or… how to score a free tank of gas…
sooo yesterday…im out in the burbs.. and rocking my new MARNI platform, peep-toe, pumps ( i love alliterations)….the black and brown ones.. the ones with a five inch heel on a two inch platform.. the ones that can only really be called expensive Hooker Heels… but damn i like it up here..so i doubt im coming down anytime soon..
as worn here..by kimberly stewart… she is not a hooker either..she just dresses like one too…
anyway…. i pull into a reston exxon station…..and well….. leering fellas start coming out of the woodwork…
i was in a hurry…..but..like my mama taught me…. smiled politely, batted my eyelashes (i cant help it im a shameless flirt) and answered their questions…
some about the vanity tag, some about “sex on wheels”, some about me….
i finished pumping (gas.. you assholes) and went inside to pay…. the paunchy middle aged men boys followed me in… more questions..more polite smiles and
- “yes..she is very fast”….
- “yes…she keeps me in trouble” ….
- “yes..she has a manual transmission”
- “yes she is a lot of car for a little girl like me”…
- “yes thats why i need these platform shoes..so i can reach the pedals”..
the whole time i knew what they really wanted to ask was… “how much?” … and i dont mean for the car..
when they had finally paid for their sodas and honeybuns…and couldnt think of any more small talk….they wandered back to their respective cars..
i shook my head at Joon… the cashier/manager… he was smiling…
“ah..suicide_blond…. you soo good for business…. you no pay today…. it is my treat…”
i looked confused..and thought maybe one of the boys had “picked up my tab”... but no…
joon continued..evidently..he was SURE ..that after i had flirted shamelessly talked to them so politely… they would alll be back for weeks hoping to run into the blond in the euoropean sports car and the f-me pumps!!! boys…whatever…
lol…i had just scored him four new regulars…
and me…a free tank of supreme…
with gas prices what they are..i think Gloria Steinem would understand.
xoxo
21 comments
August 28, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I-66
Did he even say the underscore in your name? 😉
August 28, 2007 at 2:40 pm
mysterygirl!
Yeah, those are great shoes. I have no doubts of their powers!
August 28, 2007 at 2:44 pm
suicide_blond
66:..he didnt SAY the underscore..but i could see it in his eyes
mystery:..power to the people or uh..peep toe platform pumps!!
August 28, 2007 at 4:53 pm
inowpronounceyou
See, even rednecks are prone to the perils of the foot fetish. I assume those are now called your “free gas shoes”?
August 28, 2007 at 4:56 pm
suicide_blond
lol.. yes..those are my “free gas” shoes…
my red ones… are my “get into ANY place free and never buy a drink ” shoes…
so when people ask me if expensive shoes are worth it.. i simply reply..
A GREAT pair will pay for themselves!
xoxo
August 28, 2007 at 6:22 pm
nullp0inter
Once upon a time, when I was naive and an idealist this would have made me upset. Nowadays, I just understand it’s just the way the world works.
Poor fool, he makes me laugh!
Insolent boy! This slave of fashion – basking in your glory!
Ignorant fool! This brave young suitor,…
Now those people knew fashion!
August 28, 2007 at 7:13 pm
suicide_blond
null…..dont fret too much about it..boys are just silly
xoxo
August 28, 2007 at 9:39 pm
TC the Terrible
I bow to your greatness and am humbled to be able to read about it.
August 28, 2007 at 10:16 pm
suicide_blond
TC ….get your ass to Neiman Marcus…and buy THE WOMAN a pair of Marni pumps before they sell out….
xoxo
August 29, 2007 at 2:35 am
pqresident
see what happens when the city folk wander out to Reston!
those shoes do look fabulous. I’ve only seen the hookers wear the clear ones, however. cheap imitations probably.
August 29, 2007 at 2:36 am
nullp0inter
You’re right, it’s really close by.
The word fashion trigger phantom of the opera lyrics in my head.
I’m starting to think xoxo is subliminal advertising.
August 29, 2007 at 9:19 am
homeimprovementninja
Yeah, hooker shoes are hawt! I mean, not as hot as hooker boots, but still way freakin’ hot!
August 29, 2007 at 3:15 pm
suicide_blond
PQ… yeah..*sigh*..they are fab… and i should stay out of the burbs…they cant handle this jelly…
null: xoxoxo…. you are getting sleepy…verrry sleepy…and you want to do my evil bidding….
HIN: *sigh*… hawt hooker boots..you know the way to a girls heart dont you…
xoxo
August 30, 2007 at 3:50 am
Kelso
Of course Gloria Steinem would understand. She fucked both the Shah (Reza Palahvi) and Mort Zuckerman.
August 30, 2007 at 4:41 pm
suicide_blond
kelso…yeah…..and was a playboy club bunny..if i remember correctly… she was quite the naughty minx in her day! lol
August 30, 2007 at 5:03 pm
nullp0inter
Why must the bidding always be evil?
August 31, 2007 at 11:18 am
suicide_blond
null…thats the kind of girl i am.. sometimes.. i use my powers for good..other times…not so much..
xoxo
September 4, 2007 at 5:30 pm
ListenToLeon
Impressive! Hooker heels are the shit!
Except when they’re on actual hookers…On pretty women who just happen to be wearing hooker attire, it kicks ass!
September 27, 2007 at 3:45 pm
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