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sugarbabies…
sometimes its not what you do but who you do it with that makes things special…and sometimes when karma has you in her good graces… you get to do really great things WITH really great people and welll…
the stars have been aligning for me lately … or maybe it was the moon …that i usually call cruel… showing mercy to a blond with a soft spot for slightly chilly fall evenings with really warm friends…..
*the shrimp and grits over at the Argonaut is yummy… they do it spicy and cheesy…which is fine by me… ask Lenny the bar keep for a beer rec..he has a good handle on whats there and how it goes down…i suggest you arrrive in an old pick up truck even though the neighborhood isnt even scary anymore…and sorry if you missed the “Thriller on H” which was a community performance of the thriller dance… performed by assorted volunteer zombies…and sponsored by joy of motion(a dance school?) sooo the whole thing had me feelin like i was in a episode of Fame… but in a good way…
*halloween ha! thats its own post!
*the specials at Poste are sometimes more expensive than good and to be honest id have rather had a burger ….. but the company was good…the service was adorable…and by the time they poured the champagne our numbers had swelled from 2 to 6 and so i didnt reallly mind that i dropped three benjis on dinner and didnt even get laid…ok ok maybe i mind just a little 
*i may have discovered that it is easier to get to annapolis than georgetown from my place…no kidding two right hand turns…
*the booking folks at iota rarely get it wrong…(thanks to U. for the the heads up just the same) so yeah …i really enjoyed sneaking in just in time to catch Gregory Alan Isakov – i parked sex on wheels illegally right out back … sooo later im sneaking out the back door to check on her…and … i cant quite get the gate to open… i turn to a fella there “is there a trick to this?” he smiled…”yeah you PUSH it… then when you want to come back in you PULL it” then he playfully tugged on a strand of blond hair and said “...guess cute as you are…you probably dont have to open many doors for yourself” … i smiled back… “only if there isnt a GENTLEMAN in sight” he bowed low and shoved open the door….. when i got back he was holding it again… “thanks love“ later a note on my car seat said he was available for running in front of me to get pesky things like doors… 
…note passing seemed to be a theme that night… notes … and cellos…two diff cello performances in a week… who’d a guessed??… and the moon… ah yes the moon… wow …did y’all happen to see that big moon tuesday night???soooo
yeah…. a super special thanks to that big ole moon that saw me home safely this week…makes me think fall is giving spring a real run for her money this year…
i think GAI might have summed it up pretty well here:
Give me darkness when I’m dreaming Give me moonlight when I’m leaving
Give me shoes that weren’t made for standing.
Give me treeline, give me big sky, give me snowbound, Give me rainclouds, give me bedtime just sometimes…..
~GAI
xoxo
sugarbabies…
over the weekend i hit the stores looking for a bit of fall fashion inspiration… at five feet nuthin its hard to wear a lot of the cuts that are out right now… HOWEVER….. i realized that the discount rack in the little boys dept had some great tee shirts/hoodies etc that fit perfectly! yay me…
i scooped up a couple of Shaun White 4 Target tees that were 3 bucks… great for layering… and i loove to “balance” big dollar items read: rick owens black leather jacket with less expensive ones…it keeps everyone guessing and …
and if my mama only taught me one thing…it was… leave ‘em guessing…
and wow…my new love is… polyvore… holy cow! took me 12 min flat to put this little montage of todays outfit together while i waited for my flight….. it was that or start drinking and it was only 6:30 am….soo……ummm….
im no fashion blogger… and umm…my hats off to those kids…. because this little exercise showed me how many elements there reallllllly are in this simple little casual (though multi layered for travel) outfit…. that…. AND…. welll i just dont know whether its cool or creepy that there is an image of nearly every thing im wearing today online… yes… even my “delicates” …. but i didnt add those… cause you know mom stuff and how im supposed to ….
“leave em guessing”
xoxo
oh sugarbabies…
id love to stay and chat but im running a bit late and i have a plane to catch …i want to get a seat next to cube cause we have some real girl gossip to catch up on… mostly its about a certain talking to we are gonna have to have with Miss Beckinsale…
and yeah im wearing my hair and boobs like this….
but my dress is more 70’s blaxplotation soul groove disco thing…similar to this…
dotn call lame' lame
while i certainly would never pose anything as declasse’ as a ” Who Wore It Better” challenge to Hammer and Kate i think we allll know the answer …
xoxo
* out.of.control
sugarbabies….
yes its true detroit is still cold, gritty, and dirty…and i still love it….
and… if …last sunday i had to watch the redskins loose… from the front row behind their bench (which means YES i am writing off this trip as a scouting mission for my “fantasy” team ) welllllll at least i got to be there when detroit finally broke their losing streak… their fans were generous…they know alllll too well what it’s like to be on the losing side..and frankly a few of them felt sorry for me…”christ its one thing to BE the detroit lions..and another altogether to get beaten by them” … the stadium held its collective breath during the last 8 seconds… fearing that the redskins would make some miraculous play (ha! like they hadent even seen us in the red zone alll season) and take away what they had been waiting for sooooo long for… a win…
we’ve all been there…
not wanting to get our hopes up about something we want just a bit too desperately…. but despite ourselves…holding our breath hoping THIS time… it will happen …
if i had one wish for detroit… motor city……it would be time…that the rate of decay would mercifully slow down …as opposed to marching forward exponentially faster… there was a razors edge of a moment before the bubble… when the chance of a come back seemed possible maybe even close…but now that window has slammed shut soo hard that the panes have shattered… and the city is bracing for winter…and… well sometimes its hard to find things to be positive about and it was hard not to notice that … the popular gallerys that were swimming in hipsters and breaking artisits a few years ago are shuttered…soo maybe…having casino gambling will be the bet that finally pays off for detroit but who reallly knows?
what i CAN say about it though is this….
if hope comes in the form of barbeque….. and god knows we southern people think it does…
then Slows BarBQ … may be the citys salvation…say what you will about the controversial decision to build casinos… hey tough times… tough choices…but the true motor city experience is not the heavily guarded noisy palaces of marble and zebrawood veneer … its in the small community businesses…and the folks that run them … the independently run doggie daycare that welcomed alice so i could go to the football game … the mom and pop operations …the block party that is weekends at the Heidelberg Project….and a slow but steady crowd of regulars venturing onto the wrong side of the tracks for a barbecue place with a cold drinks, a warm welcome and hot food….
xoxo
~Well, you’re windy and wild
You got the blues in your shoes and your stockings
You’re windy and wild, oh yeah
Well, you’re built like a car
You got a hubcap diamond star halo
You’re dirty, sweet and you’re my girlWell, you’re dirty and sweet
Clad in black, don’t look back, and I love you
You’re dirty and sweet, oh yeah
Well you dance when you walk
So let’s dance, take a chance, understand me
You’re dirty, sweet and you’re my girl~ T-Rex
sugarbabies…
sometimes (like this morning)
…my hair falls over my eyes…and before i reach up to push it back…i get to view the world through a thin veil of blond and gold….and if i tilt my chin down and look over the top of my glasses…. the colors all slide together…fuzzy…blue sky, evergreens, falls maples….
all draped in a comforting gauzy shroud of blond…
….the edges disappear…..
and when that happens…
i feel soo sorry for folks with brown hair and perfect vision…
xoxo
sugarbabies…
im writing this post wrapped in barbed wire…a stunningly beautiful gift of gold Burberry barbed wire… but … barbed wire nonetheless…
…a fence….and nothing makes a restless spirit more uneasy than a fence…
climbing out of the wreckage of youthful dreams…we girls sometimes accept the extended hand of an older gentleman ..and on occasion we find that …that man is both an officer and a gentleman..
while for ages it was..understood …that the navy was made up of desperate men…with no other options …(piracy excluded for the sake of this particular discussion)
the lone sailors ball...and umm no i couldnt even make that name up….
effectively turned that notion on its tail… my adorable date had plenty of options… and after enduring the other sailors and their dates guarded glances things finally crescendoed in front of a mirror in the Executive Powder Room (thats “the head” to you naval kids) i leaned over the sink to apply a topcoat of expensive lip gloss… an older woman leaned in next to me…
- Her: “youre prettier than his ex wife…. she was a bitch…youre not a bitch are you?”
- Me: ummm well i suppose that depends on who you ask…..& well… my aunt fern always said “pretty is as pretty does” sooo… she prob would think it was ugly for us to be in here discussing ANYONES ex wife..
the older woman smiled slightly and nodded …. rolled her lipstick down and turned to leave…
a younger girl came over to the mirror and took her spot….
- “youre not just prettier than his ex youre nicer tooo… she really was a bitch…. i hope you deserve him”….
- Me: wink
i rejoined the officer who had managed to find me a vodka tonic… “awww what a good boy” i cooed fairly flirtatiously….glad just to be out of the gauntlet of wives/girlfriends in the powder room
“well…youre a good blonde” …..he said offhandedly…
my heart stopped… wait…what did he say??? maybe it was a coincidence??? i’ve made this mistake before….i lowered my head and looked up at him …all eyes and lashes ….(my go to look for getting what i want)
when you say “good blonde” what exxxactlyyyyy do you mean???
he was embarrassed….
awwww ummm nuthin…just a book i read once….
…oh goood god damn… my knees went weak… fucking hell……
my fingers reflexively reached up to touch the barbed wire around my throat…
christ…. hes a kerouac fan
xoxo
sugarbabies…
for a long time the door at my country place was painted Hot Pink…
i did it myself… on a hot summer day in just a hanes wife beater t shirt … and panties (one of the perks of country life…you dont HAVE to wear pants…)
and it was puuurfect… everyone always commented how “ME” it was…I took it as a compliment… even on the occasions when i knew it was a backhanded one at best…
because
and this is important kids…
i didnt care… what anyone else thought of it…. i loved it… i grinned every time i saw it come into view…and if you had asked me to name my favorite thing about that house that summer i would not have paused for a moment…before laughing and saying …the hot pink pu$$y cat entrance….
eventually …. one of the handymen inadvertently painted the door gray…for reals…he painted my HOT PINK front door industrial gray….that was a colossal communication cluster …but whatever -thats another story
the point is…
i loved my hot pink door…
i came by it naturally… or at least i felt like i did…when i was young my Granny lived in pink house… a crazily IMPRACTICAL…Victorian house on the Ocean… that was pink… i remember her coming home from a HOA meeting beaming proud of herself…for fooling the HOA into thinking her teensy pink paint chip was actually called “dusty taupe” …we danced on the porches while the house was painted… we loved it… with formal gardens everywhere… (in pots, of course, you do KNOW how hard it is to grow vintage roses in sand!!!) and well… Grandaddy… he just shook his head… and said…
whatever makes my girls happy…
and he meant it… of course… he took quite a ribbing at the clubhouse and the golf course… but he didnt care… he would just shrug his shoulders and say ….as long as his his girls were happy and that he knew if there was ever an emergency…the fire dept KNEW where the PINK house was in the sea of beigey beigey coastal architectural …
he didnt care either… and lately it may or may not have been pointed out to me by a good friend that maybe i have….
under (what i like to think was) the guise of graciousness…
cared a bit tooo much about what some people think…
i have made excuses for people when they hurt my feelings
when they hurt my friends
when they were rude
i accepted half hearted apologies that i shouldnt have….
and well…
if 2009 has been about anything sugarbabies…its been about CHANGE and that means me too…i think i should paint more stuff pink…
im gonna try much harder to pay much more attention to the people in my life who deserve it…and god knows they have been patient with me… and much less attention to those that dont…
because i realize that sooo many folks in my life have let me paint their proverbial houses pink….
they have taken risks with me…
they have held their collective breathe for me…
they have wondered what the heck is she doing?
and why on earth is she doing it?
they have shaken their heads at me…. and they have said
“whatever makes you happy”
and they have meant it…
and to all of them i am sooo thankful…
and to the others…
i’m afraid i just dont have the time anymore…
youre on your own…
its kinda like my great aunt fern always said...
sugar…youre gonna reap what you sow…
and there is no way that your sour grapes are my fault…
or my problem any more….
xoxo
oh sugarbabies…
i have to admit that the recession hasnt hit this sex kittens industry as hard as i thought it might.. go figure…but i still know times are tuff… i can gauge it by the number of resumes that come across my desk … and while i know that most of you dont know what i do…and that some of you that do know what i do still dont quite know what i do.. let me tell you that CARTOGRAPHY (while very sexy) …well…just isnt what i do… so when the third resume in a month from an unemployed cartographer crossed my desk… i started to wonder??
what about me… says
“needs a personal map maker”
ok ok not fair because truth be told.. im probably as lost if not waaay more lost than the rest of y’all …. and well…we could go on all day talking about what a hopelessly “lost cause” i am.. its just…
i dont really care ….
…i dont mind not knowing where i am half of the time…
i wake up in strange hotel rooms all the time and… well…
where am i?
is not the first question in my head…not even close…
where is the coffee???? am i getting charged for that porn?? why am i naked on the sofa?? who is that???
allll cross my mind way before
what town is this??
sex on wheels has a wicked nav system…my new iPhone(s) have cool GPS apps…
but where is the fun in that?
and in the words of an old friend…. ok ok hes not THAT old..
“Half of my mistake i swear i should have known better
Half of my mistakes were just among friends
You get a little distance on it, the truth gets clearer
…and half of my mistakes i’d probably make ‘em again”
-ga
suagarbabies…
what is there to do for blonds with a tiny dog and guitar cases sticking out of sexy european convertibles… who want to be treated like… welll…rockstars… after mother nature squelched their weekend yachting plans you ask?
…i know that is just about the worst sentence ever written … but those of you that know me…know that there is no way im going back up there to edit it!! …
awww sugarbabies… you know what they say….
cleveland rocks… and as surprised as i am… i have to admit… cleveland is way cooler than you think it is…and…thats just fine with me…cause the longer its a hip little secret the longer i can keep it all toooo myself…and we all know… im selfish that way…
rock and roll hall of fame… johnny cashes tour bus… jackos sequined glove… housed in an impressive I M Pei pyramid…on the shores of lake eerie…thats what im talking bout…
fringy artists…*sigh* i have a soft spot for those cute lil emo kids…
a pretty decent theater district…
a nice mix of cool new and gritty dirty old soul…. side by side…
an excellent local eatery with a walleye that will bring tears to your eyes…homemade pretzels and sauces that even made me ask “can i buy this stuff??” and the staff was tight too… they even brought out a bowl of water for alice…
although….overall…. cleveland could be pet friendlier…the ONLY hotel that would allow pets was the ritz… i know i know poor me….and the downtown revitalization would be helped immensely if some stuff would open before 4pm… but put that aside… and concentrate on the good bits…
and oh yeah…
the drive is stunning… and included a side trip to
which i am not going to say anything other than…..creeeeeeeepy….in the best way
…. cleveland …. who knew???
what more could a girl want from a long weekend???
oh yeah…but of course sugarbabies…. they have that too……
xoxo
oh sugrbabies!! have you been behaving yourselves??? i thought not… me either… crazy right?? … who would have thought id be rain soaked and cold on a friday afternoon in June… when im in DC? the gods must be crazy…
speaking of…
lets see…
i know you want the goods….soo… lets see what i ve got for you….
the actor… well… between our schedules… we’ve barely had a chance to see each other…. oh well… maybe when the run is over we will get a chance to make up for lost time…on a beach… in Cali…fingers crossed… reservations made…
i know iknow iknow..you are dying to hear about “the party” the one with the good invite…but you’ll have to wait…sorry to be a tease but…no time to write it all down just yet…but … it wasnt disappointing! if for no other reason than the unexpected celeb factor…oh my…
the latest obsession im totallllly in love with these… someone order them for me …pretty please!
the entertainment lawyer… he lives in NYC… we met in TX …our first date was in LA… seems like he can keep up…but i have to ask myself….can i? seriously…all this stuff has me feeling like a week in my own bed with some netflix…would soooo be in order right about now…
the roommate… welll i know what youre thinking… reallly?? a roomie?? for you?? no way! …but yes….i know i know… silly kids…shes great…you hardly know she is there…( i did make it very clear …she cant share my shoes) she doesn’t eat my food (i dont have any there anyway!) shes neat, quiet, doesnt care what is on the tv…doesnt drink my vodka…and yes shes a wee bit on the young side…and yes shes kind of a bitch… like me…and yes we totallllllly stop traffic when we are out on the street together….but as far as roomies go shes perfect…so… we are getting used to each other…her name is alice.
more soon …i promise…
xoxo
sugarbabies…
evidently after a vodka tonic…a perfect sidecar…and a few stoli doli’s at the capital grille…i can be talked into almost anything…and thats how i ended up at a lingerie show…made exxxtra classy by the fact that not just the models but also the FOOD were supplied by the infamous -read: topless- …crystal city diner…
we arrived fashionably late…and i was soon whisked into the makeup tent… so that a solid B lister of an infamous DC drag queen could glam up my make up… sorry kids…i know i know…but i showed up with a (gasp) bare face… and well im all about keeping it sexy….so…. 10 min later i have what the drag queen is calling a “smokey eye” and what i refer to as tammy faye gone streetwalker… but… whatever… everybody looks pretty under hot pink lights…um ok…almost everybody…
smile sugarbabies
after fingering a bit of burlesque-y beaded bits from this boutique
and confirming that a certain vintage chanel ring i have can indeed be repaired with a cute georgetown jeweler….
i headed home… i was double dating (going out more more than once a night) … i finally rolled home and crashed around 3am…
at 7 am..
there was an unfamiliar nuzzle on the back of my neck…
umm.. oh hai! iz forgot youze here…
the older gentleman next to me was asking for a morning romp…. i found the leash …threw my fur coat over my sweats … & we headed out… for a quick jaunt to the nearest flower box for some business… i figured folks were looking at how his fur kinda matched my fur…. and noting that his “pimp walk” (read: hip dysplasia ) was tight and thinking to myself….
yeah bitchez we coordinate…. and …wow my head hurts bad…
yeah… ummm it didnt even occur to me…
that last nights “smokey eye” had slid about an inch to the left and a half inch down…
the only thing i can say…is …umm…if you noticed a homeless looking cruellla deville walking the streets of dc bleary eyed with a gimpy older pup on sunday morn ….ummm my bad… im sorry sugarbabies….but being a sex kitten…. well…it is not ALL bon bons and bacon…
xoxo
sugarbabies…
im not usually a “joiner” but.. who could say no to the
4th annual silent poetry reading its …umm…TODAY!
be sure to pop around the blogosphere and see who else is posting poetry today…Start here or here trust me sugarbabies… poetry is sexy… and according to
Punxatawney Phil we are gonna be cooped up for a few more weeks…soo..
today is a good day to give it a go…..
Her Kind
I have gone out, a possessed witch
haunting the black air, braver at night;
dreaming evil, I have done my hitch
over the plain houses, light by light:
lonely thing, twelve-fingered, out of mind.
A woman like that is not a woman, quite.
I have been her kind.
I have found the warm caves in the woods,
filled them with skillets, carvings, shelves,
closets, silks, innumerable goods;
fixed the suppers for the worms and the elves:
whining, rearranging the disalign.
A woman like that is misunderstood.
I have been her kind.
I have ridden in your cart, driver,
waved my nude arms at villages going by,
learning the last bright routes, survivor
where your flames still bite my thigh
and my ribs crack where your wheels wind.
A woman like that is not ashamed to die.
I have been her kind.
-Anne Sexton
AND just one more… cause i know you dont reallly wannna get back to work just yet…
Desire
in my dreams
I hold my lovers
next to me all at once
and ask them
what was it I desired?
my hands are full
of their heads
like bunches of cut roses
blond hair, brown hair, red, black,
their eyes are pools of bewilderment
staring up at me
from the bouquet
what was it I desired?
I ask again
was it your bodies?
did I hope by draping
your flesh over me
I could escape
boredom
loneliness
gray hairs shooting
towards me
from the future
like thin arrows?
did I think I could escape,
by taking your breath
into my mouth,
did I think I could escape
the responsibility
of breathing?
what did I desire in you?
sex
knowledge?
power?
love?
did I expect the clouds to
crack
and blue moths to fly out of the stars?
did I expect a voice
to call to me
saying
“Here at last is the answer.”
what
I yell at them
shaking my lovers
what did I desire in you?
their ears fall off like petals
they shed their faces
in a pile at my feet
their bewildered eyes
pucker and close
centers of fallen flowers
the last face
floats down
circling in the darkness
at my feet
what did I desire in you? I whisper
the stems of their bodies
dry in my hands
– Mary Mackey
ok ok…i gave up fighting with wordpress to make this thing look half decent …i know its hard to read…but i think good poems…like good girls/boys…are worth a little struggle…
xoxo
sugarbabies….
you know what vexes me about the anti abortion movement???
they swell their numbers with children…they bus in thousands middle school and high schoolers… like it is a sort of macabre field trip…and use them to inflate their numbers…what are the kids supposed to do???…it is their chance to “come to Wash DC”… to me …it is a bit like enlisting child soldiers…using brainwashed emotionally vulnerable children to fight your battles doesnt seem right… yeah ummmm its a complex issue busing in your babies seems ummmm…. not ok…
and on a side note…gathering under my window to shout orders to your child soldiers at 630 am…also not ok…for some reason….of alll the protests that go on here….they are the only ones that consistently get this bit wrong…
sooooo ummmm sugarbabies if you happened to notice a sleepy eyed scantily dressed sex kitten on the stoop this morning…pointing out to the leaders of this particular crowd…that if they moved two feet to the left they would be shouting in front of an empty lot and NOT my bedroom window……yeah….ummm maybe i should have put on a robe or a snuggie or something…but… umm whatever…. my way worked….i mean…you shoulda seen em…. i had their FULL attention…
maybe i should have shouted something more poignant….than “get off my lawn”
xoxo
sugarbabies…
if..
- you decide to head across the street to the store for “sexy time supplies” because maybe…
- you got a teeensy bit too much sun while sunbathing naked on a yacht off the coast of florida last weekend…and…
- you decide youre in tooo big of a hurry to put on a shirt…
- cause a fella who may or may not have agreed to rub lotion on the bits you cant reach is on his way over…
- sooo…you grab the fur coat that is thrown over the Barcelona Chair ..and your umbrella …
and here is the lesson kids….
grab a fur coat …with a button… cause…holding your coat closed …with one hand and your umbrella with the other….leaves no hands available for grabbing sexy supplies at the store…. To anyone who saw my naughty girl bits in the Triple B the other night…(and most of you appeared to be visiting europeans soo i didnt get the impression you were especially scandalized) …. but to the others… ummm….oops… my bad.. but srsly?? this is DC sugarbabies… just cause its the baby oil aisle doesnt mean its safe for families…
xoxo
sugarbabies…
i came home today…
eternal sunshine … aka miami… is a great cure for the winter blues…
i didnt buy a return ticket ’cause i wasnt sure how long i was gonna stay… how long it would take to start feeling like myself again… but… after a few days i realized i really just wanted to come home (home…. is such a raw word for me these days) and deal with stuff …not hide in plain sight on a fancy yacht…one of the good things about money… is that if you have enough of it you can pretty much afford to distract yourself from almost anything you dont want to deal with… one of the the bad things is…. it never reallllly works….soo…. i booked a flight home…
i called abdul sorry thats Ab-Cool…. i wanted to practice delegating… to give up some responsibility…any responsibility…and i havent used the car service in ages…its an easy enough thing to give up on cold dreary nights when your mind is elsewhere….he seemed genuinely happy to see me…. and what girl doesnt like getting greeted at the airport by a good looking man with a bear hug??? even if he is… the limo driver…
i dropped my bag by the door…one of my mad skillz…is that i can pretty much pack for an indefinite period of time in one bag… one med sized Tumi Ballistic overnight bag…i like to think the skill is mine… but… it might be the near perfect design of the bag… i wish Tumi would come out with a line for emotional baggage…
there were empty bottles of VOSS filling the sink… (in 2009 i would realllly like to get the housekeeper on some sort of regular schedule; and delegate more, and learn to open a bottle of champagne…)…the 2 dozen white roses hadnt drooped yet (amazing) … on the table theres a small pile of literary magazines, a large pile of junk mail, a few late christmas cards (better late than never…right?) a note taped to the bathroom mirror means ill probably need to get a restraining order…great…like i have time for that…a vintage fur coat is on the floor by the sofa… i have hardly worn it this year… but the slight sunburn and the cold…make me wanna climb into something extra cozy … the heat has been turned off for a few days… the place is freezing…i slip the coat on… sometimes i reallly do feel granny with me when i wear it…
i think of the christmas eve midnight mass ….when i was a little kid … and i fell asleep in the pew snuggled up against her and that fur coat… thats religion to me…
i look around… its dark and the lights dont seem to help…
i turn on the game…tell me they didnt just throw it to bobby wade….christ…
i pour a vodka tonic… (a familiar act turned silly & glamorous by the addition of the fur)
and then
<insert the sounds of hell freezing over>
i called a boy…
its 2009 bitchezzzz…a new year …ANYTHING …..could happen…
xoxo
“im not a concept…im just a fucked up girl looking for her own peace piece of mind…” -clementine
sugarbabies…
… i dreamed i roped the moon…
or i grabbed the rope… i saw this rope attached to the moon…and noticed that the moon wasnt in the right place…hummm…
so i grabbed the rope…but then…once i had the moon…i didnt know what to do with it…
typical… i know
and nobody would take the rope…i couldnt give the moon away… i was gonna have to figure it out myself…
’cause oh yeah ..the moon was hurtling toward the earth…
and i was trying to keep the inevitable collision from being too hard…
with just a limp rope… (some of the material i GIVE you guys is tooo easy)
i was desperately trying to negotiate some sort of best case scenario…
…a soft bounce…
ok ok…
…. it wasnt as good as the dream i had where i taught Moses how to make butter..where im just churning away…and i kept telling him..dont worry the people are gonna love this shit i swear!!!
but…
it was still a pretty good dream…
sugarbabies…..be careful what you wish for ….
xoxo
sugarbabies…
last night after work i drove home…
to a small town in a battleground state…
but my smalll town isnt like most small towns in america…
it doesnt worry about the things most small towns in america worry about…the plant closing, or the price of groceries rising, or how much it costs to fill up the car this week… no my small town…isnt like most
its subsidized
its really a village supported almost entirely by rich folks (realllly reallly rich folks like Rockefeller and Getty rich folks) who like the
“idea” of a small town ….
the idea of change…not so much….
the rich are different… take it from me… i know…
i also know that
if you look realllly hard…and trust me you have to look hard… under the perfectly aged patina, past that perfectly “distressed in just the right way” veneer…you can find small town america in my little village…
its in the faces of the cooks, the grooms, the housekeepers, the farriers, and the stone masons that keep those stone walls straight and just so…
so yeah my neighbors subsidize a gourmet organic butcher shop, and a more expensive than whole foods type small grocer… and tonight they cross their fingers cause the mood is slightly downcast and as a cold drizzle falls…the rich sip french onion soup in front of a cozy fire, in an ancient hearth, that is kept burning by a giddy young boy with curly dark hair, smiling eyes and…
the knowledge that one day…he reallly could be president…
sooo today i voted for you william… -best fire stoker in the state- now you be careful, watch out for the sparks, do your homework, and dont stay up too late…ill be back soon and i have a feeling that we might have something to high five about
xoxo
sugarbabies
since my two favorite cooks here and here havent yet posted a recipe/directions…and because my favorite restaurant consultant hasnt pointed me toward a local source that can provide what i need…what we allll need … today i took drastic measures… and sent the following note:
10.02.2008
via fax: (910) xxx-xxxx
{confidential source redacted bitchez !!}
Dear Mike;
It has recently come to my attention that you sell a famous Chocolate 10 Layer Cake… This is the best news I’ve received in months. My name is {redacted}. I grew up in NC; sadly I don’t get back home often enough. When I was a kid we bought a 10 Layer Cake every Sat at the farmers market. It was awesome.
Nowadays…. I live in Washington DC. I’m not sure if you have heard but lately …well… folks have not been getting along real well here. There is literally arguing in the halls, and even in the fancy steak restaurants. If only we could end the partisan bickering!! I really feel like it would be hard for them to argue if they were eating 10 Layer Chocolate Cake. WHO isnt happy eating a 10 Layer Chocolate Cake??? If I only I could get my hands on a 10 Layer Chocolate Cake- I am pretty sure we could avert a National Financial Disaster!!
I guess this is just a long way of asking:
Can Y’all Ship Those Things???
Sincerely,
p.s. no pressure but global economic stability may very well depend on your answer…
**UPDATE** 10 layers of goodness in transit….yeah thats right TEN LAYERS bitchez!!
sugarbabies…
gambling…is addictive…
“roll the dice…sex,drugs, and rock n roll are my only vice….” -Everlast
im not usually one to gamble… i work hard for my money… so ..im pretty careful bout how i spend it…and well… i know the odds… and …thats what usually keeps me from gambling… MOST of the TIME…
..but…on occasion i get lured into a game… usually …if im tempted..
its with house money… nuthin to lose…those are pretty good odds…
even a sex kitten has a hard time saying no…
…but a kitten has to be careful…
because sometimes… the house money runs out… and if you arent done with the game…
you catch yourself investing a bit of your own…
and thats when…things get dangerous…
and kittens get skittish…
and …
well…
trips out of town get booked… and car keys get tossed about carelessly…
and the housekeeper starts shaking her head at the frequent requests for linen changes…
im afraid im not a brave girl…
and when that happens…i push back from the table..
i’m not sure i can afford to lose…
maybe i shouldnt have sat down at all….
and.. now here i am…in too deep to walk away….but…not far enough
to know if winning is really possible …
whats winning anyway??
the last one at the table??? the biggest bank roll at the end of the night???
maybe “winning” …
is just getting to play the game…getting invited to sit at the high stakes table….
and maybe just maybe …i should consider….
plunking down some cold hard emotional cash….
xoxo
sugarbabies….
lots of stuff in life these days….is fast…and getting faster…
sex on wheels cruises nicely around 90… and my new aircard (when i can get all four bars) is lightning fast (woot!)…summer…flew by like it was on a rocket…
now dont get me wrong…most days..i love the fast lane…
it may be where i feel most comfortable…its what im used to…i rarely sleep in the same bed more than two or three nights in a row…
but then there are the other days…
when you just wanna slam on the brakes..and catch your breathe… and maybe… stay in bed alllll day…tangled up in sweaty sheets with a lanky cowboy…
and on those days…well…sometimes it feels like im just doing what i can to hold on…
sooo….while its not uncommon to find me running through an airport… this time…
amazingly…
i couldnt tell you WHY i was running…
i wasnt late…
i had my ticket…
i had cleared security…
i had a good thirty min til the first boarding call…
but i definitely felt compelled
…to run…
and well… ask ANYONE who knows me…. running….is NOT something i do…
nope…
i cant think of a single time before … when i have ever felt compelled to run…
mild OCD causes me to rearrange the fridge more often than i like to admit…but …running…not so much
yet…here i was…
5 inch louboutins be damned…tumi bag over my shoulder…running…
i just wish i knew…
…sugarbabies…
if i was running AWAY from or TOWARD…
…something…
and while i cant be sure…
truthfully ….
i suspect it was a little of both…
xoxo
“Ive got a little mama she is really built for speed
all shes got to do is ask me & i give her what she needs
she likes to take my hot rod out at night
she likes to park it where its dark and tight..
faster faster pussycat lets go…
faster faster..she dont want to go slow…”
-Pink & Black
sugarbabies….
anyone who knows me…will tell you…im an eternal optimist… to a fault…
dont come to me if you want to hear something bad…
even if its the truth…
ill bend myself around and twist it up in order to find a positive angle on any slight that has occurred…any problem, any person… its part of my momma’s …”if you cant say anything good…dont say anything at all” philosophy…..
that boy didnt call you??? …well he probably lost your number! did you even CHECK missed connections before you ordered that double hot fudge sundae????
the boy youve been dating is on the cover of People magazine today…because he got married over the weekend?? well of course he loves YOU..he just hasnt called because hes been sooo busy with the wedding plans… and honeymoon stuff….silly…. (true story)
and in the spirit of… Eternal Optimism… i offer you…. a few GOOD things…
about Mondays
- someone is always just back from a vacay… so the break room is full of goodies, salt water taffy, fudge, grandmas cookies…etc
- you never have to wait for a table in a restaurant on a Monday…
- if you are so inclined..you can merely respond with a coy half smile to queries about how your weekend went
- fresh starts…
- Yay Monday
- screen on the green…if you are into that sort of thing…
- you get to kill time at the office surfing the blogosphere
- last but not least..it goes fast… well… ok ok ..if you sleep late… and go in around noon and then go out to lunch around one…and then …run a few errands on your way back to the office…and THEN write a wee bit for your blog…. well then…the $hit flies…
xoxo…
sugarbabies…
evidently….i can be talked into just about annnny thing after enough wine and vodka….and if… after finishing off a decent bottle of red…i have a few vodka tonics….the idea might even be mine…
note to self: if you hare too tipsy to get your eyelashes on in three or four tries…for the love of all that is holy…stay home…curl up with some netflix…
soooo….
where were we??
- oh yes i was dwinking….check
- false eyelashes…check
- chanel lip gloss… check
- big barbarella hair…oh snap…check
- shoes that make mothers everywhere cry for their baby boys…. check
and im out the door… and in no time flat im… on a dance floor across town…
teasing more than my share of boys annnnd girls….
until a smarmy dude corners me at the bar and tells me im booooteeful…
umm thanks dude…
and that his wife (a tall blond in a low cut red dress … that looks like shed rather be in a turkish prison ….than this place)… lllurves me…..ok….cool…look i just wanted to dance and have a bit of fun..im not reallly into this stuff….
when over walks the party promoter…and calls me by name…hey suicide…we have misssed you!!!
….uhhh great….
i must have been reallllly fucked up…. because later i start gettting text messages from the smarmy swinger dude saying he has a saucy idea!!….somebody shoot me….
“lets exchange some pics …but only from the waste down….”
ewwwwww…. dude that is gross…i mean from the waist down is creepy …from the “waste” down…. welll…. we just wont go there… though…. i was tempted to send him a wicked pic of my kneecap… which everrrryone knows is my best feature…
this must have been what prompted me to throw my phone in a sewer drain….or whatever i did with it…cause the next morning…i have no idea where that lil piece of my heart has ended up…
and god must be punishing me….because my mac wont boot…im totalllly isolated…. AND i have to pack and leave town in less than two hours…
god bless….the business plan that now has the radio shack in my hood open at 9am on Sundays!! they found me a deal…googled an address for me… AND had a new blackberry in my grubby little paws…all in under 20 min….mad props…to the little kids employees in there who were soo helpful despite their own lil hangover issues!!…
soooo….anyway…that is a realllllly long way of saying…. if you know me …text me… cause right now i dont even have my mamma’s number…
xoxo
sugarbabies…
by request….especially for this fella…
picture it…
a late sat afternoon drive to the country….the top is down the sun is hot but its on its way down….so the heat isnt tooo bad…
no…its just about right…
the road is lonely…and due to a dependable bit of intel… i know that it is shift change for the boys in blue along this lil stretch of pavement… sooo… i push in the clutch…(which is kinda hard…cause ive already pulled off my shoes and even with the seat as far forward as it goes…my toes just barely reach to push it all the way to the floor) i slide her into 6th….and turn up the music…
life doesnt get much better than this…
i throw my hands over my head for a fews seconds…look…mom…no hands!…. the alignment is perfect…she doesnt even pull a tiny bit….i put my hands back on the wheel…ahead of me …waaaay ahead..i spy another vehicle…a big one…they dont allow big rigs on the greenway and so its a bit unusual to see something that big..on this stretch of pavement….
im gaining pretty fast…steering with one hand.. and trying to get my tangle of hair back into some sort of ponytail with the other….
im closing in…its an RV… pulling a gear trailer… i have enough friends in bands to recognize this as musicians on the road….hmmmm….i get a little closer i see the writing on the back of the trailer…
odd….quotes from some ole rock and roll….
i pull up alongside….
“keeping the dream alive” plastered alll over the side…
its an RV full of Elvis impersonators…and…wait for it….
they are waving …(i know what you’re thinking…srsly?? but sugarbabies i couldnt make this shit up)
right then… a gust of wind catches my top…
up goes my shirt…
The Elvis at the wheel…honks and give the thumbs up!…
i drop …my hair.. push my top back down… and wave….
push it to the floor… zooommmm away….
Keeping the Dream Alive…indeed….
xoxo
ironically..my fave elvis show…Elvez…will be at the black cat august 15 with his infamous…ElVez for Prez show… its ALWAYS a good time..worlds will collide…i recommend it to one and alll…
sugarbabies…the call went like this:
hello???
…oh hey…yeah im sorry for not calling you back the last few days…
ok ok…yeah its been a few weeks..
me? ..oh im doing ok …well…not really….
let me just put it to you this way…
im at the office and im wearing sneakers…
umm..no not the cute Chanel golf shoes…the ones i wear for taking out the trash..
yeah no shit…
rock fucking bottom…
yeah..that would be bottom bitch to you lovah….
yeah right…a few gay men here nearly collapsed
something about hell freezing over and a tear in the space time continuum ….
the straight guy noticed that i’m short…and asked if somebody crossed the streams…
ha fucking ha…
oh it gets better…
yeah waaaay better….
how long have we known each other??
that long…sooo…
you know how i take out any stress on my….wait for it…. sugarbabies…wait for it….
HAIR.
soooo…yeah… if you ever grab a six dollar bottle of hair dye from the Triple B and think…umm whats the worst thing that could happen??? my hair will be a different shade of blond…
yeah… welll…. thats not exactly true…
umm..yeah it could turn several other shades of blond..including orangey red and ummm some grayish purpley shades in some splotches…
i know…i know…. but it costs 4 bennies every freaking time…
right..umm …good point..now it will be $406.00
i know i know….but…INSTANT gratification……they were closed …right??? hair salons should fucking be like waffle houses… yeah 24 fuck!ng 7 …. otherwise $hit like this happens…. of course i called him!……uhhh yeah….i have his cell….
fuck that…hes not a boy…hes a HairDresser…
hes my therapist for christ sake…
HELLO!!…. do you know how often i color my hair???? i see him more often than the dry cleaner….
yeah hes gonna meet me at my place…. but he lives all the way in mclean….and he is booked all day..so it will take a while
yeah…its that bad
housecall bad…
its like ive falllen into the abysss….
right??
sneakers…bad hair day… Sex on Wheels is in the shop….
oh but…let me tell you something…….
the good part about driving the loaner..
if somebody is checking you out at a light or something…..its SUCH an ego boost….
yeah …
no its totalllly different….
if youre in SOW you never KNOW if they checking out you….or the car…..
yeah and if the top is not down ..you know..folks have to REALLLY be interested to notice that my hair color is whacked off the chain..
i know, i know…im gonna start cruising in ghetto sleds…just for my ego….
i dunno whats your weekend look like??
im supposed to go to a party up in adams morgan…but… i dunno… ill prob duck out early…
yeah i know….NO…cause i think it sounds kinda nasty…like a stripper move…
….hitting bottom…
sounds like EVERY weekend
oh wait… that is slapping a$$ …whatever…yeah…im feeling a lot better…
yeah ..im gonna go put on some real shoes…
yeah there is a pair of pointy ass michael kors stilettos in the supply closet….the black ones with two ankle straps….they look like a dominatrix would wear em…
i know…i LOVE that in a shoe…
yeah..but im gonna look sooopa slutty cause….
i’m in khaki shorts and my johnny cash t-shirt.
i know..if i didnt know you better …id think this was one of those
“heavy breathing..what are you wearing phone calls”…
is it narcissistic of me to think everyone is looking at my hair??
i mean….youd be pressed to find a bigger attention whore than me…but still.
yeah your right…ok well … maybe no one will notice…
umm….i take that back…a guy in the office across the hall just drew a life size picture of me with sharpies..with purple and orange hair…and printed TRAGIC in this realllly expensive font i just bought across the top… and..umm..i gotta go..he is heading down the hall..to post it in the break room….yeah.
thanks
ok ..
talk to you later……
bye…
xoxo
suagarbabies…
“you have to wait here…YOU are NOT family”…. thats what the tiny hood rat at the front desk said to me…smacking her gum..her hip thrown out to one side her hand thrown up in a “talk to it” gesture…..
i shit you not…thats what she said….
as they wheeled my best friend of all time away from me… fast…they were throwing tubing and bags and grabbing rolling equipment..and i watched til they turned the corner…
for a little while i felt like i was wasnt completely helpless as i gave the intake nurse his insurance info and medical history…..guess they dont care WHO gives them the billing info…
then i paced… malcolm in the middle was on the overhead tv… and the only magazine was a dog eared year old copy of AARP …..but i couldnt focus enough to see the print anyway…
then after about 45 min… i was mad..
real mad …. i seethed when lunch was delivered from a local chinese place and they waved the delivery guy back to the nurses station….. they munched on egg rolls…while i wondered if my best friend was alive? cold? scared? dead?…. ok..i understand they dont want me in the dr’s way….hell i dont WANT To be in the dr’s way if they are doing something …but… umm…NOBODY can tell me whats going on???
they gossiped…they commented on his tattoos…. whispered that they recognized him…took a few calls on their cell phones from their boyfriends…i mean technically they werent allowed to have their cell phones…so a work around had been devised… when the ringers went off in their “storage area” they would go get them and then walk to the edge of the carpet to talk about …whatever…
i kept playing it over in my head….you are not family…you are not family….
what the hell do these people know about family???? they dont know him they dont know me..they certainly dont know about our “family”….they dont know:
that his parents are assholes and kicked him out of the house when he told them he was gay
that i moved in with him for several months a few years ago when he first got cancer…to take him back and forth to chemo and to care for him after the treatments left him a mess…
that he gets realllly scared at hospitals… i mean you really only have to go through cancer treatments once for hospitals to leave a bad taste in your mouth…three times… and well…. you’ll pretty much freak out when they try to put an iv in your arm too…
that when i needed it..he offered to let me live with him…rent free… for as long as i needed (seriously… isnt THAT family)
that we both leave our estates to each other in our wills…
that we have known each other since back when you could see a show at the bayou..the 9:30 club was downtown… the black cat was “that new place”…posuers was THE place to be…coke was cool… reallly…that long…
that if anything ever happened to me… thats who id want next to me at the hospital…waaaay before id want any of my “family”….
that we are “porn buddies“…
that we wear wedding bands on chains around our necks as symbols of our friendship and because if you are not married in this society ….everyone assumes you are missing something…we know better than that
i stood in the doorway to the nurses station….staring at them… clutching his shirt and wallet… i waited… and waited… i fought tears…
i twittered…
and then.. i did what i do best…
i got my way… the way i do best…
i spied a dr looking dude… and made eye contact… i gave him a half smile frowny face…
and yeah….he came over…
when he asked if i needed help…
i nodded and let a few of the tears roll down my cheeks… he put his arm around me …all i said was..
you have my best friend back there…and i just want to know if he is ok…..
he went and got me new tissues…. he checked on my friend… he escorted me past the hood rat… past the nurses station… past the trash can full of chinese take out boxes…
when i got to his room..we both broke down and cried…
the dr came to talk to me….explained that it was a good thing we got to the hospital soooo fast…(my friend chuckled from his bed about sex on wheels…MAYBE being worth alll the trouble she puts me through!) the dr. said that he could maybe go home tomorrow night…i told the dr i wasnt leaving…and she smiled.. and had the orderly move a more comfortable chair into the room….
sugarbabies… i realize…that the only thing harder than defining porn…might be defining FAMILY…
but i swear … the whole thing…. made me agonizingly aware of the magnitude of not allowing gay partners to marry…i know that gay couples go through this kind of thing often… and … its awful… i cant really imagine it…two hours and i was near crazy…
step back folks…it isnt about having two dudes or two chicks on the top of a cake…. it isnt just about having a “wedding” …..it isnt about what “your god” preaches…..its about being legally defined as family….. not having to explain to a 17 year old receptionist who cant even tie her shoes..(she was born in the age of velcro) … what FAMILY is… cause reallly… its none of her business…
xoxo
ps.. these folks have taken up the fight…. i support them ..i hope you will too…
sugarbabies…
i spent most of the day yesterday …with one of those guys that makes women drool… he was attentive sweet and most importantly…gentle …but in that Im in control here kind of way… that makes you trust him… that and knew exactly what i needed….
i kind of wish we had met under different circumstances…cause it’s a bit embarrassing to be shaking and crying…when you meet your new crush…
later after i had a bit of a buzz…and had prob been talking too much ….. he told me i had “good roots”…
i explained that i was southern…and we agreed that both were good things….
when it was finallllly time for me to go…
he gave me a special number to reach him this weekend… in case i wanted to score drugs…
ahh..
i heart my dentist…
xoxo
Take A Shot