sugarbabies…

soaking a heart in two bottles of prime argentinian red wine… doesnt make breaking it… any easier…

when he told me he had lied to me..

i just laughed..

“whatever…… you’re not the first guy to lie to me… as a matter of fact, i dont even think this would be the first time YOU have lied to me…. so just spit it out…”

Then i noticed he was really serious and i thought…oh shit… here we go…

“remember when i told you i really cared about you”…. he started …..

now i see where this is going..and its gonna be a train wreck.. and there is nothing i can do to stop it…. why the hell didnt ANYBODY ask me to do ANYTHING….on monday night so i wouldnt have gotten myself into this shit…..

damn.. damn..damn..

Im looking around…

jean claude had told him not to order a second bottle of a wine that good…..and i realize… too late… how right that had been.

jeeeezuz… now im desperately giving jean claude the “i need coffee and a cab signal”…

but he’s not gonna let me get away that easy…..and he keeps talking…..even though ive pretty much made it clear…. that…

i dont want to hear what he wants to say…

“look sugar pie… you’ve had too much of that stuff (nodding at the wine bottle) for me to take anything you say seriously”…

he keeps going ..insisting that the wine is just what he needed.. and that he had planned to play the evening all cool and aloof…but he’s leaving town in the morning and doesnt want to go without having this conversation…..

because… depending on how it goes..

he may not come back to DC…until he absolutely has to…

jeeezuz… men boys can be dramatic…

i try to change the subject and tell him i know of an emerging artist that would looove the opportunity to paint a mural on the side of one of his buildings…

he waves his hand… he can paint them all…(just clear it with the city..so they dont paint over it …and then send me a bill….) ok …so something good might come of the night…

jean claude brings the coffee…espresso…. a double shot…but i dont need it…..im perfectly sober now…

i push it across the table… if he is drinking he cant talk…right??

not so.. he downs it like a shot…

great.. two bottles of liquid courage followed by a double shot of i can do this allll night…. im an idiot…

The black caucus is in town… a young lobbyist works up his nerve and makes his way over from the bar…..relief sweeps in.. but.. ummm…nope…..

he sends the kid back to the bar… saying….we are in the middle of something serious…

damn… damn… damn…..

i give the youngster the “f-ing help me out here!!” face…

but typical dc douchy lobbyist….hes not gonna step in on a power player…..just to help a girl…

the kid disappeared…

now hes looking all serious again…… he says he only comes to dc these days to see me…

…. this is kinda shocking because… the fucker fella hasnt even called me in months… i just got an afternoon text message that said…

can you meet me at Ruths Chris 7pm??

it keeps going …and well..

they spill out.. he says he didnt want to do it like this ..but he is gonna anyway…

and out they come… those scary three words …. the ones that i cant say for sure which is scarier

saying them….

or hearing them???

allll i know is…..

i cant even type them…

and tuff as i am…

i dont want to watch anyone cough up the bloody mess commonly referred to as a heart…

and then have to choke it down again…

….they just dont make enough argentinian red to make that palatable….

its even harder if it someone you like..

someone you wish the best for..

someone you know you are NOT the right person for….

someone who wants you to spend the winter with him on his fancy yacht….anchored off a sunny beach….

but….truthfully….i was only there because the guy i had wanted to have dinner with….hadnt called…. isnt it always like that???

i did the only thing i could…

i kissed him on the cheek….

and walked away….

i probably would have run..but..umm….these shoes realllly are five freaking inches tall

maybe…..

if he had better taste in music…. he might have listened to some Tom Waits….

and might have known that girls like me…

really any girl in these shoes

is just an open invitation …

to the blues…

xoxo

Advertisements