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first..your boyfriend doesn’t think i’m a bitch… you do… its not the same… but don’t worry… i TOLD him i’m a bitch… he took it as a challenge… your boyfriend is a little bit competitive and likes a bit of a challenge… and i’ve got that over you… cause he already KNOWS he can have you … and hes bored with your tory burch ballerina flats…and diaper bag of a purse… sorry love… milquetoast isn’t sexy…and adding a bit of spice doesn’t make me a bitch..it makes me smart…
also…
…your boyfriend doesn’t like drama… he doesn’t want to fight… he does like sex… he likes angry sex and make up sex and morning sex and two am after the club sex and lets watch a movie in bed sex and before sunday brunch sex and during sunday brunch sex and i had a long day at work sex and gee your hair smells terrific sex and mmmm you look good in that dress take it off sex…
i’m not saying its just sex… but there is a lot to be said for keeping things…sexy…
via: mmrpg.net
because
i may be a spoiled…slightly ocd…passive aggressive bitch with daddy issues who drives too fast…cant park for shit…drinks too often…swears too much… carries around a ridiculously tiny dog (also a certified bitch)…eats carbs …stays out late on school nights…pouts…cant keep her fridge stocked with more than mixers… shameless flirt… in slutty shoes…but….
at my core…
i’m a really positive person….and
in a town full of spin doctors… trained to find and concentrate on the negative …that’s sexy…or at least your boyfriend thought it was 
…
xoxo
…great…
of course….asking the printer to actuallly work would be wayyyy tooo much… fuck christmas cards…
i need to eat something….what time is it??
3:00…..christ… ive only eaten some grated cheddar…no wonder i have this fucking throbbing headache….
ipod: My Life with The Thrill Kill Kult: ….as soon as i can im getting out of here….
yeah i need to get outta here…where are my shoes???…no…. not those….no i think i want the tall boots…the pointy dior ones with five inch stiletto heels…i havent worn those in a while….christ… this closet is cluttered….
do not start cleaning the closet do not start cleaning the closet do not start cleaning the closet do not start cleaning
here they are… god damn they hurt my feet… perfect…last time my toe nails scrunched up against my toes and when i took these fuckers off my feet were a bloody mess….
glamour is a rocky road….
perfect…. thats exactly what i want… fuck fuck fuck….
Skin flicks… lipstick… baby scribbles in the mirror…
i need the “narrow at the ankle” skinny jeans…good thing i did laundry…
and the thigh high “socks” OVER the jeans…yep…
damn these boots are hot ….i should wear them more often…but fuck me
drama overdoses….
yeah …they still reallllly hurt my feet…
i dont care…. i wanna wear em anyway…im looking forward to the hurt..
it feels kinda good…
no good isnt the word….what is it??? they feelll ____???? welll…. i feel…..
i FEEL a LOT….. these days…its too much…. id rather just feel my feet….even if its cause they hurt..
chickie babys gone off the deep end
pain….plain ole predictable foot pain… that im in CONTROL of….
is almost…whats the word??????…. comforting…
and then he hit me …and it felt like a kiss…
no not comforting….but well…it beats….{ha a pun…i rock}……yeah it beats the shit out of any inner turmoil crap….
god damn…..ive had an emotionally exhausting few days….
i just wanna turn it all offf!! offf…offff….offf
change get back to the beginning…
i do not have time to psycho analyze my relationship with a pair of designer dominatrix boots…..
i wanna get outta here…now…
change… go back to the beginning…
emotional honesty as bravery…. or vanity…..seriously??? for fucks sake im shaking …
i want out of here….
thoughtless words are like shadows…
where the fuck is my overnight bag???
where is my phone???
hey beeotch…no not too good… i could prob use that…can you bring some valium?… feel like fish???
ok… see you in an hour …ish… bye.
god dammit im outta soda pop…
i’ll go to burger king on my way out…but christ i want to get out of here…now…now…
from a world where words… are like graven images
zip these fucking boots up…
yeah im feeling a little bad ass….ill wear the red leather jacket….looks cute with my t-shirt….
bag? check.
lip gloss? check.
credit cards? check.
cell phone? check.
turn off the heat.. Check.
damn… the flowers… they need to go to the trash… fuck.. i dont want to take the time… i want to leave NOW… fuck ‘em and fuck him tooo…
we talk …we twist …we turn …we blow our circuits….
ok im out…
—- whats that guy doing?? — Christ on a Stick… hes peeing on my building….great…just ignore him walk away…walk away..
no he didnt just call me sweetness….
fuck hes gonna pee on me! ….
” yeah i see your junk… put it away… NOW”
it could’ve been you..it could’ve been me…
@ burger king walk up window: “can i get a large diet soda?”
FUCK-ing-A…. he did NOT follow me here with his shit…still out…. christ….i *heart* dc i *heart* dc
“Hell no… im not buying you shit! put your junk away before i call the cops…im not fucking kidding!! you just tried to piss on me! fucking cocksucker if you dont put it away ill get that cop!
butterscotch!!! you fucker ….walk to the garage dont run..walk… walk…dont run …walk …dont run…
buses… roadies… a concert is loading in… i dont care i want out of here….i want out before the crowd shows up….
where did i park?? oh… hi baby… unlock…slide down behind the wheel… push the ipod into the holster…
change… get back to the beginning…in the hour of zero
fuck my head is throbbing… turn the music up louder… louder…louder…ah….
born into a life where pain is your very best friend…
fuck… missed the light…there is L-bomb’s place WTF is up with him???… he left his business card on my windshield last week…WTF do i do with that??? …fucking great…green light green light green light..i want to go…i want out of here…
one life…one fire… get back to the beginning…
unmarked car rolling up behind me… fucking helll…. whew…its just “columbian hottys” husband…. he prob wants to know if im gonna mention seeing him {redacted} his secret is safe with me…. thats between them…. nod back to him…nod… asshole….
this town is toooo fucking small….
its the way of the wicked…
green light green light green light… peel out…if unmarked wants to stop me… he’ll have to catch me… i wanna be doing 90… i wanna be going fast….i wanna be over that bridge…
theres no time for love….
im not one of the brave ones… and im not sure if im vain….maybe i am… but now…right now…. all i want is to run… all i can think about is running… im running… again… but dammmmnit… i have no idea where im going…
theres no time for love… where the wild ones live..
xoxo
****editors note****
i felt much better after two drinks a valium and some grilled tilapia in lemon butter sauce… and no worries…i just cuss a heck of a lot more in my head…than when i talk..
xoxo
oh sugarbabies….
it wasnt anything that 12 hours of sleep and a few mood leveling Grey Goose and Tonics… couldnt fix…. thanks for your well wishes… and….yes…everything is the color it should be now….
in an effort to lighten things up a bit…. well…
one of my fave bloggers…. decided that her life was more fun as a multiple choice quiz….. well i started thinking…and i decided that my life….is probably better as a comic… depending on well…..all kinds of crap…… maybe it will be a regular feature…
special thanks to:
glenn barr whose images of Avengah and i forget the name of the other one and i cant find it online.. i stole..errr umm borrowed
HIN to whom i credit the phrase “eyelash jujitsu” or judo in this case…and whose birthday im ashamed to admit..i overlooked….i suck… i know….
blueseaglass…..who i cant believe found that hot pic of the bond girl on the Playboy cover from Nov 1965….which by the way….i scored a super good condition copy of off ebay for like 7 bucks shipping included!! and no kidding the cover is truly only HALF the fun….sooo…if youre in my bathroom… be sure to pick it up…the centerfold…..is freaking priceless
xoxo
hi sugarbabies…
my tolerance for douchbagy behavior is at an all time low… rrgh…it went something like this….
4pm… text message from realllly rich man boy i used to see kinda often…
Im in town can i buy you a drink…
- douch move..if you haven’t seen me in mos. freaking call…i know rejection is easier in the form of a text…but grow some balls…call
i responded that i was tied up til late (not that way…*sigh*…i wish..)
he insisted…..would 8pm be late enough?…
- douche move..take no for an answer
i reluctantly agreed…
About 6pm i thought about canceling…but…
before i could… i get another text saying hes at one of the new uber fancy bars in my neighborhood.. waiting…
rrrgh.. TWO HOURS EARLY….
- third douche move in two hours…not good
i sucked it up and thought..ok… well hes close by… i can do it…
i sighed as i turned off … a really good episode of CSI…
and walked out into the cold…
things went ok for about 15 min… he asked how i had been.. and almost managed to look like he cared…
i explained that i :
- had been realllly busy….ugh…
- was reallly exhausted… and..
- a good friends young daughter had been diagnosed with some realllly freaking scary asss medical shit….
through that conversation ..i stayed upbeat and positive…
BUT then… he said how he had been dealing with some real shit too..
oh no! i thought… thinking of his aging parents or some such thing…
…and im not making this up…
he starts going offff…about how he cant get the phone in his new Mercedes to work…
he works himself all up…slamming his phone on the bar…
- psycho douche move
now granted it can be frustrating to pay 90k for a new car and then have shit not work…
but damn it…
that is NOT a real problem
that is an inconvenience… there is a difference…
and if you have sooo much money that your attorney suggests that you start a charitable fund..to defray your tax liability….you should to know it…..
- douche move…I don’t want to sit in a bar and just nod my head at your silly rant… conversations go two ways…
quite frankly…the whole thing turned my stomach….
to the point that i told him…
umm ..look ..im gonna pass on the dinner offer….im really tired…
soooo then…. he invited me to a big party on sat night… in Miami…
- douche move…but..hey… who is counting???and i left out a few others…
Oh..wish i could… i said…but i already have plans…
that MADE HIM MAD…. no shit!!!
- douche move ..uh..youre upset that I cant go to a party in ANOTHER state without more than three days notice?? Fuck You…if i even LIKED you at the moment..i might consider it..but um…i dont…
i also told him:
“look sugarpie…youve had a few more drinks than me…so im gonna chalk it up to that..but…im sorry to have to be the one to tell you… you have waay toooo good a life to be concentrating on a bunch of petty negative shit… none of your problems cant be fixed with money..and you have plenty of it…”
and i left…
WORST PART… i looked freaking stunning…
what a fucking waste….
after i ditched him i went to chipotle…
ordered a chicken bowl… i watched the girl put a sloppy spoonful of guac on the top…
at that moment..
i knew id made the right decision… walking away from him…
i deleted him from my cell phone…
paid for my chicken bowl…
and walked quite contentedly back out into the cold…
xoxo
UPDATE: i got a text this morning saying please dont contact him…. ummm..dude..i have NEVER contacted YOU…i dont call boys….. maybe YOU should stop contacting ME…ya think??..you f-ing psycho!!
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