nauti

Shopping the Net - the Friday the 13th & Valentine Edition
The British are Coming!

You are my Sunshine...
Full Disclosure: I haven’t always been a fan of Kate Spade. I had pretty much written her line off as designed for high school mean girls and interns.
but … recently I was really enchanted when I was in the shop…
Maybe its my pink hair, or the long winter making me appreciate the lightheartedness of the bright frocks, and baubles or…
maybe it was karma reminding me to
give everyone/thing a 2nd or 3rd  sometimes 4th chance.
So as I sit here with a cup of tea watching the snow fall…aggggaaain.
I will share a few of my Grannys words:
“sometimes … YOU have to be the sunshine you want in the world.”
          Maybe this lil collection of sunny items (most of which are on SALE) from
Kate Spade can help us all find our inner
sunshine & brighten our world a bit today.
xoxo

      

if you didn’t have fancy cheese, a fresh baguette, and

drink champagne with friends while dying your hair pink…

and then pull on your sequined pants and attend a fancy soiree-

and alledgedly afterward smuggle a few bottles of veuve clicquot & cupcakes into an iconic dive bar

(ok i gave the doorman the cupcakes )

to possibly drink surreptitiously on the dance floor…

and maybe share with the dj..

who mixed old school hip hop til four in the morn…

well then… your head probably doesn’t hurt as much as mine…

xoxo

sooo… I’m not saying my life is glamorous…

but IF I happen to be snuggled up in a comfy bathrobe, curled up on the sofa with a cup of warm coffee and a tiny dog…while a lovely pair of ladies model vintage fur coats on the internets for me, from a swanky antique store in Atlanta –

well I could see where you might jump to that conclusion…

xoxo

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photo by chris arnade

 

“She wears a long fur coat of mink
Even in the summer time
Everybody knows from the coy little wink
The girl’s got a lot on her mind

They made love and by the seventh wave
She knew she had a problem
She thought real love is real scary
Money only pays the rent
Love is forever
That’s all your life
Love is heaven sent
It’s glamorous

She wants to lead the Glamorous Life
She don’t need a man’s touch
She wants to lead the Glamorous Life
Without love
It ain’t much
It ain’t much”

~ Shelia E

 

 

 

party safe tonight kids!

party safe tonight kids!

*swoon*
finnnnallly a limited release date set for April…

so i had a dream last night…

i found a dead baby bird… but everyone i went to about it kept calling it a fossil…I insisted that we should bury it and would anyone help me but they all replied it was a fossil and should be dug up…

This morning I couldn’t shake my dream.. and –we humans are an odd lot… we do indeed feel it’s completely ok to desecrate graves merely because they have been there for a long time… Time seems so relative and what we consider a “long” time is not more than a moment in the universe. Don’t you think if aliens came to earth a took a look about they would think us silly for burying the dead and then a bit later digging them up and displaying them … not just humans but all sorts of dead…its quite trendy to have fossils in your countertops these days.

but then….in my dream… the dog got everyone’s attention – i don’t know how- and we all walked to brunch… on a patio…

soo… basically

DC in a nutshell…

xoxo

Batman and Bride..

“be yourself, unless you can be batman…always be batman”
I love this cake…This DC bride doesn’t suck….

That kind of luxe..just aint for us…

I am a city girl… i wear all black…maybe some gray …maybe some olive green… everything in my closet matches everything else…

that said…

i don’t usually like black lingerie…i mean of course its classic, goes with everything….etc etc..but…**yawn**

i like my naughty bits wrapped in neon pink, pushed up with lime greens, wrapped tightly in leopard prints. Azure blue peeks out from under my sweater when the neckline slides too far in any direction…yellow mesh with bits of pink ribbon laced corset style up the cup… blue and white gingham ruffles over lace… yes love, that IS a bit of blaze orange under Karl Lagerfelds silk georgette camo blouse… black would work i guess…but the orange….the orange takes it up a notch…even if nobody sees…even if no one whispers “are you wearing orange under there?” and even if nobody kisses my neck while their hands find a way to push up my sweater in the back of a town car on the way home  ….  i know…. and that is usually enough to keep my shoulders back and posture tall when my feet hurt and I’m at my 3rd round of drag shows for the weekend…and the envelope of white powder being passed round the table is a new body glitter – i cant make this stuff up – also i am slightly mortified to announce that there may or may not be pix of me circulating on the internet with a man wearing a hat made entirely of gilded dongs…

and yes …if you want your knickers to have hooks and snaps and ribbons…. where? yes there… then Europe has always been the best place to buy … and yes it costs more than is reasonable… and it can be hard, even for me,  to justify $130.00 for a thong… but then…then… you find that your favorite source for fun colors, quality laces and, extreme designs has come out with a new line inspired by Monica Cruz the lil sister of Penelope Cruz….and its designed by the sisters… and it’s priced at a very flattering price point that says special but not out of reach

meet  L’Agent the new collaboration with luxury lingerie label Agent Provocateur

*sigh* im particularly fond of the “monica” set…but how to choose a color?!?

here is the video NSFW… and oh wait is that lil sis Monica Cruz in her last trimester making an adorable appearance at about 1:17 …oh…i think it is…

Available from Nordstrom (online only… best i can tell – their lingerie manager never called me back :-/  ) if you want free shipping to anywhere…

or from Net A Porter if you prefer yours to come in a lil black box…that seems just the right amount of mysterious..maybe even naughty…

xoxo

Happy Columbus day... or as I like to call it...

laundry day

wind and rain

i dont mind the wind and the rain this week…… summers over…..i like the definitiveness of it.

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they’re wrong, wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard
and answered when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us star gazing
and what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell. We know that it’s probably magic.

Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that called the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
It’s something that I’m supposed to be.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

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Born in the USA

happy 4th of July…
xoxo

Baltic Amber Earrings in Shoes & Accessories Jewelry Earrings at BHLDN.

I’m not stranger to fake…

in the south back when i was a kid there wasn’t much you wouldn’t suffer for beauty… it was a duty…you repped a clan…

so … i come by it naturally and when i tell you if there is a beauty treatment out there…i have probably tried it… 

I’ve had hair extensions glued to my head.

I was one of the first to sign up for a needle loaded with botchelism… to the face.

i’ve had hot wax applied to nearly every place you can think would be a bad place to put hot wax…yep even there… and oh yeah and pour some bleach in there too!

i have had formaldehyde applied to my hair in a series of “treatments” that required the hairdresser to wear a gas mask.

I have had lasers applied directly to my face and underarms.

I have rolled about in a can of ultra violet light & been full body sprayed with a chemical im allergic  to (go figure) …

I have had a pedicure that involves putting your feet in a bucket full of flesh eating fish…(trust me…just use a fucking pumice stone)

i have had polished bits of acrylic glued to my fingers..hey it was the 80’s

I have dyed my hair every color in nature and few that are not.

“Ancient art of Threading”..sure i’ve tried it…

I’ve gone to sketchy basements in Alexandria for a “super facial” that “wasn’t FDA approved YET….but they do it in europe all the time”

sooooo naturally… when on a rainy sat afternoon i found myself in the basement of a row house in chinatown for “eyelash extensions”…i wasn’t worried…

in no time at all i was on my back … hot wax stripping stray hairs from my brows …while a tiny lady i had never seen before used scotch tape to hold my lower lashes down…then she set about basically hot gluing individual eyelashes into place…and when i say in place i mean…right up next to my eyeballs… with very pointy tweezers…

all i could think as tears rolled down my TAPED . OPEN . EYES… and into my ears… was “FML…what have i gotten myself into. I cant believe i am paying for this… the least she could do is crack a whip “…instead she gave me pearls of beauty wisdom … for keeping my lashes tidy for as long as possible… things like :

dont sleep on your face

dont wash your face

if you get something in your eye -just blink

dont take hot showers

“i can only do so much ..it takes work from you for these to look good” were her words …

i dont know if i’ve just reached a place in my life where i dont give a shit anymore… maybe im not even “able to give a shit” …maybe i have bigger concerns than my fucking eyelashes??

but a wise woman once said…

“look here honey…

pull “delicately” on the outer edge…line up…and press down…. hold… hold… repeat”

i was 10 years old when my granny showed me how to dot the glue and spread it with a tooth pick… and apply false eyelashes…that cost 4 dollars at cvs….

and three days later you wont be walking round with a “clump” of eyelashes missing cause you took a hot shower…

xoxo

soooo….

you know that thing where over the years …fellas buy you nice lingerie… but then for whatever reason; doesnt fit, doesnt flatter, you never see the guy again, you gain 5 lbs, you lose 5 lbs, it has hot pink ruffles trimmed in red velvet (sounds sexy …but isnt…trust me),  or maybe your mom owns the same “retro underpinnings” etc etc…

and so one day while trying to make a bit of room in your closet you start pulling out all these nwt booty shorts and sequined bustiers and …

well…

what the fuck do you do with them??? i cant just toss em…i cant….and i dont think you can donate “intimates” to anyone…

maybe i  should start some sewing project that uses bits of chantilly lace and ribbon… but i have no idea what that would be a… quilt of broken dreams? maybe a stuffed animal, a bunny or sex kitten??but that seems kinda creepy…

im considering a box that says free to good home … and just sitting it out on the stoop… watch the natives pillage ….

if anyone has any ideas… im listening!

xoxo

in love with lavender
via: wayne white

via: wayne white

im thinkin this painting …pretty much sums up my life… in optimal keywords/tags…

xoxo

 

 

 

“What flag will i bear? what beast worship? what shrine besiege? what hearts break? what lies tell? – And walk through whose blood?? “

~ Arthur Rimbaud

the bravest among us might well be the poets…

in 1871 at the age of 16 he wrote the following about becoming a poet… a seer…

“I’m now making myself as scummy as I can. Why? I want to be a poet, and I’m working at turning myself into a seer. You won’t understand any of this, and I’m almost incapable of explaining it to you. The idea is to reach the unknown by the derangement of all the senses. It involves enormous suffering, but one must be strong and be a born poet. It’s really not my fault”

by age 20 he had given up all creative writing…by 37 he was dead…

Godspeed to the Libertines the poets and restless souls who go before us…

happy valentines day…

xoxo

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

noblesse oblige…

I had every intention of writing about how im not nearly as high maintenance as folks likes to think….that just because i like a “day” body wash (citrusy) and a separate “night” one (calming) …only means i have a sensitive sensory system…

that asking him to hold the water bottle for me so i can drink like a hamster is more an expression of how much energy i can put into a zesty session…

but the thing is… at best… they are superficial character markers and if what my granny used to say is true

the true measure of a person is the company they keep…

then… you should all know i have an amazing circle of friends who continuously through the years… good times and bad… are there for me with offers of help…shoulders…vodka tonics…baseball games…puppy walks…tacos… or midnight text convos filled with encouragement…

some of you i dont even know irl.. and it matters not a bit…

yall are the best… and a special shout out to the ones lost this year –godspeed– and the new ones  gained ~welcome~…

thank you and you are all sooo special and appreciated i wish i was one of those writers… who string together perfect words … alll i have is

thank you….

and all the best in the new year

xoxo

Sent with love from the road less traveled- (aka my iPhone) xoxo

sooooo…. while attending a birthday party …with a red carpet entrance and a fancy catering company….and assorted swankily dressed gallery folk, performance artists ,  and tycoon types  … i struck up a conversation with a young man who told me he was a “designer”… i felt a bit of kinship…. not long into the convo he told me he didnt know who Frank Lloyd Wright was…

i couldnt take him seriously…WHO ARE YOU and what public school system let you down so badly ???

Then last week i told a graphic “designer” that i needed the font she used to be a Sans Serif preferably Ariel or Helvetica… she used Times New Roman- a type with a heavy serif…and a shitty boring one at that…

WTF… if she didnt know what it meant she could have just googled it…

who is this new crop of “designers” that are completely ignorant of basic design concepts…

they are driving me to drink…also the fancy birthday party …was for a dog… 

just shoot me

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me: i didnt finish..i paused for dramatic effect…

Him: **blink blink**

xoxo

What I want, you’ve got
And it might be hard to handle

But like the flame that burns the candle

The candle feeds the flame

What I’ve got’s full stock of thoughts
and dreams that scatter
You pull them all together
And how, I can’t explain
But You make my dreams come true
On a night when bad dreams become a screamer
When they’re messin’ with the dreamer
I can laugh it in the face
Twist and shout my way out
And wrap yourself around me
‘Cause I ain’t the way that you found me
I’ll never be the same
‘Cause You make my dreams come true
I’m down on the daydream
That sleepwalk should be over by now
I know that You make my dreams come true”

growing up in the south is by definition…gothic…

some of the darkest souls i know are wrapped in brightly colored lily pulitzer sundresses….

xoxo

your hair color always looks best just as you start to open the manic panic cotton candy pink dye …
xoxo

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