oh sugarbabies, “sex on wheels” …is a precision piece…. of german engineering… and sometimes i think..maybe someone should take the keys away from me… ALLL of the below happened within the last 30 days…
- a chick… rear ended her on 66… and i didnt get her ins info or anything cause from the way she was hysterically crying i figured she didnt have any.. AND… i wanted to hurry home cause there was porn i wanted to watch….(i wish this wasnt true..but it is)
- i noticed that i had driven close to 50,000 miles without an oil change…so …i freaked . the fuck . out…i called the service manager at the dealer..and told him…hey Mike..you might need to come tow sex on wheels in…. i havent changed her oil in 50k miles… (for the record..she only needs an oil change every 15k) … He asked if she had been driving ok..and i said yes…so he said to drive her on over …if you dont make it …we’ll come get ya… so i did… when i got there…he took the keys …and was gone for five min…on his way back in he playfully smacked the back of my head… “you were looking at the Trip odometer… which has 5 thousand miles on it… you dont need an oil change for another 10 thousand miles….blondie”……
- i made an appt to get her winter tires put on… after driving around with the new tires for a day..i called Mike again… umm..Mike…there is a weird clunk when i take corners fast…did y’all notice any problems with the suspension when she was up on the racks??? …um no ..better bring her back…we will check it out… so…. back i go… they found the problem pretty quick… a water bottle rolling around under my seat….
sooo..im gonna go out on a limb here…and say..
ive pretty much lost ALLLLL credability with Mike…
and the entire crew over at the service dept… and im pretty sure i wont live any of it down anytime soon….
this may require me moving to another area…
xoxo
16 comments
November 9, 2007 at 7:40 pm
MA
I think that you and sex on wheels are like peanut butter and jelly. You’ve got to bring her out next time so that the rest of us can see her!
roger that..hot stuff….forgive me i just watched top gun.. lol…xoxo
November 9, 2007 at 8:10 pm
legallyheidi
the fact that you named your car sex on wheels is just a telling sign of your awesomeness
i like the way you think..cause usually people think it is a telling sign of my freaky-ness..xoxo
November 9, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Muskego Jeff
You have now given Mike two good stories which none of his friends will believe when he tells them.
i kinda feel bad for him..because i get that a lot too.. people say..“i used to think your blog was kinda made up stuff ..esp. about the brothel next door… but now that i’ve met you and realize its all true…im a little freaked out”…. i just hope Mike leaves out the bit about the porns that were under the passenger seat ….xoxo
November 9, 2007 at 11:01 pm
TC the Terrible
Seems to me that if “A cups” wants to keep her job, this is the type of thing she should be taking care of for you.
A water bottle. I hope it was it least an imported brand.
Enjoy your weekend.
it was..VERY imported..VERY expensive, VERY sexy VOSS … sparkling..but since i get a case delivered to my door for free each month or so…. (a story for another day) ….. i feel no guilt about having expensive imported sexy bottles of it rolling about…in my world… xoxo
November 9, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Uncle Keith
I’m certain that a woman who loves porn and has a car named sex on wheels will get lots of leeway with the boys at the dealership.
I appreciate reading about a chick rear-ending you. Now I’ve got Yeungling all over the keyboard.
that stuff on your keyboard..its not called Yeungling… unless thats what the kids ccall it these days…xoxo
November 9, 2007 at 11:55 pm
E
Call Mike and tell him you locked yourself in the car and the keys are on the outside of the car…
See “Blondstar” commercial at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuHMGu3fVlg
On my god..oh my god..thank you blondstar….soo…i’m in a coffee shop..and now EVERYONE ..in the coffee shop is laughing and trying not to spill hot coffee on themselves… xoxo
November 10, 2007 at 1:27 am
skip
it could be worse. you could work for this guy….
http://www.makemelol.com/media/349/Best_Commercial_Ever/
btw, the hard cider is bubbling away, making the basement smell pleasantly like and apple orchard. More vodka is in the works. when are we going to get together?
scary but true..he kinda dances like my gandpa! …lol..
and…i suppose when the Vodka is ready!!! xoxo
November 10, 2007 at 1:31 am
Velvet
I love that people now refer to her as “A Cups.” That is the best nickname!
Oh, and at 50,000 miles, that engine would have been sludge, and you wouldn’t have been driving no where Miss Daisy!
thats why i soooo totallly freaked out..and thinking..damn..i drive alot..but i had NO IDEA i had been on the road that much..im gonna need another car…no way sex on wheels can handle 50k every 5 months!!! doh! xoxo
November 10, 2007 at 2:38 am
ulysses
Now I’m starting to think there never was a “neat” adventure. Were you putting me on?
of course there was… but i wasnt gonna put it out “here”..but now that ive thought about it..maybe i will…im not THAT big of tease!!!
xoxo
November 12, 2007 at 1:06 am
wildbillthePirate
Don’t worry about what Mike & the guys thought; they see that kind of thing all the time. It would be more of a problem if they actually found the porn (you’d never get it back!)
boys dont usually steal my porn… they usually just wanna “borrow” it..or they offer to watch it together…xoxo.
November 12, 2007 at 9:44 am
jess
i think any kind of car incidents due to a porn distraction are justfiable based on the fact that it is MUCH more interesting than ‘oil changes’ and ‘tire balance’ and such. why does everything seem dirtier when put in quotes?
im not sure why..but..lube job… sounds dirty even without quotes!!..xoxo
November 12, 2007 at 1:20 pm
rothko
Next time, call Click and Clack. Maybe they could dedicate a show to Sex on Wheels.
oh i love those guys!!…with my luck..id call in and they would say..oh yeah MIKE told us about YOU…xoxo
November 12, 2007 at 10:31 pm
charlotte harris
Mike probably left work that day and told everyone about the chickiebaby who misread her odometer and mistook a water bottle for tire problems. So don’t bother moving to another shop… the word has already spread – he he he. You made his day and he probably can’t wait ’til you come back to see what you’re going to pull next.
November 12, 2007 at 11:55 pm
Tim
see… you could have used sex on wheels to get over to that licks show the other night. they let you drive 100mph on I66 if you’re going to a show, right?
November 13, 2007 at 11:12 am
freckledk
Well, at least you’re pretty….
November 23, 2007 at 6:03 pm
Mr. T in DC
“Sex on Wheels” is the best name I’ve ever heard for a vehicle, and I’m glad to hear she’s got a manual transmission.