hi sugarbabies…
its probably the vodka talking…but whatevs … you deserve it…. youve been xxxtra patient with me…
you deserve a post….
soooo ive been sick…i know youre allll tired of hearing it…. not as tired as i am of battling the flu ebloa virus …but…. tired… sooo ….. a few times i managed to drag myself out of bed and stir up trouble… a couple of times…i thought i was better for a day or two… then BAM…back to bed with boxes of PuffsUltra… its the little in between bits that im gonna try to put down in words here… maybe a list would work?? ill try…in no particular order…..
- went to brunch at 12:30 at a tex mex place….and it ended at 1:30 am crashing a corner vip booth and getting felt up by lesbians in a club….with quick side trips to a swanky furniture store and a crowded irish pub…..some days…. the party starts early….
- spent valentines day with this fella…. whatever…. he was persistent….and sweet…
- accidentally called a clients laptop…his porn player… in a big ole business meeting…. as in… “here *dude* (not his real name) pass me your porn player….i know how to make it work for you “…..when the room went dead silent…. i then added…ever so professionally… “umm…. i guess…..thats what she said?”…. in spite of… or because of?? not sure which… i still got the job…
- pretty sure i gave myself heavy metal poisoning … trying to eat cracker barrel cheese and instead eating a bunch of the wrapper…. yeah i know…must be a blond thing….
- kissed a boy from NYC…prob gave him the Ebola virus…oops sorry dude…
- found myself
drivingskidding across the TR Bridge during a random winter storm that pretty much reduced “sex on wheels” to a very expensive sled… if not for the weird as hell hours that i keep… im sure i woulda totally crashed….DO NOT WANT!!! - encountered the following
clusterfuckminor setbacks trying to make Lemmonex’s champagne pear cupcakes- no mixer in my kitchen
- no grater in my kitchen
- no cupcake tin in my kitchen
- no measuring cups
- no measuring spoons
- no knife (ok ok … there are a few butter knives and two steak knives that i stole from the austin grill…fucking classy eh??)…i know the recipe doesnt call for knives..but at this point….i wanted to stab something…
- no mixing bowls (only chinese rice bowls… go figure)
- couldnt open the champagne bottle ……isnt THAT what boys are for?????
- dont have foggiest idea how to “sift” things together….is that somehow different from stirring???
- cant exactly turn on the oven portion of my stove…. its gas… im afraid im gonna kill myself…sticking my head in the oven to peek in and see if i can see that wee bit of blue flame under the pan thingy…and trying turn the knob and adjust the gas flow at the same time….
- and…last but not least…i was wearing these panties…..
i know, i know…. who still wears panties????
but …i do …cause they are cute….
and i was wearing these…
cause they were new…but they were scrunching up under my jeans… sooo….
i decided kamakazi was a better idea…
sooo….. i go to the ladies room…. pull off my jeans… and was taking my panties off…when they got tangled in my 5 inch tall “free gas” stilettos… this sends me careening and i certainly would have fallen completely over…but the stall was small…. so i kinda caught myself with my elbow but not before i slam my hip into the toilet paper holder and in the process… manage to knock my jeans over and into the toilet….. yep…sugarbabies….. being a sex kitten…. is NOT all bonbons and bacon ice cream…
xoxo
15 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 28, 2008 at 8:12 am
TC the Terrible
Personally, I like girls that wear panties. It’s that extra layer of challenge that does it for me.
why doesnt this surprise me! lol
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 9:42 am
Lemmonex
So after all the setbacks, how did they turn out, dear? They could get any guy to worship you…even for a bit.
OMG… that is a WHOLE other post!
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 10:42 am
Uncle Keith
I agree with TC about the underpants. They give you a chance to say, “oh those are hot, now take them off!” or if you are a helpful guy (or lesbian) you can take them off for her.
I hope you are feeling better.
lol..feeling better…thanks…and personally …im a “just push em to the side” kind of girl… but whatever floats your boat! lol
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 10:44 am
ma
Those stilettos are dangerous, girl. But still, you’re going to have to teach me how to walk in them before the cowboy rolls into town.
ok ok.. stiletto training is on the calendar…but it is hardly fair to the cowboy!
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 10:47 am
homeimprovementninja
Well, I think you need to tell us more about the lesbians. Did they, like, come up to and, like, use a pickup line like “Lezzzzzz be friends?”
well.. ok technically one was a lesbian..one was a tranny…but we wernt sure about the tranny til waaaay later in the night..
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 11:26 am
charlotte harris
Good save with the “that’s what she said” line. You can really use it anytime, because it gets a giggle whether it even makes sense or not. “There’s no mixer in my kitchen.” That’s what she said. Or it just me?
umm no… its not just you… lol!
February 28, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Arjewtino
My ability to open a bottle of champagne might be the only reason my girlfriend keeps me around.
Well, maybe not the only reason.
yeah..thats why i keep you around too! lol
xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Food Rockz Man
I’ve got the kitchen gear . . . and I know how to open a bottle of champagne. You so should have called me! Don’t know how you live without me . . . .
im thinking you should interview for the “personal chef position” at chez suicide … where allll the positions are naughty…. xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Hammer
There once was a blogger who knew,
That kamakazi was the thing to do.
She changed in the stall,
But in breaking her fall,
Her jeans ended up in the loo.
i think your adorable too… xoxo
February 28, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Jen
Those panties are so cute though!!!! I’m so sorry about the Stall Stutter.
February 29, 2008 at 2:29 am
Annette
I love panties, they are cute and sexy. The best combination in my opinion
February 29, 2008 at 11:36 am
rothko
I was going to say something, but I keep scrolling up and seeing the pic of the panties and then … oops … damn, it … I dunno. I just forget. Like … crap! … See it just happened again. So, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but can you keep this to a text-only blog, please? (Sorry, momentary lapse. I didn’t mean whatever it was I just said.)
February 29, 2008 at 12:12 pm
kerrie
It’s always the nights I decide to stay home that all the best stuff happens. Who knew that, if I hadn’t been such a lame-o, I too could have been groped by lesbians in a VIP booth?!
Nuts!
March 18, 2008 at 7:19 pm
wildbill
I wish I knew where to begin but- Well Done Girrrrl, Well Done!
February 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm
Hans Dick
More panty pics please.