sugarbabies..

i may have caught the new driver giving me a not so subtle up / down look…. as i came out the front door… i took it to mean that my outfit was working… which was good as it was one of those tooo expensive numbers from amsterdam (ifyaknowwhatimean) id spent some extra time on my makeup… the liner was dark..and deep….the shadow was contoured… and the false eyelashes were blended into my own with an extra coat of glossy mascara…  and maybe special contact lenses… from a not quite legal malaysian website that is popular with the anime freaks… i slid into the back seat of the town car… and caught my reflection in the rear view mirror…not to shabby… i glam up pretty good… the driver confirmed the address..and we headed out into a steamy night of belgian industrial/sexcentric /techno music….with a dash of chi-town psychedelic surf rock go-go*…

and while this post could be alll about the club and the bands and the music and the boys and the drinks and the dancing and the hair pulling and the spanking and the monsters and the sweating and the friends…and the dj…et all…

its not…

its about what happened when i got home…..

when i pulled the false lashes off and tucked them back into their case for next time… i cautiously extracted the contacts and stored them back in their little glass jars…i opened a box of expensive makeup remover pads…and gently swept the shadow off my eyes….i lathered my face with a gentle soap that is formulated for sensitive skin… and splashed with warm water to rinse …and as i stood up… i realized something… i like my face…my clean un made up face… and while contemporary society would have us all think that women everywhere are deathly afraid of aging… i realized i dont think i am….. and that the older i get the more comfortable i am with myself ….and how in the last few years i wear less and less makeup on a daily basis…oh dont get me wrong i like glam-ing up probably more than the next girl…its just that i think these days im a lot more apt to get on a plane with just some powder /mascara/ and lip gloss……i wrestled with this for a few moments…until i realized… that glamour… cant be defined by the amt of make up you wear…i mean you can be glamorous completely naked…right? and for this moment it feels… fresh unpretentious straightforward candid and … more and more like me…

ok ok ill prob write about the rest of the stuff later…but for today…im celebrating me…and dont you kids worry…my makeup may be subtle..it doesnt mean i am..

happy birthday ….to me…

xoxo

*ed note: damn i love my life…..

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