sugarbabies…
SEX KITTEN 101:
if you are a blond sex kitten in french stilettos… dancing with a sooopa sexy tiny lil’ black girl — telling boys that you are “girlfriends” — doesnt do much to disuade them from trying to dance with you…
SEX KITTEN 103:
The GOOD Thing about living next door to a club:
if you run out of toilet paper at 3:30am… they will loan you a roll
The BAD part:
it will be one of those industrial sized rolls and will be kicking round in your powder room for years….
and…..in the tradition of overheard in dc: or eavesdrop dc…except these happened to me:
1) from creepy dude with snotty attitude sitting on a fountain with large boa constrictor wrapped around him with the head coming up from between his legs and kinda swaying…
when my girlfriend was startled:
Creepy dude: “What youve never seen a guy holding a snake before??”
Me: ummm..yeah… ive seen lots of boys hold thier snakes…..just never one sooo small….
2) Cute guy friend as we are walking home from dinner:
my yoga instructor has been checking out my MATCH.Com profile…does that mean she is into me? (i dont know why this one struck me funny but it did…mostly cause my yoga instructors have mostly all been crazies…)
3) drunk girl digging in her purse for her ID
..my handbag is like a warzone!!
4) lamest pick up line of the work week… from guy sitting next to me at a bar
this IS my “im available” outfit…is that your “im available” outfit??….
5) lamest pick up line of the weekend…from super young super prepster at THE Space
him : wow… you look smart
me: wow… you look drunk
xoxo
15 comments
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April 18, 2008 at 2:58 pm
homeimprovementninja
You look smart? Are you not blonde anymore
glasses + blonde = smart ass
xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Jo
Completely unrelated to the post. Every time I read your blog, I hear the voice of the british host of Suicide Girls Radio. Can’t remember her name, but somehow it’s so fitting.
no way…I looove that show! xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Lemmonex
Sadly, I have seen a few THAT small…
awww you didnt snicker did you???
xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 4:37 pm
Ulysses
You must get tired of hearing that “smart” line all the time…
well like i said..it is usually followed by ass…
xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 8:06 pm
elvis
Me: “… nice white outfit and zucchetto… waaaaait… dude, I know you. What are you doing riding the Green Line?”
Him : “I’m going to National’s Park… all the signs around here say ‘Take Metro, Leave your Car.’”
Me : “Break a leg… Give ‘em Hell… er, Heaven, Pope”
lol…dude …. i TOLD everybody you were still alive!!!!
xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I-66
True story: The best way to pick up Suicide Blond is to pull up next to her curbside and tell her you’re going to Giant.
-just cause im walking the streets…. that doesnt mean im a street walker…i think…xoxo
April 18, 2008 at 11:42 pm
wildbillthePirate
Sex Kitten 101: I think that’s the opening discription of more than a few Penthouse letters. ( I don’t really know, but it sounds good) So No, it probably wouldn’t dissuade guys
Sex Kitten 103: Thank G*d for Wholesale clubs! Never had that problem.
id be willing to bet…that there are quite a few problems that i have had..that you may not have…most relating to douchy boys!
xoxo
April 19, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Ulysses
Maybe he should’ve gone with calling you “Mastermind” (Grace Potter and the Nocturnals). Maybe a good follow up would’ve been to suggest “Let’s Something Wrong [Let's Do Something Stupid]” (Chuck Prophet). Or maybe a different, though obvious way to go would be a line about your being a “Natural Wonder” or “Sweet in the Pines” (The Coal Men).
At least that way he’d've matched some smart for your smarts.
Check ‘em out, I’m pretty sure you’ll like ‘em.
lots of folks..dont get my music tastes…. youre not lots of folks!
xoxo
April 19, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Jen
OMG! That last pick up line!!!!! REALLY bad. But then, it’s better than the last one tried on me.
Guy leaning in as I sit at the bar: Whasurname?
Me (leaning back since he was WAY drunk) “Married”.
lol shcweeet… i might have to steal that one..lol xoxo
April 20, 2008 at 6:53 am
wildbillthePirate
Of that, I’m Sure! but douchy boys have the habit of being douchy to Everyone (in different ways)
touche’ xoxo
April 20, 2008 at 12:03 pm
Alex
The thing about pickup lines: what one says is almost irrelevant, because if there is attraction, even the worst imaginable pickup lines will work. If there is no attraction, nothing will work.
lol…true..and note..i didnt say they didnt work..only that they were lame! ok ok…i the smart one…didnt work…but like you say…..not so much because his line was lame.. .xoxo
April 20, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Hammer
The drunks spout bad lines hoping to kiss you,
(We assume this is a typical sex kitten issue)
But at least when doomsday arrives,
We’ll have no doubt The Blonde thrives,
For if nothing else she has plenty of tissue.
April 21, 2008 at 9:47 am
ma
I thought that I commented on this one.
I suck at comebacks. I’m glad I get to hang around you.
April 21, 2008 at 1:09 pm
Uncle Keith
I’m not a fan of those industrial roles of toilet paper. They usually have the consistency of sand paper. I’m very delicate.
April 22, 2008 at 11:41 pm
eleanorstrousers
Ah. DC. Where the conversation in the streets is always more interesting than reality t.v. So glad to be back in town until Friday. I’ll be the redhead with the bourbon in hand…