baby its cold outside…

party safe tonight kids!

doggie daycare…it aint for pu$$ies…

Daycare called to ask if they could put

almost 4lb Alice

in with the big dogs today …

evidently shes a bit “feisty” this morning…

2 hours later i called to check on her….

“oh … we put her back in with the little dogs…

she was TERRORIZING the big dogs“

great…

dear baby jebus…please do not let Alice get kicked out of private school… my mother will never let me live it down….and i think im starting to understand what she meant when she used to say …i hope you have one JUST LIKE YOU…

xoxo

how to date a gazillionaire in 10 easy steps:

oh sugarbabies…   a weekend is a terrrible thing to waste! whats that?? you dont have dinner plans?? no worries sugar…just follow these quick easy steps :

1. get your hair done
2. drop the top
3. (this one  is important) …get lost in great falls ( where the median home value 1.5million)
4. agree to buy lunch in exchange for directions back to DC
5. forget your wallet (doh!)
6. agree to make it up to him and buy DINNER …IF he ever gets lost in your neck of the woods 😉
7. wait 24 hours for him to call saying he’s “lost” at the capital grille @ 6^th and Pennsylvania
8. agree to rescue him (and thank heavens you know a few of the staff so its not toooo weird that he somehow found your number -and trust me it aint easy-)
9. pull a particularly sweet pair of pradas out of their box
10. … let nature take its course….

xoxo

the goods…

oh sugrbabies!! have you been behaving yourselves??? i thought not… me either… crazy right?? … who would have thought id be rain soaked and cold on a friday afternoon in June… when im in DC? the gods must be crazy…

speaking of…

lets see…

i know you want the goods….soo… lets see what i ve got for you….

the actor… well… between our schedules… we’ve barely had a chance to see each other…. oh well… maybe when the run is over we will get a chance to make up for lost time…on a beach… in Cali…fingers crossed… reservations made…

i know iknow iknow..you are dying to hear about “the party” the one with the good invite…but you’ll have to wait…sorry to be a tease but…no time to write it all down just yet…but … it wasnt disappointing! if for no other reason than the unexpected celeb factor…oh my…

the latest obsession im totallllly in love with these… someone order them for me …pretty please!

the entertainment lawyer… he lives in NYC… we met in TX …our first date was in LA… seems like he can keep up…but i have to ask myself….can i? seriously…all this stuff has me feeling like a week in my own bed with some netflix…would soooo be in order right about now…

the roommate… welll i know what youre thinking… reallly?? a roomie?? for you?? no way! …but yes….i know i know… silly kids…shes great…you hardly know she is there…( i did make it very clear …she cant share my shoes) she doesn’t eat my food (i dont have any there anyway!) shes neat, quiet, doesnt care what is on the tv…doesnt drink my vodka…and yes shes a wee bit on the young side…and yes shes kind of a bitch… like me…and yes we totallllllly stop traffic when we are out on the street together….but as far as roomies go shes perfect…so… we are getting used to each other…her name is alice.

more soon …i promise…

xoxo

i party so you dont have to…

dear sugarbabies…..

the top 10 quotes from the weekend:

10:  “lets totalllly do something cheap tonight”  followed a few hours later later with: “ummm we are gonna need ANOTHER bottle of Dom P. please”

9 i just rocked the red roof inn… where is the limo?

8 we have commandeered a prom vehicle!

7  me:  “put the bottle of vodka in your purse” ….

freckles:  “ok but its uuugh PEACH”

6) me: we went shoe shopping @ Neiman Marcus…thats more intimate than sex….

rothko: ummm dont worry he prob still thinks the sex is more intimate

5) Butterscotch is my safe word

4) there is my favorite blond one! …(flattery and vodka tonics will get you everywhere)

3) we have rented a mansion on 16th st and we are planning a “rager” wanna come??? (OMG!! LNS has moved into my building!! )

2) i cant plan until i find a pair of sequined booty shorts

and drumrollllllll plllleeeaaaasssseee….. the NO. 1 Quote of the weekend comes from our friend freckles:

1)  tell the driver to pull right up to the door….i want to show my Brittney

sugarbabies i party so you dont have to…

xoxo

shipping to a sex kitten…

sugarbabies…

there are a LOT of reasons to buy original artwork…. one of my faves is …cause they ship it wrapped in enough bubble wrap to cover the ENTIRE bed….

xoxo

let them eat cake….

sugarbabies

since my two favorite cooks here and here havent yet posted a recipe/directions…and because my favorite restaurant consultant hasnt pointed me toward a local source that can provide what i need…what we allll need … today i took drastic measures…  and sent the following note:

10.02.2008

via fax: (910) xxx-xxxx

{confidential source redacted bitchez !!}

Dear Mike;

It has recently come to my attention that you sell a famous Chocolate 10 Layer Cake… This is the best news I’ve received in months. My name is {redacted}. I grew up in NC; sadly I don’t get back home often enough. When I was a kid we bought a 10 Layer Cake every Sat at the farmers market. It was awesome.

Nowadays…. I live in Washington DC. I’m not sure if you have heard but lately …well… folks have not been getting along real well here. There is literally arguing in the halls, and even in the fancy steak restaurants. If only we could end the partisan bickering!! I really feel like it would be hard for them to argue if they were eating 10 Layer Chocolate Cake. WHO isnt happy eating a 10 Layer Chocolate Cake??? If I only I could get my hands on a 10 Layer Chocolate Cake- I am pretty sure we could avert a National Financial Disaster!!

I guess this is just a long way of asking:

Can Y’all Ship Those Things???

Sincerely,

p.s. no pressure but global economic stability may very well depend on your answer…

**UPDATE** 10 layers of goodness in transit….yeah thats right TEN LAYERS bitchez!!

sex kitten psychosis…

i dropped my fave MARNI platform stilettos off at the cobbler this morning for a little sole soul…

i feel like a mom who just left her baby at the first day of kindergarten…

i know they will be ok…but i have to keep telling myself that the cobbler is qualified, and that the funny looks were just because they obviously think anyone wearing THOSE shoes and driving THAT car is a stripper …and they feel sorry for me ’cause im getting a bit old to be stripping for a living…NOT because they were planning  to steal my shoes…

xoxo

she wants to play hearts…(with house money)

sugarbabies..

take notes :

dont let any of the following facts stop the party:

• its a weekday…and the sun is coming up….
• that you both have to be at work in a few hours….(but babies…that poor thing he didnt quite make it into the office….bless his heart)
• that you have a plane to catch (another one leaves every two hours)
• that you have made out soo hard..that you have rubbed your nose raw….on his scruffy bits...(mmmmeoooowrrr…dont you just love boys sometimes…)
• that you need to leave a note for the housekeeper that says “boom chika wah wah” which loosely translates to “please wash the sheets”
  

and oh yeah…having one boy bring you coffee at 6 am so that you can be awake enough to have another boy bring you coffee at 7am….is wrong on sooo many levels…but …its what happened this morning…

and silly me…i thought mondays were good…

xoxo

how to make me whimper…

sugarbabies…

im a simple slut girl… and just to prove it.. AGAIN…cause for whatever reason nobody everrr believes me…

10 things that made me whimper with happiness over the last few days…

1. top down ..third gear… on the TR bridge alllll alone…when a Natational airport bound plane crosses right overhead… ahhhhh..the shadow was huge!
2. getting an email from a friend that she missed me and wanted to get a fancy dinner sometime soon…even though ive been a shitty friend of late…
3. anticipating an email from a boy…it was delicious… the wait…AND the email
4. catching a double feature at the DRIVE IN….(you read that right bitchez!)
5. slice of cheese pizza from marios over in the ARL
6. having the UPS man give me a big hug when he saw me this morning….hi honey..im home!!
7. dance halls in Texas with no air conditioning… and NO tolerance for whiners…shut up and dance..
8. making my fave pasta salad and having a rest. manager ask me for the recipe…(no shit…i have a secret ingredient!!!)…in all honesty …he may have just wanted an excuse to chat…but whatever..ill take “cooking” kudos wherever i can get them…
9. witness for the prosecution on TCM
10. crawling into my very own bed…ahhh….

xoxo

back in the saddle…

hi suagarbabies…

call me crazy…but… i like the heat…it feels hard and honest… yesterday…i dropped the top…and let the sun do its worst…i mean really…its not THAT hot if youre doing 85-ish and heading west…to the mountians… to the horse track… to play the ponies… to push your luck….HARD….

about 30 min out of the city….i stopped for a bevvie.. a quickie…iced coffe from starbucks… the hot felt good….(i know im crazy) so i sat down at one of the tables outside of starbucks to chillllax for a few min. and make a few phone calls…(its hard to talk on the phone when youre doing 85-ish with the top down and the music up) ….. soon a crowd of youngsters …they looked like high schoolers but turned out to be college kids….they were gathering around an older dude…that i recognized…but ignored… their tshirts, buttons, and fliers gave them away as politico wannabes and the old dude was reveling in their unabashed adoration… eventually the “campaign manager” turned up…to “organize the interns” ….. thats when he turned his attention to me…. i had known it was coming…so i was ready …i sat languidly sipping my coffee and crossed my legs… swinging a my six inch louboutins into the walkway…. and casually ran my fingers though my hair… tangles… an unavoidable top down consequence.... pushed my chanel sunglasses up off my eyes onto my head and smiled – as he presumptively sat down in other chair at “my” table….

sooo whats a pretty lil thing like you doing out in this heat?…. he asked

i smiled slightly and told him… im not the kind of girl that wilts….

he grinned, pulled his chair closer and…PATTED MY THIGH and said he like people who could “take the heat”….

im not joking…what style of OG old school game is that?????????

then he asked if i was …”into politics”

–seriously…. the dude was working sooo hard to try to get my vote impress me with his political office—–that i almost felt sorry for him….ummmm honey im not one of those doe eyed sorority girls that wants to please you….. nope… i know more than your name…i know your record..

i responded…. “well lover… a more accurate statement would be that …. politicians are into me”

he sat back… i think the word LOVER…scared him…he looked down at the table… and fingered the key to SOW…

him: i saw you drive up….

me: i know…

him: i guess im just gonna ask…will you meet me for dinner later tonight

me: im heading pretty far west tonight love…. maybe next time

him: can i call you

me: only if you talk dirty

him: laughing

me: trust me sugar…im more trouble than you want…

him: you might be right

me: im rarely wrong

him: did’nt i meet you at a party for <insert politician here> last year

me: well i do like to think that if we had met….you’d remember

him: i remember… you had glasses and really high heeled shoes… he nodded toward my louboutins…

me: like i said sugar….you are already in waaay over your head…but ill let you tell yourself your sweating cause of the heat…

him: id really like to take you out sometime…

me: i know…

him: will you call me?

me: probably not…i dont call boys …ever…. but one of my assistants might… you know.. if i had a parking ticket or something…

him: are you even gonna vote for me?

me: is that what the kids call it these days???

him: laughing…im not giving up on this

me: i know

then i picked up my key…and let him watch me walk to SOW…i might have turned up the jiggle a little more than normal… but whateves…im sweet slutty that way….

I pushed 90-ish getting to the racetrack…

thought my luck had run out…

til the 7th…

i walked outside into the heat..down past the track…round to the stables…down close… patted a few sweaty ponies… watched the grooms and jockeys pull saddles down and push bales of hay around… talked to an old friend … and there in the heat with the ponies and the smell of sweat and leather and sweet hay and steamy wet piles of peat….picking my way around the dirty dusty path… with the sun beating down …i cried…hot tears on hot sunburned cheeks …i guess i just didnt want to carry it anymore…and right there…

i put down some of the emotional baggage id been carrying round for the last few weeks…

and i picked the trifecta…

it had a 2 thousand dollar payoff…not bad for a two dollar bet…

im not sure…but…

i think i feel my mojo coming back…..

xoxo

Ridin’ the range once more
Totin’ my old .44
Where you sleep out every night
And the only law is right
Back in the saddle again

-gene autry

Im not a player… i just crush a lot

sugarbabies…

i spent most of the day yesterday …with one of those guys that makes women drool… he was attentive sweet and most importantly…gentle …but in that Im in control here kind of way… that makes you trust him… that and knew exactly what i needed….

i kind of wish we had met under different circumstances…cause it’s a bit embarrassing to be shaking and crying…when you meet your new crush…

later after i had a bit of a buzz…and had prob been talking too much ….. he told me i had “good roots”…

i explained that i was southern…and we agreed that both were good things….

when it was finallllly time for me to go…

he gave me a special number to reach him this weekend… in case i wanted to score drugs…

ahh..

i heart my dentist…

xoxo

fade to blonde…

sugarbabies…

even blonds have bad days… like this morning the time i was driving down constitution ave… and when i pushed the clutch with my left foot….it went to the floor with nary annnnny resistance at all….

ahhhh shit….damn it sex on wheels…. dont die…. dont leave me… i need you… i cant get out of this town without you…im NOT leaving you behind…im NOT leaving you HERE… you hear me?? youre too important to me… you were voted best engineered car by a fancy magazine…. what would i do without you????? we are a team…a tiny little topless hard driving sexy six gears double clutching catching boys off guard team…..and….well…. i know you’ve never heard me say it but…. i love you… there…i said it and i dont care who hears me…i LOVE YOU…. please please…. thats good….thats right…. you can do it… if we can just get over the bridge….i think we can make it…

to be continued…..

xoxo

strippers, hipsters, and cops..oh my!

sugarbabies!!!!! OMG we have sooo much to catch up on!!!!…

let me seee…. where to start????

should i start with…. tracing a little droplet of sweat down the spine of a pretty brazilian stripper with my pinky…while she was on stage…. ah yes….that night ended with an extra hundred bucks tucked neatly in the bra of my ample bosomed girlfriend….a trip to the ER at GW….where the detectives gave me and my bitchin Bestsy Johnson Tiger Fur Coat and 5 inch platform stilettos one of those up and down looks…pulled out their little notebooks and pencils (little pencils..hehehe) …and started the “witness interview” with …”Soooo you work at <insert name of strip club>” to which i responded..”could we hurry this up….i wanna be gone when his wife shows up”…

OR….

should i skip to a party with the beautiful people of dc…. i know… i know…. we dont realllly have beautiful people…but nonetheless…. every LA Wannabe and LNS popped collar in town made their way to ….wait for it…SHAW… to a slightly shady…..you know i looove that about a place….. former garage….now…. a trendy LA-ish lounge….. The Space….

OR…

maybe you wanna hear about …boys… the latest crop….

the good looking older man….who lives close by and cant believe he hasnt run into me before…he has potential… im pretty sure he was on a date when he slid me his card…. ummm suave…but he was soo cute i can prob forgive it….stay tuned…

the tooo young for me hot body…..that …. i teased all night…just cause… well…i was bored

the rockstar who wants to celebrate something…he’ll tell me when he sees me…. great…with my luck..he is pregnant…

the pretty boy from rio..who thought sofa meant sex…and got pouty when i handed him a blanket and a pillow… dude… SOFA…means SOFA….. i would never fault a boy for trying …but NO …still means NO… and when it comes to boys…pouting…..it just isnt sexy…. take it somewhere else…

OR

maybe…you have a fetish…. like mine….and you want to start with the new spring shoes! the Christian Louboutins that look like they will be my faves of the season…

they have already turned a few heads on the street (i even caught a certain good looking older man sneak a subtle double take) —- really they are smoking…they even got the approval of the gay cowboys….who gave me special permission to two-step on their dance floor in them…even though they are not cowboy boots…. just trust me … it was a high honor…. now if only i could two-step…

OR

maybe the TWO separate hospitals not including the GW ER incident…. that housed friends the last two weeks for unrelated but serious medical crap…that necessitated the sending of hi end flowers with cards that read….

just so you know…the mandarin oriental is less expensive AND has better linens….xoxo

OR

maybe the time when a freaking amazon lesbian accused my friend of …get this….i couldnt make this up… Biting her Finger….. oh sweet jjjjeeeeebus…… when the cops showed up …it happened to be a 1D officer i know pretty well… and the amazon lesbian went to jail! OMG….. the fun never stops…..

OR

maybe you just want to hear that it is officially that time of year…and i am once again… running around this town topless…and i have a wee bit sunburn to prove it….

xoxo

If the Rev. asks you to get Naked…

ya gotta …or youll surely go to hell…right??? or is it heaven??? who can tell these days..sugarbabies…

i wrote this back during the summer…but never posted it…cause….i was feeling…uum… discreet….but aww fuck it y’all can have it…enjoy the long weekend…

the town is filling up with funny lil wannabe rockstars and their entourages hangers on groupies ..its been fun to watch sleepy lil austin start to wake up with the influx of all things music festival… technically it starts next week..but the ramping up has begun…austin is whitewashing her fences and…ok ok…..im getting away from the point here…

the reverend…hes hot or maybe a better word is kinda sexy…in that alt country older dude indie music way…. and well…we are allll sinners..right?? so i guess if you sin WITH the reverend or his deacons you can be forgiven pretty easily…and penance is surely not sooo bad… a few hail marys and sore knees ..(oops…. those may be from the sinning)

The catholic in me… (not like that.. assholes) …is always looking for a way out of the sin..ok ok..not true ..more like a work around for forgivness…that way i can go ahead with the sinning whatever the hell i want to do…

knowing that i can rationalize it to st peter..if he gives me any grief at the pearly gates…

personally im not too worried..i never met a door policy i couldnt manage….

(except maybe an older black lady guarding the bar of a “private event” at the kennedy center….and she wasn’t falling for any eye batting or slutty shoes)

so when the reverend horton heat and his deacons said ….

“hey cutie whats shaking back at your place the san jose ???

i was ready for him..

xoxo

My Porn Made a Gay Man Blush…

ahhh sugarbabies….

its been ages since a porn post….. i suppose i just like to make y’all beg for em… so….well… by now…. youre all pretty familiar with my porn player troubles….if not… click here and then here ….sooooo

i convinced a boy… to attempt to return the porn player that “swallows” … to the 8th circle of hell….i mean..umm….. Best Buy…

once we get there…..he takes the porn player over to the geek squad desk… right at the front of the store…while i go to look for a replacement…

of course… he tells the geek squad a movie is stuck in the built in dvd player…

the geeks push some buttons..scratch their heads and push some more buttons….. right about the time i get to the tubo tax display… almost to the desk… one gifted geek pushes the right sequence of buttons…

and WHAM….

the “movie” starts playing….

of course when i say movie i mean hardcore fetish porn…this is not cheerleader porn….umm….no….its good old fashioned latex… whips and chains hardcore fetish stuff…* sigh* fun i know… i know!!!….

and it is playing…. at the front desk of the Geek Squad Station @ Best Buy…. yeah…

• the geek who pushed the button…. his jaw kinda hit the counter
• the “manager” of the counter ..well…. i thought she had a cardiac incident might easily have require full blown (he he he) medical attention
• the gay dude in line..winked at me…while waving his hand over his heart…
• the dude… i had convinced to return the tv with me……turned on his heels….. locked eyes with me and shouted……loudly…. …“suicide_blond…. you bitch … you’re the one who stole my dvd!!! “

you know what can be more fun than watching freak porn????

watching white nerdy folks freak the fuck out….when porn starts playing in thier Best Buy lobby…..

OMG…. you just can not pay for entertainment like that….

xoxo

The Blond Ultimatum…

hi sugarbabies…..

i had a post allll about my weekend and putting up the vintage aluminum christmas tree… and how i got some cowboys to help me…and the speeding ticket …. that would have been “reckless” ’cause well you know…..evidently i changed lanes something like 7 times in three miles…and at speeds over 75mph…. i didnt tell him i would have been doing about 95 BUT i was texting someone….

ok yeah..well nevermind about alll that…. cause….*sigh* last night…i found the PuuuuRFECT trench coat… you know ….tan …shoulder epaulets … a perfectly proportioned collar…belted… just the right length (neverrr happens)… the poor thing is just beggging….as in on its knees …. for some dark glasses ….. and naughty underthings…..

a christmas freaking miracle…..

ahh…. im sooo in love……

xoxo

I’m Not Living Like I Should…

hi sugarbabies….i just kicked back into a vodka tonic… like it was an easy chair... damn.. i love a good vodka tonic…

i wrote several posts last week..i just didnt POST any of them… when i re-read them they were…well… whiney…. who wants to hear a sex kitten whine???… *achem*… its just not sexy…. sooooo…

i deleted em all…. and poured a vodka tonic….

decided… that…in the words of one of my fave songwriters…

slaid cleaves…

I’m not living like i should….

and if i had to sum up the last few weeks…..without whining….it would shake out kinda like this:

• i went to a lesbian party….just to feel xtra pretty….is that sooo wrong??

id believe in something if i could … but im not living like i should

• a hookah bar (yeah yeah..whatever…. it was a new neighborhood and i was happy to be anonymous for a bit)

i know that there will come a day… a heavy price i’ll have to pay

• waved at the crowds from a float in a christmas parade… ok ok..i wasnt a beauty queen…but i WAS …the cute-est “cindy lou who” there…. ok ok…i was the cute-est cindy lou who ..that was old enuff to have a vodka tonic on the float with her….

i keep pretending to be good…but im not living like i should

• worked…. more than usual….but yeah who cares im freaking glad to have job in this economy -decided not having an assistant is way better than not having a job..and its not THAT hard…if i have a few vodka tonics @ lunch

i let the mystery slip away… chasing foolish things all day

• met a cute boy in an unlikely place….. maybe more to follow… maybe not…

i say a prayer i knock on wood…. but im not living like i should

• defended the rights of go-go bars in dc with Freckles….jeez…i wish some folks would get a life…

i just wanted to be good… but im not living like i should

• crashed a party in my building… and “SCORED” 3 bottles of top shelf vodka from the bar… snuck onto the roof, committed a few misdemeanors (how naked can ya get before it is illeagal in dc??) and generally acted like teenagers…(some folks in my building are BAD influences..reallllly bad)

spin the bottle cap… throw a shot back…

• bought a fancy new dress that is cut sooooo…um…inappropriately…
  but for whatever reason...people indulge slutty clothes if the cost is proportionally inappropriate….so ill be considered “well dressed” when in fact..ill just be “expensively dressed” – like a hooker- …note to self: stop fucking with people …just because you can…

a guilty woman where a child once stood….. im not living like i should

but….never fear sugarbabies…

i have it on good authority that santa baby.…kinda thinks it IS nice when im naughty…

xoxo

ps..the bold italic is not me…that is Slaid..i wish i was as clever as Slaid but…im not…thats why the good lord saw fit to give me great tits… “we alllll have our talents… and he expects us to use ’em…” …. well… at least THATS what my aunt doris says..

Hang em High…

sugarbabies…

when i told a boy that i couldnt go out ….because i had to run home to hang sticks from the ceiling…

for… you know… Thanksgiving….doesn’t everyone do that???

i mean …it IS Thanksgiving…there isnt room for the sticks on the table… duh….

but i dont think he understood… actually…i dont think ANYONE i tried to explain it to… understood…

soo….here subarbabies let me show you a pic..of my sticks…

it was a nice party…

football was watched… cocktails consumed…folks were fed… (and no…the lil birdies didnt poo on the table)…

im glad its over…whew!

back to our regularly scheduled programing…

xoxo

How to Commute Like a Sex Kitten…

sugarbabies…

traffic ..is just a fact of life around here… soo… best plan … make the most of it… have some fun…like me..this morning… when im bored.. and traffic is moving slow…

i like to play a little game i call……. Catch a Cowboy..

where i give myself six red lights to get a victim boy to ask for my number……

so this morning it went down like this….

930 am morning traffic…on constitution ave…at 6th street

dwight yokum in the cd player… yodeling away…

sex on wheels and i roll up to the light….next to …

a REALLLY big monster of a midnight blue… turbo diesel… extended cab…long bed…F-350 ..

with a cute little boy at the wheel… whose panties could stay dry next that???

sooo… i had locked onto a target…..

7th street …light…a little eyelash batting…some hair tossing… and i had his full attention…

9th street … light…hes trying to get my attention…

so…. i smile…. and shift gears…make a pouty face…as the light changes…

i buzz through a few greens…and worry for a moment that he might take out a pedestrian trying to stay with me…. sex on wheels is a little easier to maneuver in the city than his monster truck… but…he manages to bully his way through… and sidles up next to us…grinning… at the

14th street…. light…so … i smile and nod … put down my lip gloss

typical…now that he has my attention..he doesnt know what to do with me….hahaha… and he gets bashful…i know ive only got a few more lights to go… sooo….i take charge and ask him…

SB: “are you a cowboy??“

now hes completely flustered…. and its cute… and im having too much fun to stop …so … i push it into gear… knowing its sexy when i push in the clutch and nudge sex on wheels into first…and she growls a little…

he finallly comes back with… “do you want me to be a cowboy??” not THE best answer but it keeps him in the game…

soo… the light changes and sex on wheels and i give him a break…and let him ride along next to us to the next one..

In front of the Wash Monument…light…. i glance over at him all girlie and coy….

and replied…

SB: “well…you know…… there IS a test to see if youre a cowboy….do you wanna take it????“

he has no idea what to do with me… and he looks a little scared now…

this is fun…

he nods as the light changes…

he falls behind as traffic crowds him to get onto Virginia Ave… but he manages to catch back up by the time i roll to a stop at the 19th street light

SB: “first question… do you have any…rope???“

he blushes… really… he turned fevered red…and im willing to bet…he started sweating… it was a short light.. and it changed…..

now…ive got one light to convince him that he has what it takes…to ask for my number… and no guarantee that the quick succession of lights before i get to 66 will be red… so …im debating my strategy…. when he whips the big truck in front of me and sex on wheels... and angles it slightly…blocking the road…and jumps out!!!….

DAMN….the cowboy is blocking CONSTITUTION AVE at Rush hour!!!

damn..i never had this happen before…maybe hes not as afraid as i thought he was…

all i can think is….way to cowboy up… cutiepie…

he reaches out to shake my hand and says …

Cowboy: “hi maam…im cowboy ____ and id really like to buy you coffee….“

i counted that as a win…

soo hes going on about how hes never done this before… how hes not a serial killer… and hes pushing his business card into my hand…

so… i smile… and nod…. and bat my eyelashes….

and handed him one of my cards… it just says…

xoxo

Guitars Cadillacs & Hillbilly Music….

sugarbabies….

im a simple girl…dont laugh..its true…

ok ok .. a lot of my hoodies and t shirts are cashmere…but…you know… simple cashmere…

sooo…when Abdul (the cutest driver in DC… in a simple black town car) .. picked us up last night…. we went across the river to one of my fave little hole in the wall cafe’s for a bite…

IOTA

they have a new chef….so i was a teeny bit apprehensive.. BUT… i am happy to report..

that the new guy… is doing great….maybe even better than the last fella…

the salmon with ginger something … was great..a little sweet..maybe a honey glaze???

and the Burger… (boring i know …but i was feeling carnivorous..) was one of the best ive had of late…

the music was free.. open mike night… sometimes you get what you pay for…but…

generally speaking they have great music..

billy joe shaver, james mcmurtry, nora jones, etc etc have all graced the stage….

when i excused myself to “powder my nose” … i started chatting with the waitress…she asked how every thing was…and i must have sounded like more of a foodie than i am …because the chef introduced himself…

turns out …he used to live in my town in NC … sooo …when i asked if he could whip up my hometown fave… shrimp and grits….

a big ole grin crossed his face…

he told me … he would put grits in the kitchen…not on the menu, mind you…

and next time …

he promised…

grinning slyly… to reallly impress me…

xoxo

Sometimes…I Fake it…

sugar babies…

have you ever had one of those days…

the kind where you are getting ready to go out.. AND watching I LOVE NEW YORK… and sooo you decide..yeah..i should totallly wear some bad a$$ shoes and false eyelashes tonight…yeah… that is sooo what jenna jameson would do…
and then you get the glue in your eye… and while technically this shouldnt blind you… you begin to wonder if that is actually the case….so you sit down on the bed..waiting for your eye to stop tearing…

and then you start talking on the phone…

and then you realize you are running late…so you grab some lip gloss and head out the door…

and then you think..wow…i must look smoking hot in these fake eyelashes cause everyone is sooo checking me out….

and then you find your girlfriend at the bar….

and then she starts digging around in her bag and comes up with a mirror….

and then she wordlessly hands it to you…

and THEN you realize… you forgot to put on the other eyelash…

and THEN…you think…ummm… maybe just maybe….youre the ONLY person this shit happens to

xoxo

Breakfast of Champions…

sugarbabies…

a few reasons that today doesnt suck….

• last night had dinner with a few girls and a cute group of boys…. the cutest of which was only about… ohh.. 16 inches tall… and a snuggler (no worries..that is NOT a clock ticking…)
• dragged ….. the cutest (over 16 inch tall) of the boys home with me…
• had a great breakfast….. the most important meal of the day…
• ran into a friend on a realllly early morning coffee run… when i ordered TWO coffees… she looked at me over the top of her glasses .. i looked back at her… over the top of my glasses… and replied……boom chicka wah wah…
• found my missing fionna apple cd
• rode into the office (topless) singing along loudly

ive been a bad bad girl…ive been careless with a delicate man…and its a sad sad world… when a girl will break a boy ..just because she can

• when i got to the office… someone had brought in bagels..

..what can i say…all that umm.. “breakfast”..

a girl can work up an appetite..

xoxo

my sentiments exactly…

hi sugarbabies…

ok ok..maybe EVERYONE else has seen it..but…i never had…

and i was on my way into the office early this morning soo.. i was sitting in traffic… with no coffee… no breakfast (the most important meal of the day)… and feeling kinda grumpy…

till i spotted…the

BEST.BUMPER STICKER.EVER

If you are gonna ride my ass….at least pull my hair….

brilliant…

i dont know who that chick is..but i love her…

and i showed up at work with a grin… so i kinda owe her…

after i got some coffee… i went to the blessed internets.. and orderd 2 of them…

xoxo

Pretty lil Pistols…are not Always Trouble

sugar babies…one of the good things about texas…

my earrings….. are just cute earrings..not some sort of political statement..

xoxo