You are currently browsing the tag archive for the ‘boom chicka wah wah’ tag.

sugarbabies……. oh my…. i do hope YOU have been behaving yourselves…because…i surely havent…which i know …is the way you like it…

Now where to begin??????

maybe with the little piles of sawdust that the bed ground out of the hardwood floors from well.. you know…. …. boom chicka wah wah…. thats right… full on sawdust…yes..im a LUCKY bitch i know…. seriously ALMOST as good as the sawdust was the call a few days later from the housekeeper:

“suicide_blond i is calling you..cause you know… you must have the termites….do you want that i save the sawdust or just vacuum it up?? ok ok i get you those lil things that save the floor…*heavy sigh… while …i imagine her crossing herself , shaking her head and  quietly judging me”

or… maybe with how i sat cross legged on the upstairs sofa at busboys and poets sipping my 6th mimosa when my phone rang… hmmmm…. older rich guy who crushes too hard….wonder what he wants?… so i answer… yeah… um…hes totally calling from his beach house… because…

“im going through my expenses and i noticed there were NO SUICIDE BLOND charges this month…are you ok???”

seriously??? dude you called cause i HAVENT spent any of your money???  have you turned on the news??? do you even still have any money??? if you want to talk to me …just say so… then… i told him i couldnt go to dinner with him when he gets back to town…(all the while thinking of the sawdust under my bed)…. after alll of that….

he asked if i wanted anything from his “fleet” for the winter…you know… so i wont have to drive sex on wheels out in the snow… i told him that under NO circumstances would i drive the hummer…he laughed…. he offered the new mercedes… dude…. I KNOW that YOU DONT KNOW…and maybe if you did know more than just what you paid for it i would have time to go to dinner with you but thats another story… but the benz is rear wheel drive…same as sex on wheels… not good in the snow…but i agreed…cause…its HIS and id rather crash his car than mine ( i know call me a dirty selfish whore….just… pull my hair when you say it.)

so theres that…

you say bitch...like its a bad thing...

you say bitch...like its a bad thing...

or maybe we should talk about how i seem to have been struck by the Curse of the Venus Embrace

(yeah…its not some crazy ninja sex position..i wish it was….)

i know that even speaking of curses is bad luck …. and that the hoodoo associated with this particular curse is verrrrrrrrry strong….but …anything for you sugarbabies…as i wouldnt want any of YOU to fall prey….

i saw it….in the triple B and thought hmmm…5 BLADES OF GLORY…… heck i’ll be smooth as barry white….no boy will be able to resist…. alas….EVERY time i used the cursed thing… i ended up alone with my hitachi… on several occasions…i thought i had shaken the bad juju off that thing and that SURELY tonight would be the night…so i even used the exotic soaps from Turkey… and put on the fancy french lingerie…but… to no avail…as i said….the hoodoo is strong…i certainly would have tossed that $hit in the potomac but sugarbabies….. i spent thirty dollars on a pkg of blades…and thats a lot of cheese when youre in the middle of a global financial crisis… sooo…now that the economic downturn has begun to mess with my love life… $hit has got to give… although… in case you were wondering….

i am verrrrry smoooooth….

xoxo

Advertisements

sugarbabies…

there are a LOT of reasons to buy original artwork…. one of my faves is …cause they ship it wrapped in enough bubble wrap to cover the ENTIRE bed….

xoxo

sugarbabies….

lots of stuff in life these days….is fast…and getting faster…

sex on wheels cruises nicely around 90… and my new aircard (when i can get all four bars) is lightning fast (woot!)…summer…flew by like it was on a rocket…

now dont get me wrong…most days..i love the fast lane…

it may be where i feel most comfortable…its what im used to…i rarely sleep in the same bed more than two or three nights in a row…

but then there are the other days…

when you just wanna slam on the brakes..and catch your breathe… and maybe… stay in bed alllll day…tangled up in sweaty sheets with a lanky cowboy…

and on those days…well…sometimes it feels like im just doing what i can to hold on…

sooo….while its not uncommon to find me running through an airport… this time…

amazingly…

i couldnt tell you WHY i was running…

i wasnt late…

i had my ticket…

i had cleared security…

i had a good thirty min til the first boarding call…

but i definitely felt compelled

…to run…

and well… ask ANYONE who knows me…. running….is NOT something i do…

nope…

i cant think of a single time before … when i have ever felt compelled to run…

mild OCD causes me to rearrange the fridge more often than i like to admit…but …running…not so much

yet…here i was…

5 inch louboutins be damned…tumi bag over my shoulder…running…

i just wish i knew…

…sugarbabies…

if i was running AWAY from or TOWARD…

…something…

and while i cant be sure…

truthfully ….

i suspect it was a little of both…

xoxo

“Ive got a little mama she is really built for speed

all shes got to do is ask me &  i give her what she needs

she likes to take my hot rod out at night

she likes to park it where its dark and tight..

faster faster pussycat lets go…

faster faster..she dont want to go slow…”

-Pink & Black

sugarbabies..

take notes :

dont let any of the following facts stop the party:

  • its a weekday…and the sun is coming up….
  • that you both have to be at work in a few hours….(but babies…that poor thing he didnt quite make it into the office….bless his heart)
  • that you have a plane to catch (another one leaves every two hours)
  • that you have made out soo hard..that you have rubbed your nose raw….on his scruffy bits...(mmmmeoooowrrr…dont you just love boys sometimes…)
  • that you need to leave a note for the housekeeper that says “boom chika wah wah” which loosely translates to “please wash the sheets”

and oh yeah…having one boy bring you coffee at 6 am so that you can be awake enough to have another boy bring you coffee at 7am….is wrong on sooo many levels…but …its what happened this morning…

and silly me…i thought mondays were good…

xoxo

sugarbabies…

a few reasons that today doesnt suck….

  • last night had dinner with a few girls and a cute group of boys…. the cutest of which was only about… ohh.. 16 inches tall… and a snuggler (no worries..that is NOT a clock ticking…)
  • dragged ….. the cutest (over 16 inch tall) of the boys home with me…
  • had a great breakfast….. the most important meal of the day…
  • ran into a friend on a realllly early morning coffee run… when i ordered TWO coffees… she looked at me over the top of her glasses .. i looked back at her… over the top of my glasses… and replied……boom chicka wah wah…
  • found my missing fionna apple cd
  • rode into the office (topless) singing along loudly

ive been a bad bad girl…ive been careless with a delicate man…and its a sad sad world… when a girl will break a boy ..just because she can

  • when i got to the office… someone had brought in bagels..

..what can i say…all that umm.. “breakfast”..

a girl can work up an appetite..

xoxo

Cache

Advertisements