sugarbaby…….

seriously…

you should know some things about me…

im prob not the person you think i am…

im not particularly nice… im selfish… i know that about myself… im ok with it…

being with me wont make you happy… youre responsible for your own happiness..

i wont let you fix shit in my life either…except maybe breakfast

i keep secrets…its my life… if i wanna share it… i will…but…dont count on it…

i dont open up easily…

no thats not it… i just dont open up… dont take it personally

im fiercely protective of my privacy…my family… my work…and my friends…

i wont tell you anything about them

i probably wont share them with you…ever…

i’ll happily pay for the drinks …the dinners…the tickets…

but i want you leave before the sun comes up…

unless…youre making me breakfast … and feeding it to me…

then i want you to leave after you clean the kitchen…

i like an unreasonable number of artificial sweeteners in my coffee… and i dont care what you think about that…

if you are allowed to drive my car…i will tell you…if i didnt give you the key…you are not allowed to drive it….dont act like you dont know this…and if you cant afford to replace her (and you cant) then dont help yourself to the spare key…

im not gonna hide my vibrator …i dont care what you think about that either

im not gonna invite you to the country house… its an escape … from people… like you…

if its late and you took the metro… i dont care how you get home… call a cab…from the curb…

dont assume things about me… it makes you look  bourgeois and boring

im ok with second chances…third ones even…shit happens i get it… but after that…i simply wont answer the phone……ever

dont mistake kindness for weakness… im tougher than i look…im probably tougher than you…

i get bored easily…

i wont co-sign anything for you….or your sister…or your drummer

in all likelihood i will never call you….i dont care that you think thats unreasonable

i wont fight with you …and …raising your voice wont get you anywhere…

i probably wont go to your office party… or take you backstage with me….

i wont talk to your mom on the phone…

i wont invite you on business trips….

i wont invite you on pleasure trips with my friends/family….

i wont ask questions -if i dont want to know the answer ….wait  let me say that again…its important so pay attention…. i wont ask questions -if i dont want to know the answer … you should do the same….

im not a therapist…or a priest….i dont want you to  confess your shit to me…

im friends with almost alll of my ex’s and in regular contact with them… deal with it…

soooooo…sugar you seem like a nice guy….

and

maybe meridith brooks said it best….

i do not envy you… im a little bit of everything all rolled into one…

im a bitch im a lover im a child im a mother im sinner im a saint… and i do not feel ashamed…im your hell im your dream …i am nothing in between…

and you wouldnt want it any other way….

and oh yeah..

i wont go through this list again…

even though it will change…. constantly…

sooo that whole “getting to know me” thing… yeah …well good luck with that…

xoxo

Advertisements