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noblesse oblige…

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sugarbabies..

at this moment…im so enamored just tickled pink with these lil pitchers that gurgle…

xoxo

sugarbabies..

i wrote you kids a really great post(trust me it was a good one) today

about what big ole pick up trucks do to me..

and how i prob woulda married a couple of guys if they coulda made me feel … the way i feel when i pull up next to a monster truck on constitution avenue… *swooon*

and how something about the promise of a high lonesome /down -n- dirty combo along with a hemi…is pretty much irresistible

and how its the ying to my yang….

how coaxing a throaty growl out of sex on wheels when we are at a light, with the top down… and a soon to be patented “sideways- chin on shoulder- glance over the ray bans”… next to a big fella pretty much guarantees a tire squeal for attention or plea for coffee on craigslists missed connections…

about how ….i have fantasies of driving up behind one of these guys…they drop the tailgate…and it turns into a ramp….and i roll up into the bed… all at like 75 mph. like a total smokey and the bandit move….

and

how opposites must really attract … cause i dont really like guys in sports cars… seriously? the italian ones are tooooo high maintenance and seem like they are trying tooo hard…kinda euro douchy…

the american ones seem kinda silly except maybe a few vettes…

the germans do a good job…but something about dudes in sports cars just smacks of midlife crisis or insecurities…and dont even make me have the  gay or european conversation…

no…

i like men who drive sturdy dependable all wheel drives….and if they can handle a dually in the city…*sigh*…what cant they handle???…surely a headstong lil girl like me would be no trouble at all……

but then wordpress crashed and i lost the whole damn thing… and umm yeah im waaay tooo lazy to do the whole thing again… sorry sugarbabies…. but the jist of it is… im waiting…waiting for a man that makes me feel the way i feel when a dually pulls away from me and parallel parks on 14th st….THATS all i want…is that so much?

xoxoxo

sugarbabies…

y’all generally give me a week to organize my thoughts … but…umm…lately… a few of y’all are stomping your feet rather impatiently… soo… rather than ignore you… (which ive been known to do … and will prob do again)

you get a “sloppy quickie” which in my world translates into …. a tidy lil list…. until i feel like sitting down and …banging out… you know… one that leaves you breathless…

… sooooo lets see now….

THINGS I DID

  • stayed out til 4 am dancing and laughing with an old friend…. note: that is actually how long it took for my feet to start hurting in those wicked 5 inch heels..but i think by the end of that night i could have been in puma’s and my feet woulda hurt
  • watched the sun come up from the roof of a building that you need at least a “top secret” clearance to get into
  • watched the redskins lose but didnt really care…. cause i had a cold beer and good friends sooo…whatevs
  • went to a “basement bhangra” party – with dj rekha – accidentally… and was reallly glad i did…. it was awesome
  • almost ran over flirted with a group of about 6 FFX cops..in TC’s hood… while they stood in the middle of the street…hhhhmm.. i thought only dc cops did that shit…..
  • mistook a tween Hannah Montana fan for a cancer victim…(evidently they wear wigs too…who knew??)
  • exchanged broken porn player to Best Buy…third circle of hell…. i swear to god… i wanted to fire bomb those sons of bitches… (im on the third one now for anyone keeping score)
  • had a migrane headache for the better part of two days
  • discovered the best won-ton soup ive ever had ….. here
  • lost and then found (thank the sweet baby jeebus) the front tag on “sex on wheels“…im such a lucky bitch …well that…..and the guys in my parking garage looove me…

a quickie can be a good thing...

  • rode around for two days with the top down ….its january people…. so i decided to just sell the hard top for my car… im just waaay to optimistic to really ever put the HARD TOP on… you just never know…
  • sent a fist full of thank you notes out…

THINGS I NEED TO DO

  • shop for bat mitzvah gifts (suggestions from the chosen among you welcome) before sat
  • hair color appt… (it aint easy being this blond) tomorrow 1130 am
  • eat some vegetables… ive only eaten crap for two months now
  • laser hair removal appt for my legs..im soo done with shaving them EVERY morning …friday 9am
  • cancel two of my three gym memberships…i can get by on a single gym in 2008…
  • write a real post for this freaking blog…. about allll the stuff you babies have been patiently waiting for… the good stuff….. the bad stuff and esp…… the boy stuff…..

xoxo

the good thing about not cooking…. (in that way) is…..

you can use the dishwasher AND the oven for storage…

in 2008 im gonna try a few of Lemmonex’s recipes!!!

I can cook!..just not THAT way...

dear god i hope i remember to take the empty pizza boxes out of the oven BEFORE i turn it on…..

NOTE: blond observation…

damn…. soccer moms …frantically trying to get to a hannah montana concert with a  mini van full of tween girls are ABSOLUTLEY the worst drivers EVER….come on bitches….you make teenage boys sweating a tokyo drift  look responsible….

xoxo

sugarbabies…

i know i know… i complained a lot…but… last week.. i was on my own.. no A-cups….

by thursday night i was begging friends to search their purse for stray valium… thank god i have the kind of friends that

a) have stray valium in their purse and

b) are generous enough to share…

soooo… last week..i worked thirteen hour days… and not just lunching and cocktailing my way through the day..nope… i answered th phone, i filed (at least now i have an excuse for my bucked-up manicure), i even MADE MY OWN COFFEE…damn it…

I Miss My Little A-Cups

little a-cups found a great new job…good for her…i suppose…i mean TOLD her to “look”… but damn… i thought it would take a while!!! damn damn damn…poor planning on my part what with the holidays and all…

oh fuck…now i sound like a whiny diva…sorry santa baby…

but damn… i think i am…and obviously it takes a “team”…to be this..umm…whats the word??… sane??

soooo this morning i promptly placed an add…

there has to be some college kid out there who wants to make the coffee and run “sex on wheels” through the car wash … i think… i could have done it last week… if it hadnt been for the coffee thing… a girl neeeds her caffine…. and cocktails….damn…i realllly wish i had time to make this clever and all…..well…..umm… it would be wayyy better if i had an assistant…

but… now…

…i have to go to Neiman Marcus….im gonna have to stock the supply closet myself…mother of god…this is dangerous…its freaking christmas time…. i should NOT be within 200 yards of a certain pair of patent leather valentino platform stilettos… this can only lead to sex reallllly bad behavior….

xoxo

hi sugarbabies…

well… i learned a little something about myself this week… well actually my assistant “A-cups” brought it to my attention…

she started with…“of all the places ive ever worked… you certainly have your own ideas about how to properly stock an office supply closet” she went on to say….something along the lines of… never before having to go to Neiman Marcus to “re-stock” the office supplies….

evidently (and how would i know???) not all supply closets feature the same items…personally… i think it just depends on your type of work…. but…since we have been moving our office ….we did a little inventory:

  • Three shades of Chanel Nail Polish (vamp, noir, and shanghai red)….
  • Emergency Aqua Ban…
  • Emergency stash of valium
  • Two pair of Lucky Brand Jeans
  • Two Johnson Motors Inc. T Shirts
  • Various bottles of assorted hotel shampoos/conditioners/lotions etc..
  • One black Kenneth Cole swim suit
  • STACKS of Paper Source Luxe Blush flat cards and envelopes
  • One bottle of eyelash adhesive (no eyelashes…must be time to re-order)
  • One bottle of Chanel No. 5
  • Several Strobe Lights (dont ask)
  • A stack of “why not Kinky in 2006″ bumper stickers
  • A few ladies “intimates” …boom chika wah wah
  • Two Sage and Citrus electric room scents..my office smells wicked good
  • One red table cloth
  • One spare case of Voss water… sparkling
  • One pair of pointy black stilettos
  • One pair of puma sneakers
  • One pair of strappy sandles
  • Five pages of Mendez vs. Westminster first class stamps
  • Stacks of cool cds including: steve earle, johnny cash, thievery corp, my life with the thrill kill kult, marilyn manson, beck, old 97’s and heather nova…
  • One vintage racing helmet
  • One Medium Black Overnight Bag
  • One small guitar amp
  • One case of Letter sized premium multi purpose paper
  • One box of yellow highlighters
  • One box of pens
  • One toner cartridge…. that we have NO IDEA what machine it might go in…
  • Two small sesow paintings

I explained to her that i only know what supplies it takes for ME to function..i have no idea what IBM considers a properly stocked supply closet…

What i am sure of….is..

that if we had what i can only imagine are more “traditional” supplies in our closet…

we wouldnt have to go to Office Depot almost every day….

BUT….

office depot isnt THAT bad… i dont mind going…

its worth it…. to be able to say…

“sure… i can be on that flight to the bahamas tonight”

some things that are more important than efficiency….

xoxo

sugarbabies…

Kevin Mitnick

this guy is my new hero crush..for today…but not for the obvious reasons…

  • not because he is like the father of all things hacker…that is kinda cute in an 80’s wargames way
  • not because he obviously has a lust for satisfying intellectual curiosity… and thats hot
  • not because he has a healthy wariness of all things government…and they are wary of him (rebels are hot)
  • not because he is soooo smart…that he scares people… smart ..is …you guessed it… hot
  • not because prison gave him street cred…and now that he has gone legit … he runs his own computer security firm

nope… thats not why….

its because the dude…

has what is pretty much the undisputed

best.business card.ever

mitnick

AND..he will send you one ..for a nominal two dollar charge …cash only please..(i love him)

Send your IP address and password to:
2245 N. Green Valley Parkway
Suite 411
Henderson, NV 89014

Due to countless requests for my business card, I now have to charge USD $2.00 to cover my cost for each card. Please enclose $2 cash only plus a self-addressed stamped envelope, otherwise you can attend one of my speaking engagements to obtain a free card.

although..im not sure i recommend sending the worlds greatest hacker your ip address…whatever… all you can get off my machine is porn..and im all for sharing..lol

but i think i will wait…i’d rather shake his hand and get one from him in person….im not sure when he will be in town…but..that is one of the good things about DC….eventually..

they all come….

xoxo

Sugarbabies…

the shy should take cover…..JULIETTE HAS A GUN..
is now available in the US!!!!

im gonna have to actively seek sugar daddies..or mommies..that want me to smell sexy… cause …..oh sugarbabies have you ever seen anything that looked more like it B-F-ing-longs with me than….

this…you know you want me to have it

now available in the US at Henri Bendel..AND Fred Segal… and god bless fred segal..cause now they have opened an internets mecca for the few of us that DONT live in LA…. known simply and elegantly enough as..fredsegalbeauty.com… 

y’all know that for the past few months…at night… i have been dropping to my knees…(not JUST for that you goofs) praying to the sweet baby jeeeesus to deliver unto me the new romano ricco scents…. mostly miss vengeance… but whatever…any of em..and now it seems he is listening to me!! How cool…i think i have a direct line…  so if y’all have requests of the sweet baby jeeeesus..i will try to talk to him for you…

soooo..right now i hate wordpress… (and i rarely say hate…so you know im feeling passionately at the moment….) 

but the wordpress-no- java-widget-nazis…. dont want me to smell sexy….and they are coming between me and the sweet baby jeeesus…. cause they wont let me add a tip jar to my side bar… soooo… im gonna be reduced to batting my eyelashes at boys in bars… and then slipping them the intel..

my holster is empty…. and im not the kinda girl that likes to get caught without a gun….

xoxo

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Twitter…try to keep up…ok??