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I am a city girl… i wear all black…maybe some gray …maybe some olive green… everything in my closet matches everything else…

that said…

i don’t usually like black lingerie…i mean of course its classic, goes with everything….etc etc..but…**yawn**

i like my naughty bits wrapped in neon pink, pushed up with lime greens, wrapped tightly in leopard prints. Azure blue peeks out from under my sweater when the neckline slides too far in any direction…yellow mesh with bits of pink ribbon laced corset style up the cup… blue and white gingham ruffles over lace… yes love, that IS a bit of blaze orange under Karl Lagerfelds silk georgette camo blouse… black would work i guess…but the orange….the orange takes it up a notch…even if nobody sees…even if no one whispers “are you wearing orange under there?” and even if nobody kisses my neck while their hands find a way to push up my sweater in the back of a town car on the way home  ….  i know…. and that is usually enough to keep my shoulders back and posture tall when my feet hurt and I’m at my 3rd round of drag shows for the weekend…and the envelope of white powder being passed round the table is a new body glitter – i cant make this stuff up – also i am slightly mortified to announce that there may or may not be pix of me circulating on the internet with a man wearing a hat made entirely of gilded dongs…

and yes …if you want your knickers to have hooks and snaps and ribbons…. where? yes there… then Europe has always been the best place to buy … and yes it costs more than is reasonable… and it can be hard, even for me,  to justify $130.00 for a thong… but then…then… you find that your favorite source for fun colors, quality laces and, extreme designs has come out with a new line inspired by Monica Cruz the lil sister of Penelope Cruz….and its designed by the sisters… and it’s priced at a very flattering price point that says special but not out of reach

meet  L’Agent the new collaboration with luxury lingerie label Agent Provocateur

*sigh* im particularly fond of the “monica” set…but how to choose a color?!?

here is the video NSFW… and oh wait is that lil sis Monica Cruz in her last trimester making an adorable appearance at about 1:17 …oh…i think it is…

Available from Nordstrom (online only… best i can tell – their lingerie manager never called me back :-/  ) if you want free shipping to anywhere…

or from Net A Porter if you prefer yours to come in a lil black box…that seems just the right amount of mysterious..maybe even naughty…

xoxo

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via: wayne white

via: wayne white

im thinkin this painting …pretty much sums up my life… in optimal keywords/tags…

xoxo

 

 

 

…growing up in dc…

our next door neighbors were two elderly/retired catholic nuns….

on summer Saturdays my “chore list” included weeding the tree box… i always cleaned Miss Anna & Miss Marys tree box too and they always handed me a silver dollar for my trouble… on one particular hot afternoon in july, Miss Anna was sitting on the stoop while i was pulling trash from the tree box when Miss Mary propped her “radio box” in the open window …we all smiled at each other when the music started…

and then the three of us were dancing…on the sidewalk…my brother came from somewhere, at first he was laughing at us …but then he was bobbing too….with a broom…

its one of my fondest childhood memories…and it was the first time i heard chuck brown…

RIP and godspeed to the godfather of go-go…. get get get get on down….

xoxo

Chuck Brown…if you grew up in DC he was your Godfather…
” the godfather of go-go”

math

 

look mom…i love you as a person and all.. but please dont take my bunny ~ alice

xoxo

its not easy to find a man who will choke you…

the first time a man put his hand on the back of my neck…tightly…we were in an art gallery…and he spied something on the other side of the room…instead of taking my arm…he put his hand on the back of my neck… and guided me in the other direction….. the gesture was subtle…unexpectedly intimate…almost aggressive…  i spent the rest of the night (and pretty much that relationship … maybe every relationship since) trying to figure out how to get his hands back to my neck

photo by: juan cruz

there is something vulnerable and animalistic about exposing your throat to someone…..having someone pull your hair … force your chin up and expose that soft spot… that bit of neck…

theres a  pulsing feeling when the  blood starts to rush…a dizzy sensation…your head spins a little when you realize youre not in control anymore… not even close… and you can feel your own pulse against his thumb…

there isnt much that is sexier…than… power…and control…

except maybe surrendering it… and

i dont remember exactly when or where it started but i do love when a man

wraps his fingers around my throat… and…

takes my breath away…

xoxo

“is there anyone out there …cause its getting harder and harder to breathe….” ~maroon 5

ed note: edge play of any kind is by its very nature dangerous….dont do it…

sugarbabies…

my horrible pun aside…these are a few of my favorite things…for the boys…well…for the  preppy ones…and who doesnt like a preppy boy during springtime?? thats right we allll do…and since the weather outside is awful..might as well shop…and truly… is there ever anything as satisfying as stumbling upon the perfect gift…ok ok dont answer that…but…yeah its stillll pretty great…

xoxo

1: Pierrepont Hicks gingham awesomeness, 2: Thomas PINK bulldog cuff links…grrrrowl, 3. Rayban RB2140 Original  Wayfarer  ….how to be hot AND cool, 4. Walk-Over Derby 100’s Men’s Buck navy suede Spring 2011 … dont step on my blue suede shoes… 5. Psycho Bunny Hip Flask…. like a boy scout… be prepared…. xoxo

We were blessed by the minister
Who practiced what he preached
We were blessed by the poor man
Who said heaven is within reach
We were blessed by the girl selling roses
Showed us how to live
We were blessed by the neglected child
Who knew how to forgive
We were blessed by the battered woman
Who didnt seek revenge
We were blessed by the warrior
Who didnt need to win
We were blessed by the blind man
Who could see for miles and miles
We were blessed by the fighter
Who didnt fight for the prize

We were blessed by the mother
Who gave up the child
We were blessed by the soldier
Who gave up his life
We were blessed by the teacher
Who didnt have a degree
We were blessed by the prisoner
Who knew how to be free
We were blessed
Yeah, we were blessed

We were blessed by the mystic
Who turned water into wine
We were blessed by the watchmaker
Who gave up his time
We were blessed by the wounded man
Who felt no pain
By the wayfaring stranger
Who knew our names
We were blessed by the homeless man
Who showed us the way home
We were blessed by the hungry man
Who filled us with love
By the little innocent baby
Who taught us the truth
We were blessed by the forlorn
Forsaken and abused

We were blessed
Yeah, we were blessed
Mnn, we were blessed
Yeah, we were blessed
We were blessed

~lucinda williams

sugarbabies…

happy st patricks day…i hope you and yours are safe at least slightly sloshed and of course….blessed…

xoxo

oh sugarbabies

rumor has it…. that today is international crush day

and god knows the only thing i love more that a juicy rumor is a crush…

and if i had to confess to my crushes… well id have to tell you how i  once was trapped  in an elevator in a swanky hotel with a certain rockstar…and … how when the doors finally opened i was soo flustered and crushing that i RAN out of the elevator… and how all this happened when i was about 13 years old…and while we all have crushes while coming of age…few of us get trapped in an elevator and proceed to ..as our 13 yr old brain perceives it..RUIN OUR LIVES by trying very awkwardly to seem cool and older and nonchalant in a hotel elevator for 15 min…and id also confess that since that moment…any crush has had to be compared to the flush of nervous sexual energy experienced by a pubescent girl whose personal game of 15 min in heaven played out perfectly if  however inelegantly that day…and well… thats a lot to live up to…

and why its also apropos for the word crush to be defined as  both 

noun: adoration AND verb: humiliating defeat

which is why i dont take a crush lightly.. i nurture that mother trucker… and i recommend you do the same…

and i know i am SUPPOSED to reveal my current crushes here and now…but … sugarbabies… im nothing if not discreet…even or maybe most importantly when…

its just a little crush

xoxo

ps…ok ok  youre my crush… but you already knew that didnt you…

i looked it up… and …

the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim.
booze… twitter… fast food was even suggested…but no sugarbabies… that hardly seems like what jesus wants from me.. i mean with an upcoming trip to texas… can you say what -a- burger…or shiner bock…taco truck? cause im pretty sure jesus wants me to have those things…and in large quantities…  so i thought long and hard ok ok not that long..not that hard…
Optimus Prime* maybe? but i think that my mood might be a burden on others… no good can come of that…really…. sooo …no that wont do..
and maybe it sounds boring to y’all…but im giving up sugar… not the kind that goes on your cereal… the kind that works like catnip on sex kittens …….wish me luck….
sugar baby

….i know jesus wants me to smell good…so send me your ideas for a lenten substitute??? 

xoxo

*aka vibrating lady toy

sugarbabies…

…i love to watch all the red carpet coverage and…. for one night…. judge people by what they are wearing…all from the comfort of my sofa…wearing my favorite (oakton cougars) sweatpants… eating pizza and drinking champagne…. and yes…yes im giddy with anticipation… but then im always giddy when pizza/sweats & champagne are involved…

xoxo


look sugarbabies..

as you might guess… exiled chilean communist poets … are not generally known as men of means… but that never stopped Pablo and it shouldnt stop you…

hmm valentines day…. “what WOULD pablo do?”

you know who i mean ….arguably the most romantic exiled chilean communist poet to ever live …

pablo neruda…

annnd i know ive told you before…lots of times.. NOT to expect girls to like the things i like… BUT in this case…if she cant appreciate anything on this little list… then NOTHING you do will ever be good enough and you should run not walk the other way…and boys… if you really wanna do right and earn some karma… try to remember that valentines day isnt just for sweethearts… remember the women who make your life interesting… fun…or easier…moms daughters barristas receptionists dry cleaners housekeepers neighbors the girl who smiles at you on the bus… sometimes little things really really DO mean a lot… but yeah no pressure….

what would pablo do?

valentines day gift ideas that wont break the bank…

What Would Pablo Do

1) i love to give this lil edition of love poems from pablo neruda to friends and loves alike …i may even have been known to hide it deep in the spare tire compartment of cars i trade in… wishing the next owner well… & should they suffer a flat at least they have something to read while waiting for AAA… $11

2) champagne flutes from Tiffany and Co. at $15 each and wrapped in a huge blue box and tied with ribbon….. you will look like a rock-star… throw in a bottle of champagne and youre still not busting the budget… (depending, of course.. on how swanky your particular champagne tastes run )

3) cakeballs… yeah you read that right..CAKEBALLS …self explanatory.. & they ship

4)  Ikea … $24 for a wee lil sheepskin rug that makes her think of you when she curls her toes… win…

5) also at Ikea … a rectangle vase for $2.50 (how do they even do that) pretty pink carnations are sweet…hardy… economical  and dont have quite the same commitment / connotation as roses… not to mention the whole “roses on valentines day” thing is a racket and is pretty played out… keep it simple…

6) while ill prob never forgive them for making me fly first class next to women in velor track suits… this cute lil ring from Juicy Couture has been on my wish list for a while now… $88 is a bit on the pricier side of this particular list..but i couldnt resist putting it here… i think pablo would approve..

7) theater tix are surprisingly affordable…and they support the arts a good cause! less conventional theaters are a favorite of mine… the prices are better and setting more intimate… depending on your level of commitment they have season subscriptions.. or half seasons.. or a single show..

personnally … id recommend a combo…snuggle on a sheepskin rug…. while somebody makes me dinner… pours a chilean red… and reads a bit of neruda… you know…. take

* barry and levons advise ….cook and chill….

Te amo como se aman ciertas cosa oscuras,
secretamente, entre la sombra y el alma.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.
— Pablo Neruda
ed note: yes phil.. i DID work barry and levon  into a post with pablo neruda ahhh yeah.. youre welcome! xoxo

sugarbabies…

i can see the sun for the first time in weeks…AND its hovering at 50 degrees outside… practically the tropics…  feels delicious… tomorrow the man says it will be gray and cold again… but for the moment im soaking it in…tomorrow ill go back to chasing winter blues off with a few of my favorite things…

1) Kate Spade clutch… cute right? and the clutch is half the price of a bag…i never got on the HUGE handbag bandwagon… i could pack for a long weekend in those purses….including tossing alice in there…. katespade.com

2) white dinner plates.. let the food be the star and change up your whole tablescape with just new salad plates….i got mine at west elm they were closing the store i got an even deeeper discount when i offered to buy out alllll of their stock …

3) fluffy white egyptian cotton towels (always available at TJMaxx) and a fluffy white robe…instant spa.. . also you can easily supplement if any fancy hotel towels accidentally follow you home (dont worry they are easier to keep clean you can toss a wee bit o bleach in the wash with ’em ….& you alll know i *heart* bleach!)

4) MAC Chill white eye shadow swept across the browbone…instant facelift

5) borrow grandmas pearls…they are never wrong but i especially love them in winter…the longer the strand the better the more of them the merrier…

6) while you are stealing err borrowing grandmas jewelry …grab your boyfriends white shirt…i dont care if you dont technically have a boyfriend…you know SOME boy…. grab his shirt and go all risky business… its sexy and comfortable..and trust me… those dont get thrown into the same sentence very often …take advantage

7) glam up everything with an enamal cuff … all the biggest designers have them … maybe your suit isnt chanel…your bracelet can be mcqueen… and they make a great gift…  net.a.porter.com

8.) iphone cover… i dont leave home without my iphone… i can even use it to buy my coffee now…soo… this lil cover keeps it protected…without sacrificing that clean apple aesthetic… this one is from modcloth

9) flowers flowers flowers… i like white ones…and tulips were $5 a bunch in safeway yesterday…just do it…

10) organize organize organize… i use these boxes from ikea $5 for a set … i feel sooo much better when things are tidy… and…. its tooo cold to go outside anyway… stay in & spend the day with your junk drawer you’ll feel better for it…organization is sexy…so is being able to find the scotch tape/ibuprofen/flashlight when you need em..im just saying

xoxo

the nice list...ahhh…. the “Nice List” …

  1. the BFF… a cute art deco clutch from Nicole Miller $150 …and just in time for new years eve
  2. the Office Secret Santa …fuzzy wuzzy pencils Kates Paperie Shop $10
  3. your Nephew a mustache for every occasion! Paper Source $8
  4. your Newlywed Girlfriend… a Retro Apron …and… im betting her new husband will like it too… Anthropologie $32
  5. your Niece… Eloise! the classic about life in The Plaza … “room service..ill take a fork & 3 peas…and …Charge It, PleaseB&N $13
  6. the Neighborhood Kids…… An Army of Lucha Libre … ok ok truthfully they are for me…i see a whole christmas tree of them & maybe even strung together as a garland… what?  you dont know of my luchador love ? dont judge my life…  Paper Source $15
  7. your BGF… Chan Luu’s wrap bracelets are classics… this one is sized for the boys… Chan Luu $245
  8. yourself… oh what the hell…. you did something nice this year…im sure of it…  Chan Luu @ Net A Porter

seriously… if youre local… you can find all of the above AND have a few holiday cocktails at the Reston Town Center in under 2 hours… and me…i spent most of that time lingering over the cocktails…..

ok ok …

i know what your thinking sugarbabies… and dont you worry… i’ll get  the” naughty list”  guide out asap… as for my “wish list” well….. wouldnt you just love to know ;-)…..

xoxo

sugarbabies…

today is the day that i have to give up my fake grandma…

damn…in gonna miss her…

….her calls remind me to take my vitamins and to eat a veggie or two … i mean she doesn’t say those things…but her voice…it reminds me of my ninny…(i miss you ninny)…

…fake grandma says things like…

Hey Jackie…i hope youre feeling better …if you are we can meet at mcdonalds for lunch! ok talk to you soon…i love you….

or..

Hey Jackie… wow youre not gonna believe it but i beat doris at cribbage and she was sooo mad..hehehe…oooh lordy she was steaming… and then kaye told her her tuna sald was a little dry! i wish you coulda seen her face… ok i ‘ll call you later i gotta take frankie to his dr.s appt. now i love you…

yeah… i know.. im not jackie… and my chatty fake grandma has the “wrong number” but her voice is so cute and sweet…even when she is gossiping shamelessly about doris…and i melt when she says i love you with the same lilting texas inflection as my ninny… sooo for purely selfish reasons i have never called fake grandma to tell her that jackie hasnt returned her calls because jackie hasnt gotten them… i have… and ive saved them… but today… well today the news for jackie wasnt good…and my usually sunny fake grandmas message was tinged with fear and sorrow… and well… she tried to compensate at the end of the message by perking up to say…

hes not in pain…yet…

sooo as soon as time change makes it appropriate… i’m gonna call fake grandma…

and maybe while i wait…..ill say little prayer for her too…

xoxo

sugarbabies..

at this moment…im so enamored just tickled pink with these lil pitchers that gurgle…

xoxo

Ive been having soooo much fun over at wordle that i havent done any real work in days… i mean really who doesnt looove a word cloud algorithm!

xoxo

sugarbabies… if there is one thing that you kids know about me…its that i try my very very very best to …no matter what it is…keep it sexy… to find the sexy in everyday things and life…and to concentrate not on the good the bad or the ugly…but only …the sexy… sooo….here are a few things im finding sexy right now:

white cotton pjs …. with  a wee bit too much sun these are purrrfect …buttoned or unbuttoned… pants or sans pants…they are proving pretty darn versatile AND almost acceptable if i have to chase alice through the buildings common areas *hi mailman* again….i also love that they are white so a lil bleach keeps em shiny bright & stain free … & as a bonus  my dry cleaner presses em for a pittance! FTW

glitter and doom…  its been on repeat for soo long that everyone in my office threatened to quit… i told them to it would be a cold day in hell when id pick any of their slack asses over tom waits live…but… i did switch to the small change album…for a few hours…

bat for lashes & lykke li my two fave girls of 2009… great videos too… careful the tunes are kinda infectious…

Tiffanys Classic Champagne Flutes …. (thank you santa i looove them!) these surprisingly affordable…. chic glamorous crystal classics  make  purrfect hostess/wedding/ its Wednesday/ gifts! and lets face it affordable is the new black…

Jon Wye Tshirts… for real kids i spotted them on folks TWICE up in NYC …and when i found he was local i was just tickled pink… personal fave is the mustache one (that i dont see on the site  right now…but i didnt wade in too deep) but no worries this one is great too! arrrgh pass the bacon… awww just think how sexy he’d look making me breakfast…meowwwww……

and then there is this..two things you would never think go together….looking sooo purrrfect together…

~via welovechaos

this just makes me want to have a party … with down tempo house music…in oh i guess northern cali or one of those moist foggy  twin peaks/twilight saga states…??? i mean come on now… ya gotta admit….

it ALMOST makes camping look kinda sexy…..

xoxo

welcome sugarbabies!!

sooo youve survived the holidays…good on you! me too if with a wee bit of a sun burn on my backside…dont ask..and dont worry …nuthin that forgoing knickers and flying kamikaze for a few days wont remedy….

wish i was as confidant about the sniffles and sneezing …

or the slightly green tinge that chlorine and/or an over zealous stylist may or may not have left in my hair….(oh the humanity)

sooo…i roll up to the office this morning in my sexiest fleece pullover and yoga pants… sporting a chic ponytail and dark glasses… sans make-up (and knickers) and only my driving mocs …(you knooow how sexy yoga pants are come on)

i sneak into my office … and kick my computer into gear…

& WHAT to my wandering eye should appear? A note from a vapid blonde i hold dear!!

christ on a cracker i just broke into verse for absolutely NO gooood reason i must have a fever cause im not even dwinking (unless thera flu has alcohol cause yeah ive had a LOT of that…)

it was a compliment of the highest sort..she reads my blog and picked it as one of her faves in a super sweet meme move…and while i usually pass on memes esp ones that ask me to name names… i mean if there is ONE thing you learn growing up in Washington DC….its…. NEVER Name Names…

but a quick glance at my blog roll tells me half those great kids dont come to the playground anymore…. and there are lots of new kids that do….sooo let me see here are a few of my fave blogs these days :

The adventures of a hoogirl … which over time has morphed into a very informative dc arts scene blog and schedule… Phillipa has a great eye… an open mind… and never misses an opportunity to give great new artists some limelight… i really appreciate her efforts!

faces in places this one always makes me smile and … well may have changed the way i viewed the world around me….

the rockstar diaries … i know… its not my usual fare… completely sweet… and i guess even i sometimes want a less cynical look at life… if disney princesses are real… Taza is one… if they arent.. she the closest thing we’ve got… and i love her style…

a Jersey kid… not the jersy shore kind…the down to earth.. makes sense to me kind of kid..the kind of kid you wanna grab a drink with… or four…

Skinkering Hearts rock on girlfriend! she has great taste in men…so i’m prone to  popping  over for some eye candy…

there are more…but im outta time… and if  i dont publish this now i wont ever… and… glad to be home sugarbabies… settling in…this 2010 stuff is prettty fun so far…but

hold on tight i have a feeling its gonna be a bumpy ride!

xoxo

sugarbabies..

i wrote you kids a really great post(trust me it was a good one) today

about what big ole pick up trucks do to me..

and how i prob woulda married a couple of guys if they coulda made me feel … the way i feel when i pull up next to a monster truck on constitution avenue… *swooon*

and how something about the promise of a high lonesome /down -n- dirty combo along with a hemi…is pretty much irresistible

and how its the ying to my yang….

how coaxing a throaty growl out of sex on wheels when we are at a light, with the top down… and a soon to be patented “sideways- chin on shoulder- glance over the ray bans”… next to a big fella pretty much guarantees a tire squeal for attention or plea for coffee on craigslists missed connections…

about how ….i have fantasies of driving up behind one of these guys…they drop the tailgate…and it turns into a ramp….and i roll up into the bed… all at like 75 mph. like a total smokey and the bandit move….

and

how opposites must really attract … cause i dont really like guys in sports cars… seriously? the italian ones are tooooo high maintenance and seem like they are trying tooo hard…kinda euro douchy…

the american ones seem kinda silly except maybe a few vettes…

the germans do a good job…but something about dudes in sports cars just smacks of midlife crisis or insecurities…and dont even make me have the  gay or european conversation…

no…

i like men who drive sturdy dependable all wheel drives….and if they can handle a dually in the city…*sigh*…what cant they handle???…surely a headstong lil girl like me would be no trouble at all……

but then wordpress crashed and i lost the whole damn thing… and umm yeah im waaay tooo lazy to do the whole thing again… sorry sugarbabies…. but the jist of it is… im waiting…waiting for a man that makes me feel the way i feel when a dually pulls away from me and parallel parks on 14th st….THATS all i want…is that so much?

xoxoxo

sugarbabies…

for a long time the door at my country place was painted Hot Pink

i did it myself… on a hot summer day in just a  hanes wife beater t shirt … and panties  (one of the perks of country life…you dont HAVE to wear pants…)

and it was puuurfect… everyone always commented how “ME”  it was…I took it as a compliment… even on the occasions when i knew it was a backhanded one at best…

because

and this is important kids…

i didnt care… what anyone else thought  of it…. i loved it… i grinned every time i saw it come into view…and if you had asked me to name my favorite thing about that house that summer i would not have paused for  a moment…before laughing and saying …the hot pink pu$$y cat entrance….

eventually …. one of the handymen inadvertently painted the door gray…for reals…he painted my HOT PINK front door industrial gray….that was a colossal communication cluster …but whatever -thats another story

the point is…

i loved my hot pink door…

paint the town pink

i came by it naturally… or at least i felt like i did…when i was young my Granny lived in pink house… a crazily IMPRACTICAL…Victorian house on the Ocean… that was pink… i remember her coming home from a HOA meeting beaming proud of herself…for fooling the HOA into thinking her teensy pink paint chip was actually called “dusty taupe” …we danced on the porches while the house was painted… we loved it… with formal gardens everywhere… (in pots, of course,  you do KNOW how hard it is to grow vintage roses in sand!!!) and well… Grandaddy… he just shook his head… and said…

whatever makes my girls happy…

and he meant it… of course… he took quite a ribbing at the clubhouse and the golf course… but he didnt care… he would just shrug his shoulders and say ….as long as his his girls were happy and that he knew if there was ever an emergency…the fire dept KNEW where the PINK house was in the sea of beigey beigey  coastal architectural  …

he didnt care either… and lately  it may or may not have been pointed out to me by a good friend that maybe  i have….

under (what i like to think was) the guise of graciousness…

cared a bit tooo much about what some people think…

i have made excuses for people when they hurt my feelings

when they hurt my friends

when they were rude

i accepted half hearted apologies that i shouldnt have….

and well…

if 2009 has been about anything sugarbabies…its been about CHANGE and that means me too…i think i should paint more stuff pink…

im gonna try much harder  to pay much more attention to the people in my life who deserve it…and god knows they have been patient with me… and much less attention to those that dont…

because i realize that sooo many folks in my life have let me paint their proverbial houses pink….

they have taken risks with me…

they have held their collective breathe for me…

they have wondered what the heck is she doing?

and why on earth is she doing it?

they have shaken their heads at me…. and they have said

“whatever makes you happy”

and they have meant it…

and to all of them i am sooo thankful…

and to the others…

i’m afraid i just dont have the time anymore…

youre on your own…

its kinda like my great aunt fern always said...

sugar…youre gonna  reap what you sow…

and there is no way that your sour grapes are my fault…

or my problem any more….

xoxo

oh sugarbabies….

i startled out of a pretty deep  sleep…when i heard the knock on the door….i almost immediately realized i was in a hotel …which hotel and why came to me  slower ….i was half outta bed pulling the sheet around me when i realized it was Lenny Briscoe….and that id fallen asleep with the tv on… as evvvveryone will tell you…im apt to do…

i smiled at lenny….i miss you…rip

then i heard another noise that made me jump again… snoring…

damn…yep…hes there passed out on the sofa…. crap…

i looked under the sheets….i still had panties AND a tank top on… ok ok ok good… im not a TOTAL whore…

i fell back into to bed…. hearing to him breathing… was … comforting…

i looked at the clock…and pulled on my jeans… 6am.. central time…

i stepped kinda gingerly watching out for guitars and other assorted equip that was strewn EVERYWHERE….arrrgh…

i headed to the kitchen…pushed open the door… hugged maria… she hugged me back… we go back a loooong way….i pulled a stool up to the counter and she poured me a cup of coffee….

“you two have been spending a lot of time together”… she winked….

“no… no no… we havent sugar… we just seem to spend the bits of time we DO spend together here!”

she just  shrugged…and passed me a peach yogurt from the fridge…. i poured some coffee into a carafe, grabbed an unseemly number of splendas and headed back to my room…

he was in the bed…

i snuggled in next to him…

“friends… til the end” ???

when he said it there was a little bit of a question in his voice….

it usually comes out as a statement….

our statement…

our promise that no matter what… or who… or where… or how we’d alllways be there for each other… some folks youre just connected to like that…and you know that thick or thin…(and he happens to be in  a thin spot…at the moment) they are there…

i thought for a min….

before i kissed his forehead and told him…

“til the end sugar”….

but to myself….. i couldnt help but remember him trying to hide the track marks and thinking…

“the bitter end”

xoxo

sugarbabies…

there are a LOT of reasons to buy original artwork…. one of my faves is …cause they ship it wrapped in enough bubble wrap to cover the ENTIRE bed….

xoxo

hi sugarbabies…

for reasons i wont go into here and now…(this bitch is discreet if nothing else)…. i recently had occasion to be shopping at both Tiffany and Co. AND Cartier… personally i think Tiffany’s is *bitched…but whatever… at BOTH lil shops folks commented on my enamel and brass elephant bracelet..

pictured here…

cat fight at cartier...

cute right?? yeah i like it too… i wear it kind of often..

sooo….. i wasnt surprised when the salesgirl from cartier mentioned that she liked it…

what did surprise me …

was when a “girl” i can only describe as

Kim Kardashian with more crazy….and a harsh jersey accent …spoke up….

“i dont do vintage” she said…

then nodding at my bracelet…

“i’ve seen a bracelet like that before” she kept going…

“really???” i feigned interest … (i can be polite to a fault) ….. she kept going…

“i saw it at <insert name of expensive jeweler that specializes in estate jewelery> ” … she kept going..

“and if you ask me <note: no one had> 4k is tooo much to spend for something some other person has been wearing… maybe if it was platinum….or had some bling…i dont get that whole vintage thing?? its like goodwill or sum thang”….

my response was quick and casual….

“huummmm well… i can see why you might feel that way…..but this was a gift from <insert name of famous rockstar here> when we were together a few years ago…. it was his grandmothers.. he wouldnt take it back when we..umm…stopped seeing each other…even his mom told me to keep it…so i still wear it on occasion”

her eyes widened…her jaw dropped… “OH…well that is different -that’s family”

i pointed out that it wasnt MY family…. she looked confused… then asked if she could look closer…i extended my wrist…and gently slid my cashmere sweater sleeve up…..** she fondled the largest elephant with reverence…

“you can really tell the quality by the weight” she said ….unable to hide her new admiration for the chunky bit of jewelry she had rudely dismissed…

she left…mumbling something about heading back to the estate jewelry place for a second look at that “vintage crap” …..

i smiled and turned back to the sales girl …. who …..wisely…. had been quiet through the exchange…

“wow…when did you date <rockstar>” ?? …. she asked politely….

in the 90’s…. i replied…. but …we only went out a few times…

“and he gave you his grandmothers bracelet”??? she asked incredulously….

ummm..no…. this old thing??? i got it for 30 bucks at JCrew….

we both giggled….she might even have doubled over and given me a little girly fist bump that im sure they frown on in Cartier sales training…

— so to jersey kim—

suck it bitch…nobody asked you!

xoxo
ed notes

* -bitched- is how my friends and i described has been trends…. its a bad translation of a bad (local to barranquia columbia) slang spanish word… dont ask…

**that one was for you uncle keith

hi sugarbabies…

its probably the vodka talking…but whatevs … you deserve it…. youve been xxxtra patient with me…

you deserve a post….

soooo ive been sick…i know youre allll tired of hearing it…. not as tired as i am of battling the flu ebloa virus …but…. tired… sooo ….. a few times i managed to drag myself out of bed and stir up trouble… a couple of times…i thought i was better for a day or two… then BAM…back to bed with boxes of PuffsUltra… its the little in between bits that im gonna try to put down in words here… maybe a list would work?? ill try…in no particular order…..

  • went to brunch at 12:30 at a tex mex place….and it ended at 1:30 am crashing a corner vip booth and getting felt up by lesbians in a club….with quick side trips to a swanky furniture store and a crowded irish pub…..some days…. the party starts early….
  • spent valentines day with this fella…. whatever…. he was persistent….and sweet…
  • accidentally called a clients laptop…his porn player… in a big ole business meeting…. as in… “here *dude* (not his real name) pass me your porn player….i know how to make it work for you “…..when the room went dead silent…. i then added…ever so professionally… “umm…. i guess…..thats what she said?”…. in spite of… or because of?? not sure which… i still got the job…
  • pretty sure i gave myself heavy metal poisoning … trying to eat cracker barrel cheese and instead eating a bunch of the wrapper…. yeah i know…must be a blond thing….
  • kissed a boy from NYC…prob gave him the Ebola virus…oops sorry dude…
  • found myself driving skidding across the TR Bridge during a random winter storm that pretty much reduced “sex on wheels” to a very expensive sled… if not for the weird as hell hours that i keep… im sure i woulda totally crashed….DO NOT WANT!!!
  • encountered the following clusterfuck minor setbacks trying to make Lemmonex’s champagne pear cupcakes
    • no mixer in my kitchen
    • no grater in my kitchen
    • no cupcake tin in my kitchen
    • no measuring cups
    • no measuring spoons
    • no knife (ok ok … there are a few butter knives and two steak knives that i stole from the austin grill…fucking classy eh??)…i know the recipe doesnt call for knives..but at this point….i wanted to stab something
    • no mixing bowls (only chinese rice bowls… go figure)
    • couldnt open the champagne bottle ……isnt THAT what boys are for?????
    • dont have foggiest idea how to “sift” things together….is that somehow different from stirring???
    • cant exactly turn on the oven portion of my stove…. its gas… im afraid im gonna kill myself…sticking my head in the oven to peek in and see if i can see that wee bit of blue flame under the pan thingy…and trying turn the knob and adjust the gas flow at the same time….
  • and…last but not least…i was wearing these panties…..

essential sex kitten 2.0.....
i know, i know…. who still wears panties????

but …i do …cause they are cute….

and i was wearing these…

cause they were new…but they were scrunching up under my jeans… sooo….

i decided kamakazi was a better idea…

sooo….. i go to the ladies room…. pull off my jeans… and was taking my panties off…when they got tangled in my 5 inch tall “free gas” stilettos… this sends me careening and i certainly would have fallen completely over…but the stall was small…. so i kinda caught myself with my elbow but not before i slam my hip into the toilet paper holder and in the process… manage to knock my jeans over and into the toilet….. yep…sugarbabies….. being a sex kitten…. is NOT all bonbons and bacon ice cream…

xoxo

sugarbabies…

you know how fickle i can be….

i bore soooo easily…..

so while drifting in and out of a cold medicine induced coma…. (the dr says it is the flu..but im pretty sure it must be the ebola virus…cause ive never been so sick in my life) i left the television porn player tuned to current..

a lot of my friends/family are in the entertainment/media business so …they introduced me to it pretty early and.. well….. when it came up in conversation recently and several folks here in dc didnt know what i was talking about…. i was kinda shocked…

what?? you dont watch current???

babies….its the only channel i DO watch (not counting my guilty pleasures CSI and Law & Order…)

the seven min bursts of viewer created content…kind of annoyingly referred to as “pods”…. is perfect for ADD, pop culture junkies….

i know what you are thinking…you tube…on the tv…but thats not quite it…..

nobody has been more surprised than me over the past year or two at the consistently good content…provided by everyday assholes… us… the viewers…

production values vary and some of the pieces (i just cant call them “pods” sorry…) are glossier than others… but none of it feels like it has been filtered through the mainstream news channels, executive committees or test marketed in the midwest…that alone makes it feel..well not quite raw..but fresh…

now dont get me wrong…its not the wild west… and not EVERY idiot gets his piece on the tely… although a few memorable ones for me included:

  • following along when a chick goes for her first colonic… it was a train wreck i couldnt turn away
  • a transgendered llama farmer that repeatedly (and kinda creepily) referes to his llama as sexy legs…
  • a libertarian conspiracy to take over new hampshire …which actually sounds kinda cool…

but more often than not the stories are small…personal… and… surprisingly good…

  • russian skin heads that have taken to attacking immigrants or non-russians and posting the videos online
  • sloppy joe night at an orphanage in kenya… where all the children have HIV
  • three generations of soldiers speak candidly about war
  • a water gun spy/assassination tournament….. geek much?
  • a street art program here in DC that interviews local artist James Coleman

there is a process to getting your video on current… and frankly….im not sure what it is….cause i have never taken the time to figure it out… but it involves the website and prob. some other stuff…

and oh yeah… i forgot..i think al gore is on the board of the company that owns current…. so i guess now he can say he invented television too… but whatevs…. i still like it..

i think you can find it everywhere…..here in dc on….cockcast channel 107 … and 366 on direct tv….

enjoy…

and tomorrow il type up the stuff you realllly come here for… the trash talk about the boys and who i may have infected with the ebola virus…

xoxo

sugababies…

i cant remember the last time i had sex…

sad… i know…

meanwhile my electric bill has tripled…go figure…

things i heart...

maybe the dry spell is because

ive been sick… for like a solid month…flu-eeeww

OR maybe

because ive been traveling …though now that i think about it… that rarely stops me …

…i kinda heart –on the road sex

not IN the ROAD sex..although ok ok id prob like that too… but yeah..umm where was i?? On the Road Sex…yeah… its great..

  • nobody wants to be your “boyfriend”… AND
  • nobody goes looking for your blog…

… its not not as good as my HITACHI…. but hell…so few things in life are….dear baby jebus..thank you for the hitachi …i*heart* it very very much….

but seriously…even if it is only to get Al Gore and his team of smaller carbon footprint hippies…off my back *so to speak*…..

i should realllly get laid….soon…..

ok..ok… back to our regularly scheduled programming…

things i heart:

PINK

i cant believe nobody invented this before now!

pinkits vodka WITH caffine…

now there is no need for me to drink coffee in the morning!!! i can go straight to vodka tonics with no reservations….and its pretty…

ZOLA

the lobster mac and cheese… still my fave comfort food… add the

bombe chocolate bombe and…

well this blond..is in a lil culinary comfort coma… not to mention snuggling in their bar all cozy and candlelit watching the world walk by freezing their nuts off… is a great way to spend an evening and a couple of hundred bucks….

BLISS

i know my life is really great… because i can honestly say that some days…the biggest decision i have to make.. is…

lemon + sage OR vanilla + bergamot (its a fruit thing..i had to google it too)

things i heart...things i heart...

but then i love all bliss…

call me a bliss junkie…

who can resist

soft, slippery AND smells good… whats not love??

and last but certainly not least….

i heart this place…

CRAZY BLIND DATE

these folks will set you up on a date in like fifteen min!..i know… i know….

it sounds a little dangerous… but damn….. y’all know me… i like that in a date!

xoxo

hi sugarbabies…..

i had a post allll about my weekend and putting up the vintage aluminum christmas tree… and how i got some cowboys to help me…and the speeding ticket …. that would have been “reckless” ’cause well you know…..evidently i changed lanes something like 7 times in three miles…and at speeds over 75mph…. i didnt tell him i would have been doing about 95 BUT i was texting someone….

ok yeah..well nevermind about alll that…. cause….*sigh* last night…i found the PuuuuRFECT trench coat… you know ….tan …shoulder epaulets … a perfectly proportioned collar…belted… just the right length (neverrr happens)… the poor thing is just beggging….as in on its knees …. for some dark glasses ….. and naughty underthings…..

blond ultimatum...

a christmas freaking miracle…..

ahh…. im sooo in love……

xoxo

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