You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘breakfast of champions’ category.

oh sugarbabies…

i bought a new pair of jeans this week..ok ok.. you got me..i bought a bunch of new clothes…you know how it goes…one for aunt fern…three for me…. one for mom… three for me… but i digress….i did it to bribe myself into being better about the IHOP visits, the cake monkey flown in from LA… the treats in the break room…the yummy goodies at assorted office parties… you know of what i speak….

so i bought a tight pair of expensive jeans (yes..they look great) …and told myself that there was room for nary a cookie… and i gave away the cake monkey goodness to clients.. ok ok damn you .. MOST of the cake monkey goodness….

and then just when i thought i was doing sooo good.. i found myself in the middle of a rural mcdonalds at a truckstop ….thankyouverymuch… ordering an egg and cheese mcmuffin… i sat in a lumpy booth that was prob from the 70’s and realllly enjoyed that thing… i savored every bite… chewed slowly…and washed it down with a bottle of lemon flavored dasani…. then the guilt hit me… ahhh the shame of it all…the lack of control….which anyone who knows me… knows that when i get “fixated” on a control issue… well…it can get dicey… and well… for a moment i wanted to blame rural america for not offering me a healthy choice… but im not one to shift blame…or at least im not ready to admit that i do ….sooo….

i started thinking about what i would have eaten if i had been home…oh simple enufff…

one of the kids would have brought me my fave egg and cheese sandwich from panera….. hey wait..i just ate and egg and cheese sandwich why do i feel so extra guilty??? and then i pulled out my iphone and did the research… the McDonalds sandwich was wayyyyyy healthier (numbers only here…but then isnt that what this is??? a numbers game?? ) no seriously…

panera 380 calories

mcdonalds 270 calories…

and its not just in calories… the Mickey D Won in almost EVERY CATAGORY…

sodium, fat grams, serving size (mc was LARGER),  panera won protein with 18gm over mcd’s 14 grams…i like a lottttttt of protein….

and then as if to add insult to injury… mickey comes in UNDER TWO dollars… compared to paneras…well you get teh picture…they wont even post how much that $hit costs on the web!

….christ on a cracker…

dont worry kids i didnt take away from this that i should eat more mcdonalds….

just that i should give up entirely on panera…

goodbye thick slice of vermont white cheddar…you were amazing..its NOT you its me… and these pants …you see…they mean more to me than… well…you

and maybe i shouldnt beat myself up for EVERY indulgence…moderation i tell my self…but yeah..have you seeen my life?? lets just say moderation isnt my forte’…

all that AND i dropped my makeup bag on the floor of a “ladies” room (and i use the term loosely ) of the truckstop…please dont ask why i was doing my makeup & eating a mcmuffin in a truckstop…

thats a post for another day….

…and to boot i JUST found out its Thursday…

and i made a lawyer ( a very expensive one i might add) argue the case for it being Thursday as…im obviously a conspiracy theorist and i wasnt just willing to take the opinion of “the man” on this issue…

which means i am a day late on everything….

i thought it was only WED… no wonder they looked at me funny when i dropped alice off yesterday for her TUES  appt. at the Groomer!

christ… some days its hard being this blond….

ok …umm… is it too early to start drinking???

xoxo

Advertisements

sugar babies…

around one thirty in the morning…the atmosphere at the bar had gone from mellow to….well …you could feel… the soft touch of desperation rolling slowly in…kinda smoke like..gathering in corners and spreading out…. under the swanky lounge chairs and … curling up … toward the bar…

……no wait…that is REAL smoke…oh yeah….im in virginia they still smoke out here….how did i get out here??? jeeezuz…. somebody shoot me… oh yeah…he offered to drive…

girls were forcing laughs…their faces shiny… their lipstick had turned garish… when they leaned back against the divans…they closed their eyes… and you could tell that for them… the room was spinning… more from the cocktails than the dj

the boys were feeling the pressure to make a move soon…or be resigned to going home solo… so they were kicking up their game… and being more touchy feely than they had been earlier in the evening… with one eye checking for other options that were still attainable given the time restraints… it wasnt helping them that mother nature was cock blocking with cold and monsoon rains coming down in sheets …combined with the general apathy that has permeated DC during the last few weeks of an extended primary season… well …poor babies…. it was gonna be an uphill battle…i leaned in and wished one boy luck with a girl who was probably cute when she hadnt been rained on…..he passed his hookah….

oh yeah…fucking hell..im in a eurotrash hookah bar in virginia….somebody pleazzze shoot me

the waitress…was bringing drinks a little slower… trying to get a head start on getting out of there… she was rounding up credit cards…. smiling a little harder…. last call isnt too far off.. she reminds me of someone….i cant think who…maybe kardashians crazy loud sister?? maybe….

but i have to admit…im glad i decided to come out….. i dont do much of ANYTHING that i dont want to…but…i let him talk me into it…. i didnt want to go out..and i certainly didnt want to go out to virginia….(best Tshirt spotted at the black cat last week ..Virginia is for Losers) i DEF… wouldnt have agreed to a hookah bar….

but…. i suck at saying no….

and he offered to drive….

and with sex on wheels..STILLLLLLL in intensive care….out at the dealer….damn… youd think german car parts wouldnt be THAT hard to come by…

so i let him take the lead …..and we headed to an anonymous arlington bar…. it was nice to be in a new neighborhood where nobody knows you… you dont nod slightly to anyone as they acknowledge that you are with a new boy from across the room…with a knowing …if only slight lift of their glass…nobodys eyebrows raise when you walk by with that…”hes cute ..call me later” look

questions piss me off these days… i dont know why…im just not in the mood for them…..and he didnt ask many…sooo that was good… we shared some apple tobacco…he knew the waitress….so the ice never rattled in my glass… and the dj worked a mellow groove between LA cool and NY hot…. the people watching was kind of bland… so when he leaned in and kissed me …it was a welcome diversion…but frankly… i was in a melancholy mood and it was gonna take more than a few vodka tonics and some PDA… to pull me out of it…

and then it comes back to me…ummm yeah…im in hookah bar… one fortyfive ish… a.m… im hungry… i had wiggled out of an earlier dinner date….. (i told you i hadnt wanted to go out) so i hadnt eaten… and the vodka tonics were gonna start to catch up to me…

like i said he didnt want to talk…and that was fine with me…i preferred it…

maybe having sex on wheels in the shop has me soo melancholy…maybe the rain…maybe the cold…. maybe i should go to LA… just for a few days… maybe im over thinking it…maybe im over thinking everything these days…i was getting grouchy…i was ready to switch to ginger ale….i just wanted to get back to my place…crawl into a warm dry bed…. snuggle down… but….here i was in VA at two in the morning…

thank god….he made the right offer…

and well….

bob and ediths is too hard to pass up…

fried eggs and grits…

then he put his ride into gear (sometimes i forget how much i like to watch boys drive) and we headed back across the river…

home…

the lesbians were wrapping up their party next door…. and one of them was sitting in a wheeled office chair while her friends pushed her down the sidewalk …spinning…in the rain…

two kids “security personnel” brought me an end of the night “goodie bag” from the club owner… and ….well….its nice to be back in my neighborhood…

and

then….in the morning… i wake up to a text from the rockstar…

hes in town…

want to get breakfast???

there can be a beautiful symmetry to starting a morning …

the same way you finished the evening…

with a boy who doesnt ask too many questions…and a bowl of grits….

maybe in another life… it would be the SAME boy… morning And night

but frankly…i think i like it my way bettter… at least for now

xoxo

oh sugarbabies…weekends are for warriors…not sex kittens…….

Wed (hump day): invited to join fun friends for drinks…at 7…soooo i came home put on a pretty frock, powdered my nose, pulled the tangles out of my hair….. and fell fast asleep…. didnt wake up til 930 the next morning..on top of the covers still in my frock and false eyelashes…thats f-r-O-c-k..you kids have such dirty minds

damn…

Thurs (lil Firday): worked a wee bit… went in late…cause i slept til 930..but i didnt count it as sleep because i wasnt under the covers…it isnt restful..if you arent snuggled in…so i didnt actually get out of bed…til 1030… then spent the best part of the day at a power lunch drinking martinis…went home early… big lunches make me sleepy

…yawn….

weekends are for warriors...

Fri: standing on a street corner when a cute boy spotted me… he circled back .. and i convinced him to take me to the grocery store!…score! sooo with a weekends worth of cheddar cheese and Life cereal… the pressure was off to find any dates to feed me…so… i had drinks only… and was tucked into bed early…under the covers this time..not that passed out sprawled out on top… as is prone to happen on friday nights

Sat: early morning text message from boy: “lets drop the top and get fucked up” how could i say no to such a romantic offer…alas… the agent for the loveshack (emphasis on shack!)called ….what do you think..should i buy a teeny lil love shack on the river that needs “some tlc” about 15k in work???? i dont know either sooo i got up wery wery early… drove west for 45 min… and dipped my toes in the shallow part of the shenandoah …and then came back… grabbed the boy… and proceeded to order mimosas…only of course we asked the ‘tress to serve ’em in big ole pint glasses….so she wouldnt have to keeeep refilling us every two min..then.. . finished up with a girlfriend at my fave watering hole …. and i was again… tucked in before the “douching hour”ed note…”douching hour” starts around 10 am in my neighborhood during hockey playoff season….

Sun: i was in bed (under the covers) when i get a text from a friend…he is back in town… just getting into a cab @ airport… i texted back in my sleepy text voice… i havent had coffee yet…he showed up on my doorstep..made me breakfast…. kissed my cheek and left to go check into his hotel…seriously… ive got that one trained just about perfectly!! i didnt leave the house all day…kittens dont like rain…soo…i watched lifetime movie network while surfing the net… and discovered:

1) the pope wears prada: hes totally jacking my style with red leather prada shoes…but whateves..if a creepy ole german guy is gonna have a fetish..i suppose an italian shoe one is about as vanilla as they come…its also rumored he sports some serengeti and gucci shades… is benny a label whore?? speaking of whores…and when i say whores i mean hot chicks…

2) guess who is STARRING in ZOMBIE STRIPPERS??…. YEP..our girl jenna jameson…. the campy horror film stars our fave lil pornstar …or whats left of her…. personally….i think it looks fun… and the cute Roxy Saint should be worth it alone…as the goth stripper who WANTS to be a zombie..cause it will make her uber-gothy.. i think it has opened in limited release…so you folks in NYC check it out for me and give me reviews…it isnt here yet….and from the looks of it may not get wide theater release…

i know….kinda dull..but sugar please….. even sex kittens get sleepy…

xoxo

sugarbabies….

i suppose it is true that we define ourselves by our limits…

by deciding … how far we will be pushed… how low we will sink… how high we will reach… how hard we will work…or how far we will go… for something…or someone…

so when a friend from NYC called the other night…

the last thing i expected…

was to face the question of… how far…. would i go….

for the record…he’s NOT one of “those” friends… (the ones with benefits and all)… nope…. he’s the real deal… ive known him since i was fifteen years old… we’ve been there for each other through things like schools, graduations, marriages, divorces, cancers, babies, career changes, mortgages, reversals of fortunes, and reversals of reversals of fortunes … he’s that kind of friend…

…and the last year has been a tuff one for him…

so when i saw his name on the phone…. i was reallly glad to answer…and hear from him…. we spent about an hour catching up…. and…he eventually said something about how we hadnt seen each other in ages and that i should come to NYC…. and i said i was too busy right now…he should come to DC….and he said he was too busy….. etc etc… finally we agreed that we were both busy… and how important the stuff going on in our lives was…. and pretty soon we said good bye …and hung up…

… i walked around the house for a bit…doing important stuff…like you know:

  • putting away some laundry…
  • cleaning out my internet cache…
  • updating my ipod…

and it hit me…

like a rock…like a big ole jagged rock to the backside of my crazy blond head……

is that as far as i can go… for friendship?

since when ….. am i toooo busy for a friend?

sooo…even though it was getting late…

i called him back…

SB: hey sugarpie… since when do we not have time for each other????

BOY: umm..since never….

SB: GOOD… cause i can be at Union station in 15 min..and

YOU can be at Penn station in 15 min…

we can both be on fast trains within an hour….

ill meet you in the middle….

philly…

and sugarpie…you better run…cause …last one there…buys …. and i feel expensive tonight….

i was pulling on my jacket and looking out the window to see if i could spot a cab as i was talking…

the race was on…

and then…i remembered reading this…..

so i told him id meet him at the Silk City Diner….

for breakfast….

and we did…

he beat me there by 7 min…

thats what friends do….

they go the extra mile..or in this case…

they half the distance and double their solidarity…
huevos rancheros… and coffee…and good friends…..at an all night diner…

life can be as simple and as good as that….

if you’re willing to go that far….

xoxo

  • cab fares : $26.00
  • train tix: $136.00
  • jukebox: $6.00
  • diner tab: $68.00
  • all night adventure that included trains and breakfast with a good friend…. priceless…

sugarbabies…

a few reasons that today doesnt suck….

  • last night had dinner with a few girls and a cute group of boys…. the cutest of which was only about… ohh.. 16 inches tall… and a snuggler (no worries..that is NOT a clock ticking…)
  • dragged ….. the cutest (over 16 inch tall) of the boys home with me…
  • had a great breakfast….. the most important meal of the day…
  • ran into a friend on a realllly early morning coffee run… when i ordered TWO coffees… she looked at me over the top of her glasses .. i looked back at her… over the top of my glasses… and replied……boom chicka wah wah…
  • found my missing fionna apple cd
  • rode into the office (topless) singing along loudly

ive been a bad bad girl…ive been careless with a delicate man…and its a sad sad world… when a girl will break a boy ..just because she can

  • when i got to the office… someone had brought in bagels..

..what can i say…all that umm.. “breakfast”..

a girl can work up an appetite..

xoxo

Cache

Twitter…try to keep up…ok??

Advertisements