sugarbabies!!!!! OMG we have sooo much to catch up on!!!!…
let me seee…. where to start????
should i start with…. tracing a little droplet of sweat down the spine of a pretty brazilian stripper with my pinky…while she was on stage…. ah yes….that night ended with an extra hundred bucks tucked neatly in the bra of my ample bosomed girlfriend….a trip to the ER at GW….where the detectives gave me and my bitchin Bestsy Johnson Tiger Fur Coat and 5 inch platform stilettos one of those up and down looks…pulled out their little notebooks and pencils (little pencils..hehehe) …and started the “witness interview” with …”Soooo you work at <insert name of strip club>” to which i responded..”could we hurry this up….i wanna be gone when his wife shows up”…
OR….
should i skip to a party with the beautiful people of dc…. i know… i know…. we dont realllly have beautiful people…but nonetheless…. every LA Wannabe and LNS popped collar in town made their way to ….wait for it…SHAW… to a slightly shady…..you know i looove that about a place….. former garage….now…. a trendy LA-ish lounge….. The Space….
OR…
maybe you wanna hear about …boys… the latest crop….
the good looking older man….who lives close by and cant believe he hasnt run into me before…he has potential… im pretty sure he was on a date when he slid me his card…. ummm suave…but he was soo cute i can prob forgive it….stay tuned…
the tooo young for me hot body…..that …. i teased all night…just cause… well…i was bored
the rockstar who wants to celebrate something…he’ll tell me when he sees me…. great…with my luck..he is pregnant…
the pretty boy from rio..who thought sofa meant sex…and got pouty when i handed him a blanket and a pillow… dude… SOFA…means SOFA….. i would never fault a boy for trying …but NO …still means NO… and when it comes to boys…pouting…..it just isnt sexy…. take it somewhere else…
OR
maybe…you have a fetish…. like mine….and you want to start with the new spring shoes! the Christian Louboutins that look like they will be my faves of the season…
they have already turned a few heads on the street (i even caught a certain good looking older man sneak a subtle double take) —- really they are smoking…they even got the approval of the gay cowboys….who gave me special permission to two-step on their dance floor in them…even though they are not cowboy boots…. just trust me … it was a high honor…. now if only i could two-step…
OR
maybe the TWO separate hospitals not including the GW ER incident…. that housed friends the last two weeks for unrelated but serious medical crap…that necessitated the sending of hi end flowers with cards that read….
just so you know…the mandarin oriental is less expensive AND has better linens….xoxo
OR
maybe the time when a freaking amazon lesbian accused my friend of …get this….i couldnt make this up… Biting her Finger….. oh sweet jjjjeeeeebus…… when the cops showed up …it happened to be a 1D officer i know pretty well… and the amazon lesbian went to jail! OMG….. the fun never stops…..
OR
maybe you just want to hear that it is officially that time of year…and i am once again… running around this town topless…and i have a wee bit sunburn to prove it….
xoxo
17 comments
April 13, 2008 at 5:25 pm
vvk
Drive your little topless self over to Columbia Heights more often… I wouldn’t mind the show. 😛
no prob sugar..between giant and target…its almost like visiting the burbs over there…im jealous…xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 6:30 pm
legallyheidi
incredible. i so live vicariously through you. even in my single days i didn’t have that much fun!
lol..when you wear false eyelashes and five inch heels teh fun finds you sugar!!! xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 6:46 pm
Food Rockz Man
Tease . . . tease . . . tease! We wanna hear about it all, with much more lurid detail. Don’t leave us hangin like this . . . like we all just got sent to the sofa with the pretty boy from rio!
YOU and your food porn..calling ME a tease..thats the pot calling the kettle black!!!xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 7:19 pm
ma
You are non stop fun, lady. And the Louboutins are HOT.
aww..your pretty fun yourself… xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 7:33 pm
Uncle Keith
Now I’m getting jealous.
mission accomplished! xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 10:21 pm
wildbillthePirate
to which i responded..”could we hurry this up….i wanna be gone when her husband shows up”…
That was the Only thing I could also have said and meant it…
The shoes are Killer!
Looking forward to spring sex kitten pics showing (some ) of the first sunburn of the season- Please don’t be too much of a sun-worshipper: it’s really bad for your skin!
I heart Danger Girrrrl/ SB!
aww thanks…no worries love..i usually have my sunscreen..but i was a wee bit over anxious and forgot….and oh yeah i heart pirates!!! xoxo
April 13, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Mr. T in DC
Great post, your continued adventures do make for nice reading. This has been a big weekend for hospital visits, unfortunately! 🙂
April 14, 2008 at 9:56 am
I-66
Sofa can too mean sex.
…with yourself.
touche’….xoxo
April 14, 2008 at 10:28 am
rothko
Those shoes look great for two-steppin’ … across a cowboy’s heart.
awww…shucks..i wish id thought of that line! xoxo
April 14, 2008 at 3:12 pm
lucesco
I absolutely covet the shoes. They are perfection.
you sugr..have incredibly good taste!
xoxo
April 14, 2008 at 11:14 pm
Jen
Um, wow. Just wow. Your life is…busy. And I’m totally envious of THAT kind of busy.
I LURRRRVE those shoes. Is there a linky for them?
of course love… try here… but seriously..they are embarrassingly expensive..dont tell..xoxo!!
April 15, 2008 at 2:38 am
ListenToLeon
I went to The Space once…They had this beautiful bartender working that night. I wonder if she’s still there…
I’m laughing at the couch meaning sex thing. That guy needs to learn that it’s better to just cut your losses rather than beg in the hopes that you’ll get some pity pussy…lol
yep..the staff was super and good looking….the space is great….the crowd…like any dc club depends on the night…..
yeah right…pouting… just means he’ll NEVER get it..
April 15, 2008 at 12:28 pm
kerrie
I have framed that business card, btw. It’s a funny thing, getting paid to keep your clothes ON.
i blew it up poster sized and hung it in the break room at the office.lol..
xoxo
April 15, 2008 at 10:22 pm
pqresident
don’t forget to keep the Louboutins out of the rain!
oooh!! lol..i completly forgot about “breaking them in” traipsing about chinatown after hours in search of a decent dessert!!!!lol..thanks…and yes…. rain + new louboutins = sad sex kitten
xoxo
April 16, 2008 at 12:25 am
Hammer
Worse than ending sentences with prepositions,
Is ending strip club night with depositions.
“I don’t work there,” the Blonde said, “So don’t even start.”
“Now can we please hurry this up? I must rapidly depart.”
There was talk of boys, and like Goldilocks tasting porridge,
The Blonde wondered whose number was worth storage.
This one’s a bit young, this one’s a bit old,
The rocker is preggers and the Brazilian’s too bold.
Now although I admit I don’t know much about shoes,
I find it hard to believe you can mix those heels with booze.
(Oh I’m sure they get noticed and I’m sure you’re flattered,
But one false two-step and across the floor you’re splattered.)
Perhaps this is the time I should finally shut my mouth,
(I can’t help my yapping – I was raised in the South.)
‘Cuz God knows I’ve heard – in fact I’ve been warned
That hell hath no fury like a Blonde who’s been scorned.
April 18, 2008 at 3:29 am
Beaverboosh
Girl, effin hell, when you’ve got the gay cowboys with you, you’re rockin! Keep doin it large!
April 18, 2008 at 9:11 am
Ulysses
Those shoes’ll keep you above it all when your hopping from one shallow puddle to the next, but I’d remind you to slip ’em off when it’s time for swimming.