sometimes i meet someone that i reallly wanna to tell you about ….

and there is this nano second before i realize that i cant…

in that flash…youre still here

and im gonna call you and tell you that i met a this guy…..

or that i have a flat tire and i could use a rescue…

but even before i finish the thought…

i know ive made a mistake…again…

and i know what you would say…

so i have the conversation…our conversation …

by myself…

and i get mad at you…. again…

for leaving me here…for leaving all of us…

today i called your dad…

i gotta be honest he sounds older… tired…

but he seemed happy to hear from me…and i told him some of the things i would have told you…

i left out most of the sexy stuff 😉

and while we talked all i could think of was how much a hug can be worth…

and how i wished i could hug him… and that we could hug you…

and yeah i know you would never have  done anything different…

but i wish youd been more selfish…

or that youd thought about me… or your dad… or any of us….i mean you didnt have to run toward the danger every single time….

but then before i even finish that thought i know im wrong… again…

and that anything else wouldnt have been you..

and im proud of you…

and i hope i never stop missing you…

and i know you didnt realllly leave me

cause i can hear you telling me to write more about the sex… and candy ….and to stop being a whiny beeeotch… and stop eating at ihop so much for christ sake your gonna blow up…and to check the rear view BEFORE you push the gas pedal like that…

ok ok  i get it….

i miss you

…sugarbaby…

rest in peace

xoxo

~If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won’t cry, I won’t cry, no I won’t shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me~   Ben E King

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