oh sugarbabies…
its not easy keeping sex on wheels sexy…or on wheels for that matter…. seems she likes her tires like i like my shoes…expensive and italian…and also like me… she wears em out quick…as in …i just put tires on her in November…yes sugarbabies… thats right…its not complicated “delegate math”….barely five months… cause evidently expensive high performance tires….like expensive high platform stilettos… are NOT in any sense of the word…practical…
and i wouldnt have it any other way….
sooo….. i dropped sex on wheels off at the auto repair shop dayspa….and handed the keys over to a the professional auto fixer dude anxious pimply faced boy…as he took the keys i apologized for how dirty she was…i know i know like me…. you kids are awful…he smiled and said he had seen dirtier…which kinda cracked me up ..cause i can assure you…. im prob the dirtiest thing that that poor kid will EVER SEE….. but whats a girl to do..i smiled coyly…batted my eyelashes and left them alone…a few hours later… i picked her up…
- new tires
- oil changed (im leaving the lube job joke to uncle keith…hes better at them than me…but i do want to remind him that her engine IS in the REAR)
- and freshly washed and waxed…. (inset your own joke here…some of them are just too easy….i cant do ALLLL the work for y’all)
and i swear… after an afternoon with sex on wheels… when i pulled out ( its like christmas here for uncle keith today) of there….it seemed to me… that the kid… had weee bit of swagger…i whispered to sex on wheels….
SUGAR…our job here is done….
xoxo
13 comments
March 7, 2008 at 2:21 pm
rothko
Damn. What are you doing on those tires, anyway? 0-60 under 5 doesn’t mean you have to do it that way every time. The Pirelli’s were a good choice. Hoshi really likes hers.
they discourage me from cruising round 95mph (blond note: thats the roads name not the speed limit apparently) so the only “legal” fun i can have is getting up to 65 as fast as possible…xoxo
March 7, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Uncle Keith
Drive in the rear, eh? A classic approach has an appeal.
Did you notice if his skin had cleared up after he had finished? Freshly waxed are we?
March 7, 2008 at 3:18 pm
homeimprovementninja
Your post reminded me of when someone sees a dirty car and uses their finger to write something like “I wish my wife was this dirty”. In your case, you are 😉
Glad you and she are feeling up to your old selves again.
dirty as i wanna be.. and yep…we are up to our old trix again! xoxo
March 7, 2008 at 5:37 pm
Lemmonex
Those boys at the repair shops never live up to the fantasies.
March 8, 2008 at 1:40 am
wildbill
Love the Post! Tell me, Did you ever have the tires Rotated so they would wear evenly? Don’t tell me you are’t familar with having several pair of delicious Manolo Blanacs ? so you can switch between them. Same with sex-on-wheels. Each tire is subjected to different loads and stresses, depending on it’s location. by rotating them approx. every 5-6,000 miles you spread the wear evenly so your baby’s tires will last longer! Just Sayin’…
yep..ive heard of that rotating thing…but alas…she doesnt wear the same size in the front and the back..and ive had porsche mechanics BEG me not to switch side to to side… so that doesnt work…
xoxo
March 8, 2008 at 10:50 am
ma
SB, I’m glad that sex on wheels is doing okay. She’s dreamy.
welll…yeah and sometimes.. nightmarish… like when they give me the bill… xoxo
March 10, 2008 at 9:02 am
Hammer
Suicide Blonde’s car was dirty and dry,
So she had it cleaned and lubed – oh my!
And though questions remained,
On how the seats got stained,
The theories brought a tear to the eye.
youre not playing fair..you KNOW i crush on poets …xoxo
March 10, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Jen
Why is it that car maintenance brings out the dirty boys? I’m just wondering. I know that even my best friend’s Vegan Hippie son had to make a joke about my failing muffler.
“Are you always this loud?”
Not missing a beat, I replied, “Only with the right man”. It’s fun to watch a twenty-five year old blush.
I hope your tires last longer this time.
“only with the right man”!!!! OMG… hes prob STILL blushing!!! xoxo
March 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm
JMM
Great read. Funny my car recently died on me and needed a new alternator, I guess it just needed something new to bring it back to life. thanks for the passes, always nice to get out of suburbia, hopefully you’ll be around this weekend, to watch the puck drop.
enjoy…and indeed i might be! xoxo
March 13, 2008 at 12:41 am
rabbit
If I could make love to a car, it would be a 1969 Ferrari.
i have it on good authority that 69 is a good year…
your story about the origins of sb is coming…i swear..xoxo
March 14, 2008 at 12:00 am
wildbillthePirate
You have different sized wheels front and back? Did sex on wheels come like that or is that your mod? and No if that is true, then scratch the whole rotation thing- you REALLY don’t want to switch sides only- reverses what is very likely directional tread and will cause premature failure (read blowout at speed) Neither you nor your car wants to be wrapped around a tree. You might want to look into having one size for all four wheels- no wonder she’s eating them!
the only mod i made was to add an ipod adapter…. otherwise she is in original condition…. she came that way ..and ive def had other performance cars that were the same way…dif sized tires on the front and back… kinda sucks cause you cant keep a spare… but like i said….there is NOTHING practical about sex on wheels….
xoxo
March 16, 2008 at 3:58 am
Beaverboosh
Hey girl, glad your keeping your equipment in good nick!
March 17, 2008 at 11:35 am
eleanorstrousers
Somehow it’s so much harder to be a sex kitten on the bus…. glad the baby is back in tip-top shape.