as soon as the hostess walked away…. i turned the table sideways…

im notoriously soft-spoken… and some of the things i wanted to say … were gonna be hard enough to whisper…

much less shout across the long side of the table….

swanky asian fusion lavender margarita places dont usually last very long in this town.. and there seems to be a critical mass of them popping up all over the neighborhood these days…. ugh…but … what the hell….. housemade tonic… some edamame … an interesting salmon/strawberry roll.. a decent spicy tuna… combined to mostly make up for the  pretentious  menu and the way too cheery server (can you say recreational ritalin???)….

but nobody wanders over to this corner of the internet  for restaurant reviews…

i sank back into the white leather banquette…  watched folks all around us tune into their pdas…. tune out their companions… the glow of iphones/blackberries competed with the flickering candlelight… and i waited for the booze to kick in…(for the record it takes lavender margaritas waay too long to kick in) twice i reached for his gin and tonic…it just looked like my drink...soooo much more than the silly frothy thing i had ordered…

i was doing a lot of that lately…you know

doing things i dont usually do….

i slept on an air mattress for christ sake…

i dont know if its him…or if its me…

maybe its just timing…

maybe kismet…

maybe its just a little bit surprising how long of a metaphoric and/or literal  road trip i can ride along with when there is dwight yoakam AND dr dre on the ipod…

but after several  lavender margaritas and a few vodka tonics and maybe i even pounded some straight diet mt dew (which btw doesnt do anything other than to keep you awake all night)…… i told him…

….that i was scared….

and wow it can be kinda scary to say that….who knew?

and maybe instead of running (like a sane person ) ….he stayed…

ummmmm holy shit…

ok now what do i do?

xoxo

ps…  dont say suck his dick…cause that may well be  what got me into this mess…

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