sugarbabies…

for a long time the door at my country place was painted Hot Pink

i did it myself… on a hot summer day in just a  hanes wife beater t shirt … and panties  (one of the perks of country life…you dont HAVE to wear pants…)

and it was puuurfect… everyone always commented how “ME”  it was…I took it as a compliment… even on the occasions when i knew it was a backhanded one at best…

because

and this is important kids…

i didnt care… what anyone else thought  of it…. i loved it… i grinned every time i saw it come into view…and if you had asked me to name my favorite thing about that house that summer i would not have paused for  a moment…before laughing and saying …the hot pink pu$$y cat entrance….

eventually …. one of the handymen inadvertently painted the door gray…for reals…he painted my HOT PINK front door industrial gray….that was a colossal communication cluster …but whatever -thats another story

the point is…

i loved my hot pink door…

paint the town pink

i came by it naturally… or at least i felt like i did…when i was young my Granny lived in pink house… a crazily IMPRACTICAL…Victorian house on the Ocean… that was pink… i remember her coming home from a HOA meeting beaming proud of herself…for fooling the HOA into thinking her teensy pink paint chip was actually called “dusty taupe” …we danced on the porches while the house was painted… we loved it… with formal gardens everywhere… (in pots, of course,  you do KNOW how hard it is to grow vintage roses in sand!!!) and well… Grandaddy… he just shook his head… and said…

whatever makes my girls happy…

and he meant it… of course… he took quite a ribbing at the clubhouse and the golf course… but he didnt care… he would just shrug his shoulders and say ….as long as his his girls were happy and that he knew if there was ever an emergency…the fire dept KNEW where the PINK house was in the sea of beigey beigey  coastal architectural  …

he didnt care either… and lately  it may or may not have been pointed out to me by a good friend that maybe  i have….

under (what i like to think was) the guise of graciousness…

cared a bit tooo much about what some people think…

i have made excuses for people when they hurt my feelings

when they hurt my friends

when they were rude

i accepted half hearted apologies that i shouldnt have….

and well…

if 2009 has been about anything sugarbabies…its been about CHANGE and that means me too…i think i should paint more stuff pink…

im gonna try much harder  to pay much more attention to the people in my life who deserve it…and god knows they have been patient with me… and much less attention to those that dont…

because i realize that sooo many folks in my life have let me paint their proverbial houses pink….

they have taken risks with me…

they have held their collective breathe for me…

they have wondered what the heck is she doing?

and why on earth is she doing it?

they have shaken their heads at me…. and they have said

“whatever makes you happy”

and they have meant it…

and to all of them i am sooo thankful…

and to the others…

i’m afraid i just dont have the time anymore…

youre on your own…

its kinda like my great aunt fern always said...

sugar…youre gonna  reap what you sow…

and there is no way that your sour grapes are my fault…

or my problem any more….

xoxo

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