Hi sugar babies…

Suburban Starbucks Scare Me….and that is saying something because i met the following in my city starbucks… and it never seemed unusual or scary

  • 4- clowns from russia (not like frat boys..like real CLOWNS people…with red noses et al..)
  • 2- eastern european trapeze artists …yeah the circus was in town
  • 1- mustachioed man with a chicken in a bag (perhaps it was El Guapo??no?)
  • 1- presidential candidate ..and i think politicians are pretty scary….
  • 1- former IRA honcho.. thats IRA NOT IRS… IRS might have been scary

but … since TC asked…last week ….in the middle of a strip mall… i spied a parking spot in front of a centreville starbucks and decided a caffeinated beverage and some phone calls would be a good idea….

i grabbed my coffee and a seat….and commenced people freak watching:

  • 1- big ole lesbian who realllly liked “sex on wheels” and wanted to talk about it.. i had to keep telling the poor thing how much i LIKE DRIVING A STICK….
  • 4- old ladies talking about ones recent cruise to alaska (for some reason old ladies dont gather in my city starbucks….and aren’t old ladies supposed to frown on $7 coffee drinks??)
  • 1- college aged girl and her tired looking mom who fought loudly the whole time about about the girl getting two thousand dollars worth of hair extensions before she went back to school…im pretty sure the girl won…
  • 4- soccer moms that eerily resembled meth addicts dragging young children in and forcing them to have sugary drinks..(the poor kids wanted water!!!)
  • 1- asian girl studying ..ok ok ..not that scary..
  • 2- REALLLLLLY big girls both reading crazy ROMANCE NOVELS…OMG…they still sell those!!!
  • 1- lady with a rolling suitcase and a kid…(umm..where do you ROLL your suitcase in the burbs?? ..there was no bus or metro stop..)
  • 1- middle aged man with an i-phone who wanted to show IT to me & i dont think he meant the iphone

Basically TC …. i’m worried bout you out there…