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hi sugarbabies…
its probably the vodka talking…but whatevs … you deserve it…. youve been xxxtra patient with me…
you deserve a post….
soooo ive been sick…i know youre allll tired of hearing it…. not as tired as i am of battling the flu ebloa virus …but…. tired… sooo ….. a few times i managed to drag myself out of bed and stir up trouble… a couple of times…i thought i was better for a day or two… then BAM…back to bed with boxes of PuffsUltra… its the little in between bits that im gonna try to put down in words here… maybe a list would work?? ill try…in no particular order…..
- went to brunch at 12:30 at a tex mex place….and it ended at 1:30 am crashing a corner vip booth and getting felt up by lesbians in a club….with quick side trips to a swanky furniture store and a crowded irish pub…..some days…. the party starts early….
- spent valentines day with this fella…. whatever…. he was persistent….and sweet…
- accidentally called a clients laptop…his porn player… in a big ole business meeting…. as in… “here *dude* (not his real name) pass me your porn player….i know how to make it work for you “…..when the room went dead silent…. i then added…ever so professionally… “umm…. i guess…..thats what she said?”…. in spite of… or because of?? not sure which… i still got the job…
- pretty sure i gave myself heavy metal poisoning … trying to eat cracker barrel cheese and instead eating a bunch of the wrapper…. yeah i know…must be a blond thing….
- kissed a boy from NYC…prob gave him the Ebola virus…oops sorry dude…
- found myself
drivingskidding across the TR Bridge during a random winter storm that pretty much reduced “sex on wheels” to a very expensive sled… if not for the weird as hell hours that i keep… im sure i woulda totally crashed….DO NOT WANT!!! - encountered the following
clusterfuckminor setbacks trying to make Lemmonex’s champagne pear cupcakes- no mixer in my kitchen
- no grater in my kitchen
- no cupcake tin in my kitchen
- no measuring cups
- no measuring spoons
- no knife (ok ok … there are a few butter knives and two steak knives that i stole from the austin grill…fucking classy eh??)…i know the recipe doesnt call for knives..but at this point….i wanted to stab something…
- no mixing bowls (only chinese rice bowls… go figure)
- couldnt open the champagne bottle ……isnt THAT what boys are for?????
- dont have foggiest idea how to “sift” things together….is that somehow different from stirring???
- cant exactly turn on the oven portion of my stove…. its gas… im afraid im gonna kill myself…sticking my head in the oven to peek in and see if i can see that wee bit of blue flame under the pan thingy…and trying turn the knob and adjust the gas flow at the same time….
- and…last but not least…i was wearing these panties…..
i know, i know…. who still wears panties????
but …i do …cause they are cute….
and i was wearing these…
cause they were new…but they were scrunching up under my jeans… sooo….
i decided kamakazi was a better idea…
sooo….. i go to the ladies room…. pull off my jeans… and was taking my panties off…when they got tangled in my 5 inch tall “free gas” stilettos… this sends me careening and i certainly would have fallen completely over…but the stall was small…. so i kinda caught myself with my elbow but not before i slam my hip into the toilet paper holder and in the process… manage to knock my jeans over and into the toilet….. yep…sugarbabies….. being a sex kitten…. is NOT all bonbons and bacon ice cream…
xoxo
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