hi sugarbabies…
well… i learned a little something about myself this week… well actually my assistant “A-cups” brought it to my attention…
she started with…“of all the places ive ever worked… you certainly have your own ideas about how to properly stock an office supply closet” she went on to say….something along the lines of… never before having to go to Neiman Marcus to “re-stock” the office supplies….
evidently (and how would i know???) not all supply closets feature the same items…personally… i think it just depends on your type of work…. but…since we have been moving our office ….we did a little inventory:
- Three shades of Chanel Nail Polish (vamp, noir, and shanghai red)….
- Emergency Aqua Ban…
- Emergency stash of valium
- Two pair of Lucky Brand Jeans
- Two Johnson Motors Inc. T Shirts
- Various bottles of assorted hotel shampoos/conditioners/lotions etc..
- One black Kenneth Cole swim suit
- STACKS of Paper Source Luxe Blush flat cards and envelopes
- One bottle of eyelash adhesive (no eyelashes…must be time to re-order)
- One bottle of Chanel No. 5
- Several Strobe Lights (dont ask)
- A stack of “why not Kinky in 2006″ bumper stickers
- A few ladies “intimates” …boom chika wah wah…
- Two Sage and Citrus electric room scents..my office smells wicked good
- One red table cloth
- One spare case of Voss water… sparkling
- One pair of pointy black stilettos
- One pair of puma sneakers
- One pair of strappy sandles
- Five pages of Mendez vs. Westminster first class stamps
- Stacks of cool cds including: steve earle, johnny cash, thievery corp, my life with the thrill kill kult, marilyn manson, beck, old 97’s and heather nova…
- One vintage racing helmet
- One Medium Black Overnight Bag
- One small guitar amp
- One case of Letter sized premium multi purpose paper
- One box of yellow highlighters
- One box of pens
- One toner cartridge…. that we have NO IDEA what machine it might go in…
- Two small sesow paintings
I explained to her that i only know what supplies it takes for ME to function..i have no idea what IBM considers a properly stocked supply closet…
What i am sure of….is..
that if we had what i can only imagine are more “traditional” supplies in our closet…
we wouldnt have to go to Office Depot almost every day….
BUT….
office depot isnt THAT bad… i dont mind going…
its worth it…. to be able to say…
“sure… i can be on that flight to the bahamas tonight”
some things that are more important than efficiency….
xoxo
17 comments
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November 2, 2007 at 9:22 am
I-66
I was actually able to justify the fact that most items on the list were there… until this one:
One small guitar amp
With no guitar?
And I all but expected that KY or Astroglide would be on the list. Shockingly, however, it isn’t. Well, either that or you’ve run out.
silly boy… i use spit…
but it does appear that we are out of condoms..oh my….
xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 9:45 am
Jess
Wow. I like your supply closet a lot better than ours. I may file a request with our Facilities department to expand the catalogs we use to stock up from Impact Office Supplies to Bloomingdales.
hehe IMPACT supplies sounds like a gay porn distributor!! and Bloomies… would be puuurfect…xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 9:50 am
inowpronounceyou
Guitar amps should be in every office….cuz ya just never know when you’re giong to need to turn it up to 11 to blow off steam.
hehe ..you said blow off… i know iknow..one track mind and all that..xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 10:13 am
jess
the excitement of our supply closet consists of mulitcolored highlighters…. i love that you call her a-cups.
oooh..the muliti colored ones..you kids are crrraaazy!!lol…..
poor a-cups…she has never worked with gay men either… sooo our whole office environment.. has been very ..”enlightening” for her! lol
xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 10:31 am
Velvet
Agree with jess – I was cracking up at “A-cups.”
i just call em like i see em xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 11:04 am
freckledk
Don’t call me D-Cups, okay?
I have a 99.9% full bottle of Chanel No. 5, which I will gladly trade you for three valium and a decent CD.
if i were you id INSIST on being called D-Cups! …and its a trade!!
xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 11:26 am
Uncle Keith
You win! I have a Bumble Bee Pez dispenser, a walkie-talkie (without partner), fireman boots, a 20 guage shotgun shell (sans shotgun), 16 feet of steel chain, a Ray Charles CD, a santa claus hat, and Placenta Lotion.
i dont know…. sounds like..if you pulled everything out of your closet at once..youd have a pretty kinky party there… placenta lotion…ewww…
xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 11:54 am
rothko
God, why have I never thought of the emergency stash of Valium? That would go so well with the emergency stash of Dewars. Thanks. (And great post.)
OMG..i have emergency bottle of vodka…but i dont keep it in the supply closet..its usually on my desk…xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 12:31 pm
TC the Terrible
If “a-cups” is confused by the office supply closet, it might be time to trade up on assistants. She’s not that bright to start with, per an earlier post.
nope shes not that smart…but… sometimes thats a good thing..she does what i ask..and doesnt try to reinvent the wheel every week.. AND…she is older and doesnt have a myspace page to update every 15 min… like the last one…”Hawaiian Tropic” who …. yes… was in one of those calendars! boom chicka wah wah lol….and oh yeah…she thinks im working when im blogging…she thinks i have this crazy work ethic…
xoxo
November 2, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Drunken Chud
i so need a supply closet like that. except, with manly things. like ladies undies, and tampons… what?
November 4, 2007 at 9:09 am
43bits » Coming Out of the Closet…
[...] here for full [...]
November 4, 2007 at 12:47 pm
charlotte harris
i keep a stash of antiperspirant and some dental floss in my supply cabinet… in case i leave home in a hurry and forget a crucial step in my morning hygiene routine. but it sounds like you’re pretty much prepared for…um… not even making it home in the first place. lol. oh you’re so savvy!
November 6, 2007 at 3:48 pm
Mike
All of that stuff, and no condoms?
no worries..i’ve re-ordered
xoxo
November 11, 2007 at 9:55 pm
Ulysses
You’re missing yoru Chris Whitley CD. If you’re not, then you should be.
I know you like to get asked, so, I’m asking: why don’t you send me your “neat” adventure?
November 18, 2007 at 1:36 am
perfect example « OfficeSalesMadeFun
[...] Furniture perfect example November 18, 2007, 5:36 am Filed under: Office Supplies http://blonderthanyou.wordpress.com/2007/11/02/coming-out-of-the-closet/ Read this post from another site. It is the perfect example of a badly managed stock room. [...]
December 3, 2007 at 2:06 pm
I miss my little A-Cups… « Blonder Than You….
[...] have to go to Neiman Marcus….im gonna have to stock the supply closet myself…mother of god…this is dangerous…its freaking christmas time…. i [...]
March 26, 2008 at 5:03 am
Paper man
looking through your list you seem to have covered everything….. oh no you have only got YELLOW highlighters – you should perhaps get some other colours – just to be sure!!!