sugarbabies…

i’m pregnant….i know its the last thing you expected…me too….

Happy New Year

ok ok

im just messing with you…but realllly i do mean the happy new year thing.. and im wishing alll kinds of good (and naughty) things for you all in the new year..

i just talked to my Dr. and im pretty sure that the INSANE case of PMS that i’ve had for several weeks that caused me to cry uncontrollably for almost a week…awesomeness… is merely the result of the new pill she put me on..

“oh yeah thats a common side effect” …..she told me alll  casually…

like i hadnt spent the last few weeks believing myself to be completely loosing my grip …doing alll i could to avoid friends and parties…and… generally feeling like a blonder ann sexton (with better shoes of course)….

fucking the hells??

bitch couldnt have mentioned that????????

i decided to hate her..but…..i suck at that sooo i just burst into tears…

to which she replied…

im calling the pharmacy now… new pills AND some valium…

see… now i heart her…

soo if the mood swings dont kill me.. ill be blaming my red eyes on the chlorine….. as i head down to sit on santas lap in the swanky hot tubs of miami..

you kids dont wait up

xoxo

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