You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Bitches’ category.

party safe tonight kids!

party safe tonight kids!

…insomnia is a bigger bitch than me…

and she works a number on your skin your hair your overall disposition…and … i have had a hard go of it lately ….all round… from all sides work/home/friends/lovers….just really fu(like every  cliché you ever heard) to music….and while nobody sings the blues like muddy and everybody knows i love me some johnny cash…sad twangy county music isn’t always the road i choose…sometimes i like it a little darker…sometimes i wanna hear about lovers and ledges and about knowing what i ought to do but doing wrong anyway.. … and when that’s the case i dig out the cd this lil goth band from way back … Tapping the Vein…whose album The Damage has been spot on for me a few times over the years…this past week it has been blaring from my car stereo…. these are the two getting the heaviest rotation right now…

related: pretty sure  some folks in my garage hate me right now…


Dear google+

thanks for threatening to suspend allll of my google services because you dont like my name…

if Gweneth Paltrow can name her daughter Apple (bet you wouldnt want that to catch on) and Jason Lee  can name his kid Pilot Inspektor … and i worked with a kid named An2mar (with the number 2 for fucks sake)… then who are you to say i cant be SuicideBlond? … my LinkedIn profile  is suicide blond, my Facebook page is suicide blond, my Twitter is @suicideblond my About.Me page is suicide_blond….my entire online presence is suicide_blond…. i have a credit card here from Chase Manhattan with the name suicide blond on it…my New Yorker magazine subscription comes to suicide_blond ….Klout sends perks to Suicide Blond pretty regularly (thanks kids!!) so maybe its not just my “online presence”….maybe the lines between IRL and Online are fuzzy…

but really…whats it to you and why is my name any of your business??? What name would satisfy you?  the name on my birth certificate or the name my mother calls me, or maybe the name on my diploma or perhaps my confirmation name according to the catholic church….none of those are the same….

all of them are perfectly legitimate…

oh and thanks (i guess) for mentioning that i could still use Gmail… suicide_blond has been around since before Gmail existed… she doesnt take well to bullies and she still uses Yahoo…

...fml ..ive just referred to myself in the 3rd person…

but all of that aside…

i deleted my google+ account ages ago… google+ sucks…you have bigger problems than what name i answer to…and trust me… suicide_blond is one of the nicer ones….

xoxo

via imgur.com

dont know what it says about me… but my first thought when i saw this pic was…

wow a ford…in liberia… yo detroit in the house….

also this song was on….

Well I’m a runnin’ down the road try’n to loosen my load
I’ve got seven women on my mind
Four that want to own me, two that want to stone me
One says she’s a friend of mine
Take it easy, take it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
Don’t even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand, and take it easy
Well, I’m a standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona
Such a fine sight to see
It’s a girl my Lord in a flat-bed Ford
Slowin’ down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don’t say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me
We may lose and we may win, though we will never be here again
So open up I’m climbin’ in, so take it easy
Well, I’m a runnin’ down the road tryin’ to loosen my load
Got a world of trouble on my mind
Lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my cover, she’s so hard to find
Take it easy, take it easy
Don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy
Come on baby, don’t say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me

and then i went to put the turkey in the oven… and thought

damn…i have a lot to be thankful for…

happy holidays sugarbabies…

xoxo

fuck them….

the ones who say you cant or you shouldn’t…

you’re too old or too fat or too short or too high maintenance

too emo…

too expensive… too cheap … too trusting…

that the men you date are too old or too young…

your hair is too big…

the ones who like to say when and where and how you should be doing it **newsflash** they dont know shit about how you should be doing anything…

the ones who think your style is too flamboyant or your shoes are too tall or your dog is too small

your relationships are too messy

your life is too chaotic

your job is too risky

your car is too ostentatious… your music is too twangy…or your boots are too pointy

the ones who think you stay out too late or go to bed too early …you’re drinking too much or not drinking enough…

dont waste another minute with them…

i dont care if they are neighbors, newbies, lovers, laborers, senators, prisoners or playboys… followers friends or family…

not another moment…

if im too much blond for you…i dont have time for you…

xoxo

ps.. if you want/need engraved stationery to tell em just how you feel… Mr Harrington will happily oblige you here...

first..your boyfriend doesn’t think i’m a bitch… you do… its not the same… but don’t worry… i TOLD him i’m a bitch… he took it as a challenge… your boyfriend is a little bit competitive and likes a bit of a challenge… and i’ve got that over you… cause he already KNOWS he can have you … and hes bored with your tory burch ballerina flats…and diaper bag of a purse… sorry love…  milquetoast isn’t sexy…and adding a bit of spice doesn’t make me a bitch..it makes me smart…

also…

…your boyfriend doesn’t like  drama… he doesn’t want to fight… he does like sex… he likes  angry sex and make up sex and morning sex and two am after the club sex and lets watch a movie in bed sex and before sunday brunch sex and during sunday brunch sex and i had a long day at work sex and gee your hair smells terrific sex and mmmm you look good in that dress take it off sex…

i’m not saying its just sex… but there is a lot to be said for keeping things…sexy…

via: mmrpg.net

because

i may be a spoiled…slightly ocd…passive aggressive bitch with daddy issues who drives too fast…cant park for shit…drinks too often…swears too much… carries around a ridiculously tiny dog (also a certified bitch)…eats carbs …stays out late on school nights…pouts…cant keep her fridge stocked with more than mixers… shameless flirt… in slutty shoes…but….

at my core…

i’m a really positive person….and

in a town full of spin doctors… trained to find and concentrate on the negative …that’s sexy…or at least your boyfriend thought it was ;-)…

xoxo

sugarbabies…

im not usually one to discuss what happens in the loo…

ok ok except maybe the time… my knickers tried to kill me

but today… well…

this little old lady…was giving me a terribly stony glare… so hard TWSS {.….sorry its an addiction} that for a split second i felt like maybe i looked like a hooker… which is not uncommon… but im usually prepared for folks to stare when i turn it out… but… a quick glance  in the mirror confirmed … i was in a perfectly respectable pair of skinny jeans/black sweater/too tall shoes..but they were sort of discreet-ish… well as discreet as 5″ italian platforms can be

she continued to just stare…so i kinda widened my eyes in that… “you got something to say?” way and smiled..

to which she responded…

“you get dressed in the dark?”

… i just kinda stared at her wondering what she was talking about..which apparently disgusted her… sooo… she turned to leave… when she got the door… she turned back to me

“your sweater is inside out…” and then … she added

“im only telling you cause there are some real fine catches out there…..and you look like you could use a man”

…wow… life…

you are not messing around these days are you?

…i mean i dont even know what to do with that…

xoxo

 

 

“glory glory hallelujah
right back atcha
hope that’ll do ya
don’t look at me like theres something I shouldn’t a’said
just cause that old bird’s dead”

~ james mcmurtry 60 acres

sugarbaby…….

seriously…

you should know some things about me…

im prob not the person you think i am…

im not particularly nice… im selfish… i know that about myself… im ok with it…

being with me wont make you happy… youre responsible for your own happiness..

i wont let you fix shit in my life either…except maybe breakfast

i keep secrets…its my life… if i wanna share it… i will…but…dont count on it…

i dont open up easily…

no thats not it… i just dont open up… dont take it personally

im fiercely protective of my privacy…my family… my work…and my friends…

i wont tell you anything about them

i probably wont share them with you…ever…

i’ll happily pay for the drinks …the dinners…the tickets…

but i want you leave before the sun comes up…

unless…youre making me breakfast … and feeding it to me…

then i want you to leave after you clean the kitchen…

i like an unreasonable number of artificial sweeteners in my coffee… and i dont care what you think about that…

if you are allowed to drive my car…i will tell you…if i didnt give you the key…you are not allowed to drive it….dont act like you dont know this…and if you cant afford to replace her (and you cant) then dont help yourself to the spare key…

im not gonna hide my vibrator …i dont care what you think about that either

im not gonna invite you to the country house… its an escape … from people… like you…

if its late and you took the metro… i dont care how you get home… call a cab…from the curb…

dont assume things about me… it makes you look  bourgeois and boring

im ok with second chances…third ones even…shit happens i get it… but after that…i simply wont answer the phone……ever

dont mistake kindness for weakness… im tougher than i look…im probably tougher than you…

i get bored easily…

i wont co-sign anything for you….or your sister…or your drummer

in all likelihood i will never call you….i dont care that you think thats unreasonable

i wont fight with you …and …raising your voice wont get you anywhere…

i probably wont go to your office party… or take you backstage with me….

i wont talk to your mom on the phone…

i wont invite you on business trips….

i wont invite you on pleasure trips with my friends/family….

i wont ask questions -if i dont want to know the answer ….wait  let me say that again…its important so pay attention…. i wont ask questions -if i dont want to know the answer … you should do the same….

im not a therapist…or a priest….i dont want you to  confess your shit to me…

im friends with almost alll of my ex’s and in regular contact with them… deal with it…

soooooo…sugar you seem like a nice guy….

and

maybe meridith brooks said it best….

i do not envy you… im a little bit of everything all rolled into one…

im a bitch im a lover im a child im a mother im sinner im a saint… and i do not feel ashamed…im your hell im your dream …i am nothing in between…

and you wouldnt want it any other way….

and oh yeah..

i wont go through this list again…

even though it will change…. constantly…

sooo that whole “getting to know me” thing… yeah …well good luck with that…

xoxo

oh sugrbabies!! have you been behaving yourselves??? i thought not… me either… crazy right?? … who would have thought id be rain soaked and cold on a friday afternoon in June… when im in DC? the gods must be crazy…

speaking of…

lets see…

i know you want the goods….soo… lets see what i ve got for you….

the actor… well… between our schedules… we’ve barely had a chance to see each other…. oh well… maybe when the run is over we will get a chance to make up for lost time…on a beach… in Cali…fingers crossed… reservations made…

i know iknow iknow..you are dying to hear about “the party” the one with the good invite…but you’ll have to wait…sorry to be a tease but…no time to write it all down just yet…but … it wasnt disappointing! if for no other reason than the unexpected celeb factor…oh my…

the latest obsession im totallllly in love with these… someone order them for me …pretty please!

the entertainment lawyer… he lives in NYC… we met in TX …our first date was in LA… seems like he can keep up…but i have to ask myself….can i? seriously…all this stuff has me feeling like a week in my own bed with some netflix…would soooo be in order right about now…

the roommate… welll i know what youre thinking… reallly?? a roomie?? for you?? no way! …but yes….i know i know… silly kids…shes great…you hardly know she is there…( i did make it very clear …she cant share my shoes) she doesn’t eat my food (i dont have any there anyway!) shes neat, quiet, doesnt care what is on the tv…doesnt drink my vodka…and yes shes a wee bit on the young side…and yes shes kind of a bitch… like me…and yes we totallllllly stop traffic when we are out on the street together….but as far as roomies go shes perfect…so… we are getting used to each other…her name is alice.

more soon …i promise…

xoxo

sugarbabies……. oh my…. i do hope YOU have been behaving yourselves…because…i surely havent…which i know …is the way you like it…

Now where to begin??????

maybe with the little piles of sawdust that the bed ground out of the hardwood floors from well.. you know…. …. boom chicka wah wah…. thats right… full on sawdust…yes..im a LUCKY bitch i know…. seriously ALMOST as good as the sawdust was the call a few days later from the housekeeper:

“suicide_blond i is calling you..cause you know… you must have the termites….do you want that i save the sawdust or just vacuum it up?? ok ok i get you those lil things that save the floor…*heavy sigh… while …i imagine her crossing herself , shaking her head and  quietly judging me”

or… maybe with how i sat cross legged on the upstairs sofa at busboys and poets sipping my 6th mimosa when my phone rang… hmmmm…. older rich guy who crushes too hard….wonder what he wants?… so i answer… yeah… um…hes totally calling from his beach house… because…

“im going through my expenses and i noticed there were NO SUICIDE BLOND charges this month…are you ok???”

seriously??? dude you called cause i HAVENT spent any of your money???  have you turned on the news??? do you even still have any money??? if you want to talk to me …just say so… then… i told him i couldnt go to dinner with him when he gets back to town…(all the while thinking of the sawdust under my bed)…. after alll of that….

he asked if i wanted anything from his “fleet” for the winter…you know… so i wont have to drive sex on wheels out in the snow… i told him that under NO circumstances would i drive the hummer…he laughed…. he offered the new mercedes… dude…. I KNOW that YOU DONT KNOW…and maybe if you did know more than just what you paid for it i would have time to go to dinner with you but thats another story… but the benz is rear wheel drive…same as sex on wheels… not good in the snow…but i agreed…cause…its HIS and id rather crash his car than mine ( i know call me a dirty selfish whore….just… pull my hair when you say it.)

so theres that…

you say bitch...like its a bad thing...

you say bitch...like its a bad thing...

or maybe we should talk about how i seem to have been struck by the Curse of the Venus Embrace

(yeah…its not some crazy ninja sex position..i wish it was….)

i know that even speaking of curses is bad luck …. and that the hoodoo associated with this particular curse is verrrrrrrrry strong….but …anything for you sugarbabies…as i wouldnt want any of YOU to fall prey….

i saw it….in the triple B and thought hmmm…5 BLADES OF GLORY…… heck i’ll be smooth as barry white….no boy will be able to resist…. alas….EVERY time i used the cursed thing… i ended up alone with my hitachi… on several occasions…i thought i had shaken the bad juju off that thing and that SURELY tonight would be the night…so i even used the exotic soaps from Turkey… and put on the fancy french lingerie…but… to no avail…as i said….the hoodoo is strong…i certainly would have tossed that $hit in the potomac but sugarbabies….. i spent thirty dollars on a pkg of blades…and thats a lot of cheese when youre in the middle of a global financial crisis… sooo…now that the economic downturn has begun to mess with my love life… $hit has got to give… although… in case you were wondering….

i am verrrrry smoooooth….

xoxo

suagarbabies…

“you have to wait here…YOU are NOT family”…. thats what the tiny hood rat at the front desk said to me…smacking her gum..her hip thrown out to one side her hand thrown up in a “talk to it” gesture…..

i shit you not…thats what she said….

as they wheeled my best friend of all time away from me… fast…they were throwing tubing and bags and grabbing rolling equipment..and i watched til they turned the corner…

for a little while i felt like i was wasnt completely helpless as i gave the intake nurse his insurance info and medical history…..guess they dont care WHO gives them the billing info…

then i paced… malcolm in the middle was on the overhead tv… and the only magazine was a dog eared year old copy of AARP …..but i couldnt focus enough to see the print anyway…

then after about 45 min… i was mad..

real mad …. i seethed when lunch was delivered from a local chinese place and they waved the delivery guy back to the nurses station….. they munched on egg rolls…while i wondered if my best friend was alive? cold? scared? dead?…. ok..i understand they dont want me in the dr’s way….hell i dont WANT To be in the dr’s way if they are doing something …but… umm…NOBODY can tell me whats going on???

they gossiped…they commented on his tattoos…. whispered that they recognized him…took a few calls on their cell phones from their boyfriends…i mean technically they werent allowed to have their cell phones…so a work around had been devised… when the ringers went off in their “storage area” they would go get them and then walk to the edge of the carpet to talk about …whatever…

i kept playing it over in my head….you are not family…you are not family….

what the hell do these people know about family???? they dont know him they dont know me..they certainly dont know about our “family”….they dont know:

that his parents are assholes and kicked him out of the house when he told them he was gay

that i moved in with him for several months a few years ago when he first got cancer…to take him back and forth to chemo and to care for him after the treatments left him a mess…

that he gets realllly scared at hospitals… i mean you really only have to go through cancer treatments once for hospitals to leave a bad taste in your mouth…three times… and well…. you’ll pretty much freak out when they try to put an iv in your arm too…

that when i needed it..he offered to let me live with him…rent free… for as long as i needed (seriously… isnt THAT family)

that we both leave our estates to each other in our wills…

that we have known each other since back when you could see a show at the bayou..the 9:30 club was downtown… the black cat was “that new place”…posuers was THE place to be…coke was cool… reallly…that long…

that if anything ever happened to me… thats who id want next to me at the hospital…waaaay before id want any of my “family”….

that we are “porn buddies“…

that we wear wedding bands on chains around our necks as symbols of our friendship and because if you are not married in this society ….everyone assumes you are missing something…we know better than that

i stood in the doorway to the nurses station….staring at them… clutching his shirt and wallet… i waited… and waited… i fought tears…

i twittered…

and then.. i did what i do best…

i got my way… the way i do best…

i spied a dr looking dude… and made eye contact… i gave him a half smile frowny face…

and yeah….he came over…

when he asked if i needed help…

i nodded and let a few of the tears roll down my cheeks… he put his arm around me …all i said was..

you have my best friend back there…and i just want to know if he is ok…..

he went and got me new tissues…. he checked on my friend… he escorted me past the hood rat… past the nurses station… past the trash can full of chinese take out boxes…

when i got to his room..we both broke down and cried…

the dr came to talk to me….explained that it was a good thing we got to the hospital soooo fast…(my friend chuckled from his bed about sex on wheels…MAYBE being worth alll the trouble she puts me through!) the dr. said that he could maybe go home tomorrow night…i told the dr i wasnt leaving…and she smiled.. and had the orderly move a more comfortable chair into the room….

sugarbabies… i realize…that the only thing harder than defining porn…might be defining FAMILY…

but i swear … the whole thing…. made me agonizingly aware of the magnitude of not allowing gay partners to marry…i know that gay couples go through this kind of thing often… and … its awful… i cant really imagine it…two hours and i was near crazy…

step back folks…it isnt about having two dudes or two chicks on the top of a cake…. it isnt just about having a “wedding” …..it isnt about what “your god” preaches…..its about being legally defined as family….. not having to explain to a 17 year old receptionist who cant even tie her shoes..(she was born in the age of velcro) … what FAMILY is… cause reallly… its none of her business…

xoxo

ps.. these folks have taken up the fight…. i support them ..i hope you will too…

oh sugarbabies….

it wasnt anything that 12 hours of sleep and a few mood leveling Grey Goose and Tonics… couldnt fix…. thanks for your well wishes… and….yes…everything is the color it should be now….

in an effort to lighten things up a bit…. well…

one of my fave bloggers…. decided that her life was more fun as a multiple choice quiz….. well i started thinking…and i decided that my life….is probably better as a comic… depending on well…..all kinds of crap…… maybe it will be a regular feature…

my life is better as a comic

special thanks to:

glenn barr whose images of Avengah and i forget the name of the other one and i cant find it online.. i stole..errr umm borrowed

HIN to whom i credit the phrase “eyelash jujitsu” or judo in this case…and whose birthday im ashamed to admit..i overlooked….i suck… i know….

blueseaglass…..who i cant believe found that hot pic of the bond girl on the Playboy cover from Nov 1965….which by the way….i scored a super good condition copy of off ebay for like 7 bucks shipping included!! and no kidding the cover is truly only HALF the fun….sooo…if youre in my bathroom… be sure to pick it up…the centerfold…..is freaking priceless

xoxo

oh sugarbabies…..

i’m in such a bitchy mood ..that i didnt even flirt smile at the cute new guy in my office building…nope i just sashayed by him straight to the fridge for my

fifth mountain dew-code red.. of the morning…

ok assholes..i know…. its not even eleven am…. and im not sure… but i think all that code red is the reason but my pee has turned a really pretty color of mint green… despite code red being …umm..red…. it was soo pretty that i thought was a new tidy bowl shade….but umm…no it wasnt… so….thats TMI right?

whatever….. i TOLD you i was feeling bitchy…i even told you not to read this post!!

sooo there is no reason you should still be reading…

youre such a freaking masochist

cause im just gonna bitch about how fucked up it is that NONE of my current projects are in the same TIME ZONE that i am in….

AND my throat is sore…

AND its raining out…

AND christ…did you see the state of the union???

AND i forgot to send my netflix back so i have to watch sucky cable tonight…

AND let me just warn you…im about to head home to bed…whatever the fuck you do…. DO NOT…be between me and that cozy sweet spot under the covers that i am heading for…ill run your ass over without even a wink…

AND if you have my number and you dare to call or text me…i will prob delete you forever from my life…

or …. turn off the phone ..which is pretty much the the same thing….

AND dont give me any of that …tomorrow is another day at Tara crap… ill claw your eyes out…

still here???

jeeezuzz… i love you.. thanks…i needed that……

xoxo

sugarbabies….

i just realized something about myself….

i dont go to the grocery store when i run out of groceries..

nope my cupboards can be pretty bare for weeks at at time….

i’ve got workarounds for that … last week i:

  • ordered enough pizza and soda pop for two days
  • ate an old box of raisins for dinner
  • stole a roll of toilet paper from the office
  • i have even been known to go on dinner dates with boys JUST to avoid going to Whole Foods….

nope…. i only go to the grocery store….. when i run out of…..

mixers…

some things a girl cant do without….

xoxo

ahhh sugarbabies….

its been ages since a porn post….. i suppose i just like to make y’all beg for em… so….well… by now…. youre all pretty familiar with my porn player troubles….if not… click here and then here ….sooooo

i convinced a boy… to attempt to return the porn player that “swallows” … to the 8th circle of hell….i mean..umm….. Best Buy…

once we get there…..he takes the porn player over to the geek squad desk… right at the front of the store…while i go to look for a replacement…

of course… he tells the geek squad a movie is stuck in the built in dvd player…

the geeks push some buttons..scratch their heads and push some more buttons….. right about the time i get to the tubo tax display… almost to the desk… one gifted geek pushes the right sequence of buttons…

and WHAM….

the “movie” starts playing….

of course when i say movie i mean hardcore fetish porn…this is not cheerleader porn….umm….no….its good old fashioned latex… whips and chains hardcore fetish stuff…* sigh* fun i know… i know!!!….

and it is playing…. at the front desk of the Geek Squad Station @ Best Buy…. yeah…

  • the geek who pushed the button…. his jaw kinda hit the counter
  • the “manager” of the counter ..well…. i thought she had a cardiac incident might easily have require full blown (he he he) medical attention
  • the gay dude in line..winked at me…while waving his hand over his heart…
  • the dude… i had convinced to return the tv with me……turned on his heels….. locked eyes with me and shouted……loudly…. …“suicide_blond…. you bitch … you’re the one who stole my dvd!!!

you know what can be more fun than watching freak porn????

watching white nerdy folks freak the fuck out….when porn starts playing in thier Best Buy lobby…..

OMG…. you just can not pay for entertainment like that….

xoxo

sugar babies… file this one under TMI.. despite her advancing age… it appears Sharon Stone still gets her period…

sharon stone

i stole borrowed this pic from a real blog..

Go Fug Yourself

xoxo

Hey Girl…

I know that you are new in town.. that you have just moved here from a podunky little town um.. Fairfax…. and that you are still trying to figure out how to be cool in the big city and all… so…i have cut you some slack up until now…

but … if you continue to bring attitude flash bitch at me when i say hello to you at the door or mailbox…

well..that may not be the best course of action for you … i mean be smart about this….

..i just mean … that it IS COOL to treat people well… and youd be well served to learn that lesson kinda quick.. in the big city… you need all the help you can get….i mean your blond..(not as blond as me obviously) but blond.. and women (especially blonds…and super especially… single in the city blonds) should support each other…

i dont have much patience for women that are too insecure to be friends friendly with other women… its just sooo umm.. looser...9th grade…

anyway… so…if you cant flash a smile or nod..maybe acknowledge me when i say good morning….. well…

maybe ill stop putting your mail by your door when Mr. H puts it in my box by mistake…

or maybe i’ll mention to Mr. H (you prob dont know his name…but he is our postman) that you are… you know ..not nice… i bet he would “forget” to deliver ANY of your mail…

he doesnt like you already –because youre new and it takes several years for him to like ANYONE-

and mind you, his delivery is only spotty when he DOES like you…

he naps in the alley most days..he doesnt care if you like it or not….he is gonna retire next year….sooo…..go ahead complain to his supervisor… he will only laugh at you…

if you cant lighten up:

i wont tell you where to put your trash so that you wont run into that nest of ratsstreet puppies” in the back alley….you know the ones by YOUR window… the ones that always seem to get into the unit YOU rented if ANYBODY leaves the back door ajar.. bet you dont realize that… YET

if you lock yourself out i wont be able to tell you where the spare key is hidden…

i wont ask Mo (the parking garage manager) to hook you up with a deal on the monthly fee…

i wont tell you which pizza place delivers to our building

or how to get into shows across the street for free..

i wont be able to tell the MAYOR … ( hes the homeless dude who kinda rules allll the homeless dudes in our hood) that you are cool… and if he doesnt think you are cool…. well… i dont think you’ll like the neighborhood nearly as much….

i know.. i know… you could figure allllll this stuff out on your own… but the way i see it..why should you have to reinvent the wheel.. im willing to bring you up to speed.. i suppose thats just the kinda girl i am…

i guess what im trying to say…is….well sugarpie…. the ball is in your court…..

and oh yeah…. one more thing…

that black dress thing you were wearing last night makes your ass look HUGE… really hon…girlfriend to girlfriend.. retire that shit…

xoxo

sb

Cache